mum died and dad destroyed her will, now he's gone against everything she wanted HELP

atush

K_P83 wrote: »

As an outsider on this situation i find your post to be rather offensive.

I lost my dad at the end of September & 3 months may well have past but it still hurts like hell.

You don't know the OPs situation, so OP may well have no pics of their mother. I know if i had moved home before my dad died & then fallen out with my mother & my dad then dying, i would've had no photos of him either as they're all stored at home.

Not very fair to come across as judging people when you don't even know half the story, nevrmind the full story.

Seems to me that you are doing just as much judging here?

For myself I feel for the OP and hope they get it sorted out soon. And get help via the CAB and other avenues. How long ago did you know your mother made such a will? did you ever see it, or did she just tell you about it? Did she tell your brother? if so, compare memories. Anyone else in her immediate family need legal advice- perhpas she used the same person?

but the OP seems to be perhaps a bit of a baby factory (and yes I have 3 so I know) and is worried about her sibling who has lost all to debt. So, we may not know all we need to know in this story as the OPs father is supporting moving all inheritance to the grandchildren of the deceased in this case. Which could mean (for the OPs siblings children if not thier own) the only way the children in question will have any inheritance as he may fear that the parents will spend the money. The father in question may not have destroyed a will but may be just tyring to see right by his grandchildren.

A very messy situation. I suggest the OP gets advice via the CAB or a solicitor pronto. If you suspect fraud and destoying of evidence, involve the police. And worry about you and your children not your brothers brood as he should seek advice himself. You seem to have more than enough on your own plate?

System

K_P83 wrote: »

you don't even know half the story,.

That's what Simmy said

cyclonebri1

K_P83 wrote: »

As an outsider on this situation i find your post to be rather offensive.

I lost my dad at the end of September & 3 months may well have past but it still hurts like hell.

You don't know the OPs situation, so OP may well have no pics of their mother. I know if i had moved home before my dad died & then fallen out with my mother & my dad then dying, i would've had no photos of him either as they're all stored at home.

Not very fair to come across as judging people when you don't even know half the story, nevrmind the full story.

And as another outsider I have to go the otherway, I don't find it offensive for the reason you post, "Not very fair to come across as judging people when you don't even know half the story, nevrmind the f


That's is the issue, we only know 1/2 the story, the story according to the op, you may be perfedctly correct, but so may I and the earlier poster, such is life,

desperatemumof6

simmmy wrote: »

Were you really that close to your mother and not have any photo's of her ? Would like to hear the fathers side of this story.

in answer to this yes I was very close to my mother, she was the most kind, selfless person you could meet, but when she found out she had dementure she didn't want us children or her grandchildren to witness what was happening so she having been ill for a while and getting worse she reluctantly moved abroad to spain with him. He would not allow us to visit or have her address, she was unable to use the phone write etc without his help which never came. She moved back to england after he lost her house 3 years ago and we got reunited then he again stopped her family visiting against the wishes of her care team and advice of her doctors. I was holding her hand when she died. I was 24 and heavily pregnant with my 3rd child when she moved abroad or I would have followed. I too would like to her my fathers side of it as the Lies he has told are unbelieveable, I hope to hear them in court! This is a man who has escaped jail for various offences most of his life including a very fast exit from Saudi, we later found he was also using a false name. I will do everything in my power to make him accountable for what he has done.

desperatemumof6

in reply to the photos, my mother hated them taken and avoided cameras at all costs, i was 17 when i left my family home and all the photos were left there along with her albums, I have 2 taken at my wedding that year but she is hiding in the background so are nopt clear enough for the children to get a good look at her, been so young they have no memories. I cry to sleep every night wishing how my children won't know how amazing she was and just wanting her to let me know she's ok in heaven. NEVER WILL SHE BE FORGOTTEN OR HER MEMORY TAKEN FROM US, BUT HER LAST WISHES SHOULD BE UPHELD, HER FIRST HUSBAND DIED WHEN SHE WAS 21 AND LEFT HER WITH A NEWBORN BABY SO FROM BEING VERY YOUNG I WAS TOLD SHE WANTED.

Grandmama

Try emailing all the solicitors in your late mother's home town or where she lived when she may have made a will. I did this for my late father's will and tried his old home town and within a day we had found the solicitor and will!

atush

Yo have the info you need to being.Concentrate on that rather than replying to the idiots who doubt you w/o thinking about all the possiblities.

I still think there are 2 sides to every story but do think you can make headway in this if you apply yourself.

Good luck and let us know how you get on.

bendix

Did she make the will before or after she had dementia?

It's an important point.

If the latter, then - frankly - looking for it won't make any difference. It would be worthless and she will have been considered to have died intestate, in which case all her assets would go to the husband - estranged or not - anyway.

dzug1

You are I fear going to face an uphill struggle with a high probability of nothing but legal bills and an even greater sense of wrong to show for it at the end.

To take him to court would take a fee of (I think) £400 with no guarantee you would get it back. And all the 'evidence' you have sounds like hearsay. And the chances of a criminal prosecution happening - and even less succeeding - are low. The police will take a LOT of persuading to take any interest.

Even if the will exists/ed, the husband was from what you say was dependent on your mother and is therefore entitled to apply for provision from the will (not necessarily everything) if he is excluded from it.

So my advice would be - move on. But if you are determined you have been given the information to start trying.

bendix

Has the OP even seen the will? She doesn't categorically say she has, simply instead implying that the mother told her what was in it.

I cant help thinking there is more to this than meets the eye.

To be honest, I don't see what's so wrong with the father saying that the money will be distributed to children after his death. If the OP is concerned about the kids knowing what there grandmother was like, how will the OP inheriting the money benefit that?

This is all a bit strange