We’d like to remind Forumites to please avoid political debate on the Forum.
This is to keep it a safe and useful space for MoneySaving discussions. Threads that are – or become – political in nature may be removed in line with the Forum’s rules. Thank you for your understanding.
📨 Have you signed up to the Forum's new Email Digest yet? Get a selection of trending threads sent straight to your inbox daily, weekly or monthly!
Godparents? Moral dilemma.
Comments
-
I am the God mother of both a catholic child and a jewish one, yet am atheist and although not against religion per se, feel very nervous around any religious ceremonies. However, I never saw my request of being a god parent as a religious matter.
Didn't you have to make promises during the services to help bring up the children within the faith?0 -
DVardysShadow wrote: »I agree. Although the parents might not recognise it, I suspect that the sincerest are those who turn it down.
Doesn't it depend on the person?
My godfather agreed straight away, I'm told. He wrote to me regularly, took me to the cinema twice a year, gave me birthday presents such as Bunyan's Pilgrim's Progress, and Bible Stories for Children, and all sorts of similar things. He wrote to wish me good luck in my A levels, "God willing", and really meant the "God" bit of it.
When I was pregnant with my son, he gave me a small book entitled "Christian Motherhood".
He was perfectly sincere, throughout....much enquiry having been made concerning a gentleman, who had quitted a company where Johnson was, and no information being obtained; at last Johnson observed, that 'he did not care to speak ill of any man behind his back, but he believed the gentleman was an attorney'.0 -
I am so pleased this topic has come up.
I feel that because i do not go to church and have no strong religious pull,it is wrong to go to church and be a Godparent and promise to bring them up in whatever faith .
so many people just blatantly go ahead get their offspring christened and never set foot in the church again,aside from weddings and funerals,cannot get my head around it at all,what is the point ? i know some catholics actually do it to enable their children to get into a catholic school later on [as it appears the get a superior education,so ive been told]
I think to have principals is a good thing but it is frowned upon my many .
Hey ho each to their own...surely if God excepts all its a done deal regardless..no?
My aunt who was extremely religious was distraught when we did not have our children christened but as i explained to her should they chose any particular faith when they were older we would have no problem with whatever adult choices they made.
I find most people are just hypocrites and their faith has very little sway in their everyday lives...
Oh dear now look i've started religion and politics ..topics to be avoided !!0 -
Didn't you have to make promises during the services to help bring up the children within the faith?
you know, I think its posible to support someone in their faith without believeing it yourself. e.g. if I were to have a child with my (non believing) Jewish husband I would want my child to understand the faith and culture of BOTH its parents (and the agnostic/other spiritual stances we have taken respectively) and to eventually make their own choice about where they felt more ''at home''. Very few people were as supportive of my decision NOT to be confirmed as my RC preist at the time, he was emphatic that I should know I could go to him at any time with questions and problems, but that as long as I wanted to make good choices he thought it was more important to make them in a way I felt comfortable with. If a priest can support someone believing other stuff than the rest of us probably could manage it. In fact, I rather worry that to do otherwise is somewhat intolerant at times rather than sincere and broadminded.
I would be happy to be godparent, and support education and adherance to a faith so long as the parents understood my approach.0 -
lostinrates wrote: »you know, I think its posible to support someone in their faith without believeing it yourself. e.g. if I were to have a child with my (non believing) Jewish husband I would want my child to understand the faith and culture of BOTH its parents (and the agnostic/other spiritual stances we have taken respectively) and to eventually make their own choice about where they felt more ''at home''. Very few people were as supportive of my decision NOT to be confirmed as my RC preist at the time, he was emphatic that I should know I could go to him at any time with questions and problems, but that as long as I wanted to make good choices he thought it was more important to make them in a way I felt comfortable with. If a priest can support someone believing other stuff than the rest of us probably could manage it. In fact, I rather worry that to do otherwise is somewhat intolerant at times rather than sincere and broadminded.
I would be happy to be godparent, and support education and adherance to a faith so long as the parents understood my approach.
Whilst I appreciate what you're saying, if you look at the promises that you're asked to make in a Christian baptism service, it goes way beyond supporting and educating the child in the chosen faith.0 -
Oldernotwiser wrote: »Whilst I appreciate what you're saying, if you look at the promises that you're asked to make in a Christian baptism service, it goes way beyond supporting and educating the child in the chosen faith.
well that's true too, because I am not myself a comitted Christian, and could not say to the parent I am. However, I feel better prepared and more respectful towards Christinity than many believers. I am not confirmed into any church.....but then...neiher were my godparents! (lthough one of my two proxy god parents was)
One of my parents was a member of another denomination (though atheist!). Many priests/spiritual leaders deal with such irregularities often enough...if not honestly (I have no idea HOW they deal with it, just that they do...because they have done in my situation!). Also, I was christened into my mother's denomination, my sister into her fathers......it happens, it happens increasingly, that people's parents are diferent denominations or faiths.0 -
lostinrates wrote: »you know, I think its posible to support someone in their faith without believeing it yourself.
