2 children & pregnant dilema

wanchai_2

Just read post #1 on this thread in disbelief.

Please leave, or tell him to leave. Do it for your children if not for yourself.

flutterby_lil

I just wonder what he has to do to make you leave him?

You already have 2 kids with this man and a third on the way so you are obviously still sexually active. If I knew that my OH was doing what your OH is to the kids I would put them first and leave. You shouldn't and most probably don't need to ask here - please please please leave and help your children to know right from wrong.

Sorry it is harsh but you need to protect them.

ZARA

Hi a big thankyou to all who have read my original op & thanks for your replies even tho some of them were criticising me. Id just like to point out my children are well looked after by myself even with the current situation, they have everything they could want maybe this is out of me feeling guilt but i suppose material things, toys, ps3s & wiis dont make you happy.I have to mention to correct a few of the ops who i may have given the wrong impression to, i do own my own home, im on 33k thanks to the motivation & inspiration from the MFW thread, the kids dad is violent towards the kids however violence comes in many forms & he is verbally abusive especially to my older 2, who are not his, but he has never hit them, id literally kill him if he ever did that, im not stupid just very naive & vunerable in a big city which has never felt like home to me, my family live over 120 miles away so i dont really have much to with them because of other issues, my mates say the same as yourselves but its very hard cutting some1 out of your life after such a long time & with having kids to him, & this is the reason why he worms his way back in because he knows how to make me guilty & uses the kids, I have called the police but they dont do nothing when i say his violent because the kids are too young to give statements its my word against his, also when they saw my house & lifestyle they found it hard to believe that im claiming to be a single parent so they got in touch with tax people, who opened an investigation into my claim nothing came from this because i never lied about anything im just good with my finances, but it was more headache & stress & then him moaning saying "look what you done now",
Like ive said before thankyou for your replies, my mates have always said the same but when you hear the same thing again & again from the same people it just does your head in, but when total strangers who have nothing to gain or loose from the situation say the same thing it really is a wake up call, after having read your post ive changed my mobile number was a bit gutted as this cost me £35! but had to be done, ive had him come round to house this morning demanding to know why i changed my number looking so innocent like it couldnt be nothing to do with Mr Perfect, i didnt open the door unfortunately i was upstairs & m,y littlen opened the window to him but due to the kids safety locks he couldnt get in, i told him to go or i would call the police, he eventually left feeling very sorry for himself, thanks to you guys again for helping me have the courage to do this, hopefully he wont be back,
Good riddance to bad rubbish is my moto from now on! xx

looby75

I'm so pleased to read that you have done the right thing and got rid of him. Now you need support to help you stay strong and not let him play mind games with you. I know you have your friends and family which is good, but as you've already found sometimes it better to get support from someone who isn't emotionally attached to your situation. I would strongly recommend you get in touch with one of the domestic violence charities, such as Womens Aid and talk to them.

The scars from psychological violence last a lot longer than the marks of physical violence and easily used against you.