Putting home into family trust to avoid nursing home fees

sleepless_saver

punchyuk wrote: »

If you get the same care if your skint or rich it does make me think what was the point?

You are under a misapprehension. You don't get the same care. You could be lucky, but on the whole you get what you pay for. Self funders pay more than local authorities are prepared to pay (unfair I know) and that means being able to choose the best home.

Have you (or perhaps more importantly your mother before she signs away her possible future to your pension fund) visited any care homes recently?

margaretclare

So let me make sure I've got this right. Remember, I'm at an advanced age now and may even be 'dribbling into my tea' - my excuse for wanting clarification.

The OP wants his mum, an active 67-year old widow who is a keen golfer (good on her), to cash in all her savings, premium bonds etc, to spend-spend-spend on ephemeral things like holidays (is she expected to enjoy a holiday all on her own, I wonder?) He doesn't want her to have any money left to her at all in the later part of her life and even to give her house to him. He has been reassured by the words of a female solicitor (who may have got it all wrong - leave that on one side) and is firmly of the opinion that there is no point in having any money in retirement years because 'those who have no money get exactly the same care as those who have'.

I have only one word for this and it rhymes with 'rowlocks'.

margaretclare

sleepless_saver wrote: »

You are under a misapprehension. You don't get the same care. You could be lucky, but on the whole you get what you pay for. Self funders pay more than local authorities are prepared to pay (unfair I know) and that means being able to choose the best home.

Have you (or perhaps more importantly your mother before she signs away her possible future to your pension fund) visited any care homes recently?

Money doesn't guarantee health, it doesn't guarantee happiness, but one thing it DOES give is choice. This is the reason why DH and I are still saving, because we simply do not know what may be around the next corner, and we've found that having a little bit of money does help to 'oil the wheels'.

seven-day-weekend

margaretclare wrote: »

So let me make sure I've got this right. Remember, I'm at an advanced age now and may even be 'dribbling into my tea' - my excuse for wanting clarification.

The OP wants his mum, an active 67-year old widow who is a keen golfer (good on her), to cash in all her savings, premium bonds etc, to spend-spend-spend on ephemeral things like holidays (is she expected to enjoy a holiday all on her own, I wonder?) He doesn't want her to have any money left to her at all in the later part of her life and even to give her house to him. He has been reassured by the words of a female solicitor (who may have got it all wrong - leave that on one side) and is firmly of the opinion that there is no point in having any money in retirement years because 'those who have no money get exactly the same care as those who have'.

I have only one word for this and it rhymes with 'rowlocks'.

Ive quoted this post because it is worthy of being repeated and I wish i could thank it more than once.

ticktack_2

margaretclare wrote: »

I have only one word for this and it rhymes with 'rowlocks'.

I always thought it was pronounced "roe-locks". Never realized it should rhyme with the dangly bits.

seven-day-weekend

margaretclare wrote: »

I think we'd have all gone insane if we'd been forced to continue this i.e. if we hadn't been able to access the money from sale of MIL's house. As for now, DH and I are almost at the age of benjo's colleague's MIL. DH had his 77th birthday a couple of days ago. I can't believe it. The absolute last thing I would ever want is to be forced to live with any of the younger family members. Not fair on them and not fair on us. The only way I could ever contemplate it would be if we had a separate 'granny annexe' with own front door.

I agree with this. I would not want my son nor his partner to do personal things for me. Humiliating in the extreme for all of us.

If (andf I hope I never get to this point ), I can't care for myself i would rather go into care and be looked after by professional carers who are strangers. And pay for it if necessary.

I do however understand those who wish for their offspring to be provided for, and want the same for my son. To this end, we have helped him to buy a flat by gifting him a sizeable deposit (he can't afford a large mortgage). He and his partner moved in in February.

If he gets to inherit our house too, that will be a bonus, but at least we know we have left him provided for, whatever happens.

punchyuk

When you have all finished clamouring for the moral high ground perhaps you might allow me the chance to clarify things.
My mother has a new partner who has his own home (now used just as their holiday home in france ) gifted to his daughter.
HE suggested it might be a good idea to do the same, IF it can be done legally and sensibly
They both have a small pension which they can live off and hopefully be able live relatively comfortable.
MY MUM is of the opinion that she might only realistically have 10-12 years left of being physically able to play golf.
How many 80 year olds do you see out playing golf? Not many.......
SHE is of the opinion that even if she is still relatively fit and her dodgy knees and arthritis has not put paid to her golf she might not feel up to travelling on a plane.
I know this might appear a bit of a negative attitude but the majority of people dont make 80. The majority of those that do wont be playing golf and going on plane trips to the far east!
My mother and I both share the same view that she wants to live for now and not for tomorrow. That is why I have suggested that she starts spending her hard earnt otherwise she might well end up giving it to me!
Perhaps I might not of come across as well in my post as some of the more eloquent of posters on here but I certainly wouldn`t have been so judgemental as some of you have!
I assume you think my mother and I would just steam roller ahead with (apparently) my idea to spunk her money and then I'll snatch her house from under her and have her shoved in the first home that will have her without first gaining as much information from both qualified people and obtaining the opinions and suggestions from people on forums like this one.
I want her to enjoy her retirement while she can, I`d like nothing more than for her to get her telegram from Charlie or Wills, even happier if she is still able to drink her tea without the aid of a straw The fact is the odds are heavily stacked against that.
If she is still going strong after she has spent up then rest assured I (and my fiancee who works in the care industry) will take care of her. It will be even easier if I have her house to sell and just pay a top up for a better home for her than leaving it to the authorities to take the full fees out until the pot runs dry. The money will last a whole lot longer.;)
Like others have intimated, in many cases, which my fiancee has seen with her own eyes many many times, saving for your old age does not always pay dividends. My mother and I are just exploring all avenues for her. If that makes me mercenery and my mother selfish then in this instance I and I suspect my mother can live with that.
Perhaps the lynch mob failed to see my question regarding if it was possible to pay for an "upgrade" to a care home that might offer a higher quality of care for my mum if she does end up requiring it.
Only Polycat commented on that and their reply was
"do your own homework"
I always thought forums like this were partly here to share information and ideas not to berate people for asking for help?
Thank you for the link though Poly it gives me more food for thought, "knowledge is power" as they say.
On the subject of power the solicitor, a mere "female" is "of the opinion" that my mother could also consider lasting power of attorney.
Is that a good idea or do you think the "female solicitor" is "just suggesting" another datardly ploy for me to "control my mothers finances" ?

Savvy_Sue

Power of Attorney is worthwhile, given careful thought. Definitely worth doing - for both of you - before her mental capacity deteriorates.

punchyuk

sleepless_saver wrote: »

You are under a misapprehension. You don't get the same care. You could be lucky, but on the whole you get what you pay for. Self funders pay more than local authorities are prepared to pay (unfair I know) and that means being able to choose the best home.

Have you (or perhaps more importantly your mother before she signs away her possible future to your pension fund) visited any care homes recently?

Hi sleepless, I understand your point regarding getting what you pay for, hence the reason why I asked if the local authority pay a set amount towards someone who is able to pay a top up to go to a better quality home.
We are both trying to find ways of saving the equity in her house so it lasts longer. Only when my mum passes away will any of the remainder become part of my pension fund.
We have not visited care homes yet, think that is a tad premature

[Deleted User]

I am glad the op is not my child and that our children are nothing like him. He comes across as not being able to wait to get his hands on his mum`s money. I hope she has eyes in the back of her head