I would be happy to be godparent, and support education and adherance to a faith so long as the parents understood my approach.Oldernotwiser wrote: »Whilst I appreciate what you're saying, if you look at the promises that you're asked to make in a Christian baptism service, it goes way beyond supporting and educating the child in the chosen faith.
I'm with ONW in the way I feel about it but, if you are comfortable with your take on the ceremony and the support you can offer the children, good for you. It sounds as if you've thought about things and made your position clear with the parents.0 -
neverdespairgirl wrote: »Doesn't it depend on the person?
My godfather agreed straight away, I'm told. He wrote to me regularly, took me to the cinema twice a year, gave me birthday presents such as Bunyan's Pilgrim's Progress, and [I]Bible Stories for Children[/I], and all sorts of similar things. He wrote to wish me good luck in my A levels, "God willing", and really meant the "God" bit of it.
When I was pregnant with my son, he gave me a small book entitled "Christian Motherhood".
He was perfectly sincere, throughout.
:rotfl:
"....thank you, thats JUST what I've always wanted...." :whistle:
On the OP, you sound incredibly sincere, but I think the modern role of a godparent HAS adapted so that most people acknowledge it's not taken "literally".
If you actually set out to introduce the kid to religion you'd be taking it into a world of controversy and guilt and something even people of practicing faith aren't or shouldn't be really "sure" about (and that's coming from a regular churchgoer - as a rule of thumb I reckon anyone who THINKS they are capable of spiritual/moral instruction is probably the WORST possible person to give it - you know, the creepy "all unmarried mothers and gays are going to hell" crowd, who pride themselves on attending church but also smell a bit funny and do things like write letters using the phrase "the Christian heritage of this country" to the Daily Mail).
You should be safe with....
1. Sending expensive gifts every now and then
2. Take it to do interesting stuff every now and then
3. Enjoy being "cool" in it's eyes because you're not boring old mum and dad.
4. Being a good independent person to act in the childs interests, but without any massive emotional "personal interest" you get from being a blood relative.
etc,etc....0 -
Oldernotwiser wrote: »Whilst I appreciate what you're saying, if you look at the promises that you're asked to make in a Christian baptism service, it goes way beyond supporting and educating the child in the chosen faith.
That may depend on the church/faith these days. The last few christenings I've attended the Godparents-to-be have been told if they don't agree or feel uncomfortable with any of the promises made then they can just remain quiet through that section.0 -
runningwoman wrote: »:rotfl:
"....thank you, thats JUST what I've always wanted...." :whistle:
On the OP, you sound incredibly sincere, but I think the modern role of a godparent HAS adapted so that most people acknowledge it's not taken "literally".
If you actually set out to introduce the kid to religion you'd be taking it into a world of controversy and guilt and something even people of practicing faith aren't or shouldn't be really "sure" about (and that's coming from a regular churchgoer - as a rule of thumb I reckon anyone who THINKS they are capable of spiritual/moral instruction is probably the WORST possible person to give it - you know, the creepy "all unmarried mothers and gays are going to hell" crowd, who pride themselves on attending church but also smell a bit funny and do things like write letters using the phrase "the Christian heritage of this country" to the Daily Mail).
You should be safe with....
1. Sending expensive gifts every now and then
2. Take it to do interesting stuff every now and then
3. Enjoy being "cool" in it's eyes because you're not boring old mum and dad.
4. Being a good independent person to act in the childs interests, but without any massive emotional "personal interest" you get from being a blood relative.
etc,etc....
This may be what you think but fortunately most other people aren't so cynical and believe that you don't make promises that you don't intend to keep - "literally"!0
This discussion has been closed.
Confirm your email address to Create Threads and Reply

Categories
- All Categories
- 352K Banking & Borrowing
- 253.5K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
- 454.2K Spending & Discounts
- 245K Work, Benefits & Business
- 600.6K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
- 177.4K Life & Family
- 258.8K Travel & Transport
- 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
- 16.2K Discuss & Feedback
- 37.6K Read-Only Boards