Donating body to science. How to tell family.

Butterfliesarepretty

nixe wrote: »

He donated his body to manchester university science, [ butterflies ]

i am sorry for your loss it must seem very raw still. how would someone go about this with the man univers ?
op i think you are doing a good thing.

http://www.ls.manchester.ac.uk/schoolsandcommunity/bequeathals/

Well it really isnt that raw anymore, we have all managed to be positive and laugh about the good times we had with him. You do get over these things, and i was surprised how quickly I have managed to carry on.
I have just requested a pack by email for myself. Im quite healthy, never had any serious illnesses so would rather be organised for when my time comes. Hopefully not for another 40 years.

suki1964

Careful_with_that_Axe wrote: »

I have a very rare medical problem that may have some genetic traits and I am passionate about leaving my body to the Medical community in the hopes that some more research can be done to identify treatments or whatever.

I have a Living Will in place regarding my wishes when I can no longer communicate. I am unable to donate organs etc in anyway because of the disease and the various treatments I have been on.
I don't want them to just see this direction on there with no prior warning.

If a PM is necessary, I know they won't be able to use me as Med students need an intact body.
My Mum died of a different strain of the disease I have and my sister was absolutely resolute that she didn't want Mum touched in any way after her death.

How do I bring up this subject with her and the other family member, my Father, who suffers from depression and seems to find it difficult to deal with the fact that I am ill?

From what I can remember its up to you to find a medical school which will accept your body now whilst you are still well enough to give written consent - no one else can consent for you.

Some medical schools will accept bodys where parts have been given for donation so I cant see why a pm would make a difference - however thats down to individual medical schools

You can also make provision for your remains to be returned to the family for interment if that makes things easier for the family - that they get their funeral/cremation

nixe

we have all managed to be positive and laugh about the good times we had with him [ butterflies ]

i am glad you had many good and happy times with him.
he sounds like he was a good dad..
thank you for the link, i am under the manchester royal so will look into this i have a terminal but have lived 4 years longer than expected
so they do get things wrong thankfully.
lol i agree lets hope its not for another 40 years for you. xx

coolcait

Careful_with_that_Axe wrote: »

I have a very rare medical problem that may have some genetic traits and I am passionate about leaving my body to the Medical community in the hopes that some more research can be done to identify treatments or whatever.

I have a Living Will in place regarding my wishes when I can no longer communicate. I am unable to donate organs etc in anyway because of the disease and the various treatments I have been on.
I don't want them to just see this direction on there with no prior warning.

If a PM is necessary, I know they won't be able to use me as Med students need an intact body.
My Mum died of a different strain of the disease I have and my sister was absolutely resolute that she didn't want Mum touched in any way after her death.

How do I bring up this subject with her and the other family member, my Father, who suffers from depression and seems to find it difficult to deal with the fact that I am ill?

I'm posting here, without having read the thread, to give you my immediate reactions.

First of all, I'm sorry to hear about everything you're having to deal with .

But, answering your questions, I am also considering donating my body to science after my death. Not because it's wonderful or unusual in any way. It's because my wonderful and unusual (and apparently indefatigable!) uncle has made it known for a long time that he has willed his body to medical research.

He has been very open about it, jokes about it even. He's also very religious, and has faced a lot of resistance from friends on a religious level. But he is quite clear in his own mind and faith and conscience that the body is just a receptacle for the soul, and that makes his own decision even more cler cut.

The bottom line is that it is your decision. This is your opportunity to make your own wishes clear. If you really don't feel able to tell your family now, face to face, exactly how you feel, then you canlet them know that you have put your wishes in a will.

However, if you are able to have a conversation with them now, telling them about the bit in bold in your post, and how you have made a living will now - while you are able to express your wishes - that gives your family time to accept your decision

And they may surprise you with their acceptance. Maybe your sister was forced to guess what your mother woud have wanted? If you have made your wishes clear - to them and everyone else - you spare your family that kind of horrible decision. At a time when they're really not ready for it.

