Atheist and the nativity

PoorCharleyBear

We are both atheists and only ever mention religion to our small child when required (eg 'what does pray mean mummy?')


She has just started school and came home yesterday telling me about 'Mary, Joseph and their specialist (sic) baby, Jesus'.

I was a bit taken aback as she is purposefully at a non faith school and there are a few other religions in her class.
I did not make a lot of it, just said ' that is a nice story that people tell at Christmas'...but am now not sure if I should ask the school what they are telling the kids.

At the moment she believes in Father Christmas, so when the time comes I guess I will say 'they are all made up stories'.
Have any other atheists got any better solutions? I just do not want her believing in fire and brimstone as we were bombarded with as kids.

serious_saver

Just tell her the truth. It is a story that is believed by Christians. She doesn't have to believe it herself but it doesn't hurt to make her aware that there are lots of people out there who believe different things and who have different religions.

davetrousers

How were you brought up or what were you told as a child? Would that be a suitable model for you to follow with your kids?

robpw2

just because your atheist doesnt mean your child should be , you need to be honest with her and let her make her own choice

elvis86

I'm of the opinion that all state-funded education should be secular so I'm with you there, honestly.:)

Having said that though, I celebrate Christmas. As you do. Whilst, like me, you may like to think of it as a magical time for children and a time that brings family and friends together etc, I don't think it's reasonable to try and edit out the fact that it's a religious celebration.

To me, being Atheist shouldn't mean that you preclude your kids from being interested in and learning about other people's ideas and beliefs. As you said, you just explain that they are beliefs rather than facts.

I think you've done fine in explaining that it's just another fairytale. Do you feel the need to have an in-depth chat with her about every fairytale and Disney film she encounters not being real?:D

The_One_Who

To be honest, it seems like you may be "bombarding" her with non-religion. Let her make up her own mind. A lot of children go through a 'religious' phase, but most soon leave it behind. Although being taught about religion does not mean she will end up religious, and even if she does choose to be, what's so wrong with that?

How would you explain what Christmas is/was for? It's impossible to explain that without bringing Christianity in to it somewhere.

skylight

This is a rite of passage at nursery school. She will be far more upset if she is not doing what her peers are doing as she is too young to understand anything thats different.

I always said/say "Yes, thats what some people believe", or just agree "Oh, you think so?". Being very non-commital but listening carefully to what they have to say.

Religion isn't taught the same way in schools anymore. Perhaps you should ask for the schools religion/teaching/policy/curriculum etc to see what they actually do. Its more covering all religions and they will cover, over the years each area individually. I find it useful to show the similarities and differences ("They can't all be right, can they? But perhaps one of them is".) I don't believe in any god/religion etc at all, but I do believe in not forcing my opinions on my kids. Which is difficult to do!

Mind you, try having a non-believer science based 10yo arguing with a believing (ATM) 8yo at home. Dinner can be interesting sometimes.

emg

Yes, just tell her "some people believe....." you can always add the "...but I don't think it's true" if you feel that is important. Being atheist doesnt need to mean you dont teach your child about religions, just that you let them know that your point of view is that the stories are not true. Children still need to learn the origin of festivals and know that it is important to respect the beliefs of others.

shell_girl

I suppose it depends how much she is learning about other religions as well. You could then have a chat with her about how some people believe different things, and that there is room for everyone's beliefs.

At this time of year Christmas is impossible to avoid when you live in a country that for the most part will celebrate whether they accept the story of the nativity or not. Learning about it will just mean that she is more informed about the stories behind it.

How is the school presenting the information? Are they saying that Christians celebrate Christmas because they believe about Mary, Joseph and their 'speciaist' (this made me smile- very sweet!) baby, or are they presenting it as the truth?

With the age that she is, she may have just enjoyed the story, and not remembered to tell you about any disclimer made at the beginning!

I think as long as the school are giving her a balanced religious education, then you haven't got much room to complain.

ilikewatch

As already suggested above, I would advise that whenever your child asks questions about faith or religion you explain as best you can, adding that some people believe in Christianity/Hinduism/Islam etc. but that you and your partner don't.
I have a friend who was brought up by fiercely Atheist parents, and since discovering religion in his late 20's it has driven a huge wedge between his family as although he respects their views he is upset as he feels he was misled by his parents and was never given a chance to find his faith as a child. Incidentally - my friend has never pushed religion on his own children, instead explaining to them about all faiths and allowing them to make their own decisions in life.

Person_one

The_One_Who wrote: »

To be honest, it seems like you may be "bombarding" her with non-religion.

That's a pretty interesting concept, to be bombarded by a lack of something!

OP, just tell her about it as a story but not as truth. Some people believe in a man called Jesus, they think he was special etc etc.

Do exactly the same for every other religion. Some people believe in a man called Mohammed, some people believe in a god called Shiva, some people believe a man called the Buddha was very very clever...

Google 'comparative religion', its entirely possible to teach children ABOUT lots of religions in an interesting way without teaching them that any one religion is truth.