Starting a family...

Addiscomber

Remember that there are significant costs in going to work, which will fall out of the picture. Fares, clothes, lunches (maybe), office collections whenever someone sneezes, shopping at lunchtime for something to do etc. The suggestion to try and live on one salary to see where it goes is a good one, and try keeping a diary to see where the ££ actually drip out to.
Would you consider taking up childminding - not my bag, but you may like it.

kelloggs36

Bear in mind that once baby comes, you will get child benefit of about 17 quid per week, and for the first year you will get about 1k child tax credits. After baby is one, it will drop down again to about 545 per year.

Can you take a payment holiday from mortgage, or reduce payments for a couple of years? This will help.

Janepig

I think you could wait forever for it to be the right time. I waited and waited for DH to agree that we were financially okay, so we were in our mid-thirties having our two. For many reasons I would have liked to have had kids much earlier, but stuck it out because of DH - resigned myself to not having kids actually. Then, when we had them, he says "oh I wish we'd done this years ago"!!!! Git.

What you said about people just managing is true really - you've got no choice, you've got to manage. What about your extended family? Mum, dad, mil, fil? Can they help out a little childcare wise? Also, I didn't find buying the essentials for our first to be that expensive, it depends what you go for. We bought a reasonably cheap cot and travel system and they saw us through both DD and DS, as has the buggy, also the steriliser, monitor, babygro's (unisex!), vests, etc.... so DS ended up costing us very little indeed. Also clothes are very reasonable if you shop at Asda/Primark, etc...

Although it is a good idea to be financially secure before you "take the plunge" you'll be wondering why you thought so hard about it when they arrive!!

Jxx

Rikki

With you being 35 now, how much longer are you willing to put off starting a family?

Will you be making the same excuses in two or three years time?

Babies/ children can be as cheap or as expensive as you make them.

I'm sure if you sat down and worked out where all your money goes you would find areas you could cut back on when the time came.

Lastly you are not always forced to fall pregnant straight away. It could take time.

Fizog

You will manage you just will....I have been a Mum for 17 yrs now and I remember the days when pre kids when we used to eat out, buy take aways, go out at will to the cinema, theatre, pub etc. Pop off to the coast at the weekend buy ready made meals, buy daily newspapers, weekly magazines, dvds, books, shoes, clothes, candles for the house, antiques, lovely holidays, new cars all whenever we wanted. Don't wish to depress you but this will stop..A) you'll be too knackered with baby you won't have the money c) You won't have the time. However the highs and lows of family life are worth the swap, you will wonder whatever you used to talk about pre-sprog. Learn to budget well now. Babies do not need much when tiny, friends and relatives are generous when you have the first. I am always amazed with news headlines announce that to bring up a child costs £150,000, not in my house it doesn't. if you want to put your baby in cashmere and burburry, send them to Eton and Oxford then yep maybe.

Eels100

To the OP, I am in a similar position. I earn £27k and OH earns £14k and we bought a house last year (£630pcm mortgage). OH has a similar debt to service but I am all clear.

I found myself pregnant in November, to our great surprise, and I was terrified. We'd only just adjusted to mortgage payments, and I couldn't see how we'd manage on a single salary. But I did some sums on the basis of statutory maternity pay (approx £100/wk) and worked out what extra we could save weekly and monthly. By starting to save immediately I could almost cover a full six months of maternity leave for myself. My boss has since offered me a monthly retainer (woohoo!) which I hadn't expected so as long as we're careful I am confident I can manage 6 months before returning to work whereby OH will give up his job.

A few suggestions - the baby won't cost much. I've looked into this and decided that as baby won't use things for more than a few months then we can make do with second hand/freecycled goods. I certainly don't intend to spend a fortune on doing up a nursery for a child who won't remember much before the age of 3 - that's a bit of a luxury really.

We thought about both of us returning to work, and while I have no option as the main breadwinner but to go back, OH would be working just to pay childminding costs so initially we've decided to have him stay home. The benefits to baby having a parent around will definitely outweigh the minimal extra spending money we'd have.

We have budgeted on the basis of the 8 months warning we've had - you have more forewarning than that! Start immediately to save hard, because it gets you used to living on the reduced income you'll have at first. Also, one of you may be able to work part-time (not an option for us, as when I am off work I am still on call so OH couldn't go out to work).

I think if I was you I'd start trying immediately, and start saving immediately. You never know how long you will wait for the blue line, so get started. It really is amazing to think that we're on track for a family this summer, when a few months back I was convinced we couldn't afford it and we'd be repossessed! :T

Judi101

I can only reiterate what's already been said. Our DD is 1 on Tuesday. The cost of her so far has only been loss of income and childcare. Childcare for 3 days a week is £500 per month. We have bought almost nothing - I think we spent £80 on her second car seat! We get alot from friends with slightly older children plus freecycle and our family have been very generous. You can spend a fortune on children but they dont need it and it wont be stuff they remember. We are about to take the plunge and go down to one income of £1140 per month net. Yipes. Its going to be really difficult but my boss is being really difficult as they dont like that I work part time. We have cut down where we can to see it we can manage before we lose the other income and are keeping a spending diary. Try living on one income for a while and see how you manage, it should help you save up to fund your maternity leave.

Best of luck

Spendless

We could manage because we never got used to 2 salaries, even so a large unexpected bill sent me back to work p-time when DS was 7 months old. I worked evenings and w/ends and a relative babysat for the hour between my going to work and DH coming home. I packed in the p-time job cos of illness in my 2nd pregnancy and not long after the relative who babysat became ill herself and was no longer in a position to help. We have been lucky as DH career took off as we had a family, but big expenses (holidays, replacing my car, re-decorating, furniture) have been hard to do.

Good Luck :beer:

Lydia.42

We are in the same boat. First baby is due May. We figured that we would never be in a position to afford to have children, but didn't want my age to mean that we ended up missing the opportunity.
Don't forget that you will get approx £108 per week stat. maternity pay, and child benefit of approx. £17 for your first (someone correct me if this i wrong). And if you work for a nice employer (i don't), you may get more benfits.
So with your OH salary things may be tight, but you may be able to work it.

goodwitch

As a mother of four beautiful sons, I can only add to what others have said. Go for it now and you will reap rewards far better than money. During my sons' early lives we lived almost hand to mouth, with very little money left at the end of the month. I cooked all my food from scratch and we always had a hot meal every day. I baked my own cakes etc so they always had treats. I scoured newspapers, charity shops and car boots for second hand furniture, household items, clothes and toys. I told everybody, 'Now the kids are here we won't be buying presents for anybody , so please don't buy for us.' That saved me loads of money! I asked parents and pils to buy winter coats/shoes/clothes as prezzies for xmas and birthday (they always threw in a toy as well!). I started buying for xmas in January sales and continued through year with any bargains I could find. I also had a box upstairs for unperishable treats such as chocolates for xmas, which I filled through the year when things were on special offer or bogoffs. Then around end of November I would buy one item a week for xmas and put it either in the freezer/fridge or the box. I gave one birthday party for all four kids in the summer which we held in the garden with the paddling pool if the weather allowed or in the tent if it rained. Holidays were spent at Haven holiday camps for a week, saved for through the year. My kids are now grown up and still enthuse about the parties/holidays we had. They all are happy and well adjusted and are beginning to have families of their own. They definitely didn't suffer from not having the latest toy or designer gear. They are all careful with their money and appreciate their belongings. I may not have had much money or time during those days but the love and happiness my children have brought is worth all that and more. And I now have two beautiful grandchildren to love!