Careful_with_that_Axe

All this informaton is absolutely brilliant, thank you. There is clearly a lot more to be done to prepare for this than I realised.

There isnt a charity in this Country and I haven't been able to locate one in Europe although I have yet to check America. I may have a word with Consultant's secretary and see if she knows of anything.

I had been told that they couldn't accept a body after PM as, like a poster mentioned above, they need it quickly after death. I was also told they needed it intact but will question this now.

It's apparent that I need to do a lot more research into this than I had initially thought, so will start making enquiries.

It is good to hear that other people, including those that are well, are happy to do this. :T It is so important.

Spirit_2

Errata wrote: »

It's a difficult dilemma and you have my sympathy. It's worth bearing in mind that although you may wish to donate your body to the NHS and go through all the formal procedures, when you die the NHS may not want it.
Would it distress your family more if you told them what you wished to do and then when you died they were told your donation couldn't be accepted?

Some years ago I was to have a emergency procedure (which obviously worked:D) for a life hreatening condition . My family were in deep shock (to be fair..i probably was too) and I took the decision to tell them that if it came to it wanted my organs donated.

I told Mr Spirit and my then teenager together as did not want him to be left with explaining this at what could have been a dreadful time. It was the most I could do to prepare them for an 'aftermath'.

What I had not banked on was learning (from the Medic who consented me) that there was a fair amount of me that no one would want!

Thankfully due to the good work of the NHS I continue to make good use of all of me.

Both my husband and I though now know what each other would want concerning eventual organ donation and funeral. Neither of us plan putting this into action any time soon but it is understood and we do discuss/update the funeral bits,informed by what we have learnt from organising/attending the final services of others.

Careful_with_that_Axe

Thank you Spirit and I'm glad for you and your family that things turned out well. I was very sad when I was told I couldn't even donate corneas. I suppose this is my way of doing what I can instead. Even if it's just in the way of tissue samples. I'm not understating it when I say it's something I am passionate about so it really has been heartwarming to come across other people on this thread that feel the same way.

I also want to have enough of a funeral plan written down that people know what my core wishes are, but they can also come together to make some decisions. I think that is one of the important things to leave to a bereaved family as it's something to occupy them iyswim. I've put that badly, but have had a horrid night and need caffeine!

babymoo

Sit them down, tell them how you want it to be. Tell them that they know how unwell you are and it is the only thing you have left to do with your life now is to help someone else and this is the way you intend to do it. Yes they may be upset but it is not their decision. I fully intend to donate mine to medical science if they would accept it ive told my DP and my parents from the offset and theyve always been totally fine. They know the kind of person I am and I will do anythign to help anyone so they've not even bothered arguing with me.

You will be fine and so will your family but you have to be firm with them.

suki1964

Careful_with_that_Axe wrote: »

Thank you Spirit and I'm glad for you and your family that things turned out well. I was very sad when I was told I couldn't even donate corneas. I suppose this is my way of doing what I can instead. Even if it's just in the way of tissue samples. I'm not understating it when I say it's something I am passionate about so it really has been heartwarming to come across other people on this thread that feel the same way.

I also want to have enough of a funeral plan written down that people know what my core wishes are, but they can also come together to make some decisions. I think that is one of the important things to leave to a bereaved family as it's something to occupy them iyswim. I've put that badly, but have had a horrid night and need caffeine!

You still have to find yourself a medical school which will accept your body, and if thats not local to you you also have to pay for your body to be taken to them

I do think you need to get that in place first, else you could be giving yourself a lot of sleepless nights worrying about telling your family about something thats not going to happen

Im trying to remember back but what I can remember is once you are accepted by a school, then theres a document placed in your medical records, and placed with your GP so that the school in contacted on your death

Treed

I believe this is a wonderful thing to do and i hope that your donation helps a lot of people in the future. Your family will support you once they come round to the idea and realise how much you want to do this. Telling them and talking through things and answering questions will be hard, but maybe they will then understand.