Help help help - we don;t know where to turn!

Jenjen

Hi Blushing Rose

I just wanted to say that we are in a very similar boat to you. We've been living off the credit cards and burying our heads in the sand for a very long time.

We finally took the plunge last week, opened a new bank account and signed up for a dmp with CCCS. I only sent the paperwork off for the DMP this morning and already the sense of relief is enormous! Tomorrow we will default on our first credit card payment and although this is a scary thought, you know what, I've accepted it and therefore it doen't feel that bad. Even though our DMP wont properly start until January we have decided to live to our new budget from this month and pay the equivalent of our new budgeted amount to the credit cards ourselves as a token payment. DH got paid on Friday and I really enjoyed going out this morning to do the weekly food shop and paying for it from our shiny new debit card knowing that the money was coming from our bank account, not a credit card or overdraft.

I'm not saying its all plain sailing and I guess I will get a bit of pressure from the various credit card companies over the coming weeks when they realise we are not paying them the minimum payment they asked for. But I know that in the long term life will be much better, we wont have to worry about where the next meal or tank of fuel is coming from and eventually we will be debt free and able to live without credit cards.

Hope that helps

Jenny

BlushingRose

Thanks all, you're all very kind and I am very grateful for all the advice.

It is a lot to take in, but we know that we have to do something, and soon.

I shall have a chat with the OH again this evening and ask him to read the new posts which have been posted since he went to work.

merlot123

Blushing, I hope you don't think I was having a go, cause I certainly wasn't, I want you to understand the seriousness of your situation and that you cannot ignore the debts any longer, I have been were you are, mortgaged, remortgaged, loans, credit cards etc. its a bloody awful way to live, dreading the post every morning, I have your best intention at heart.

New bank account needs to be sorted immediately. Did you read about offset (the link I gave you), the bank could recall your overdraft at any time and take your money without your permission. Banks are not nice, they are a business and they will want their money back and some don't care which way they get it.

merlot123

BlushingRose

Thanks Merlot, yes I'd actually read that page before you posted it.
I've posted in the banks forum, asking for some advice re: which bank might be best to change to, baring in mind the cards we've got and things.
I've had a chat-ette with Mr BlushingRose and he will be reading the thread at some point soon.

During our chat, though, he posed the question, 'if we move bank accounts, what then happens to the existing overdraft. Do we leave the account open and pay into it, or what do we do?'
I'm still not 100% clear enough myself in order to answer his question. I'm sure I'm sounding increasingly dense and am possibly asking the same questions over and over again.

Svenena

Leave the account open, but don't pay into it. You'll default on it (as with your credit cards, which you also stop paying, or only pay a token amount of £1). CCCS or whoever helps with your DMP will negotiate with the bank for you to pay it off gradually and freeze the charges and interest (as with your other debts).

Jenjen

BlushingRose wrote: »

During our chat, though, he posed the question, 'if we move bank accounts, what then happens to the existing overdraft. Do we leave the account open and pay into it, or what do we do?'
I'm still not 100% clear enough myself in order to answer his question. I'm sure I'm sounding increasingly dense and am possibly asking the same questions over and over again.

Depending what route you decide to go down after taking advice from CCCS or one of the other debt charities, your overdraft will just become part of your debt and your old bank will be one of your creditors.

If its a DMP you choose then a proportion of your debt payment each month will be allocated by CCCS (or other charity) to your overdraft. I'm not really sure how any of the other methods work but I think an overdraft can be included as a debt in any of them so it will be treated in a similar way to the credit card and loan debt.

Hope that helps

Jenny

happyhaddock_2

Hi Blushing you've had a lot of really good advice on the thread. Just to add we were in the same position nearly two years ago, ALL our money was servicing the debts, cards and overdraft maxed out and NOTHING to live on. We were scared, didn't know what to do but knew we couldn't carry on the way we were, we also had an excellent credit rating at that time lol!.

We started a debt management plan (DMP) with CCCS, it was scary cancelling the bank account we'd had for nearly 30 years! but we took it a step at a time and everthing went ok. It's not been plain sailing because life still has a nasty habit of chucking rocks at you sometimes! but it's a LOT better than if we'd done nothing. Good luck x

Vikipollard

Hi Blushing :T

As everyone else has said, by opening a new bank account you will at least have the whole of your salary to service your priority debts and living expenses like food/petrol.

Although you have yet to default, your credit profile is likely to be shot to !!!! anyway based on what you owe versus incoming funds. You've been having to use credit to pay for essentials like food and you recognise the spiral you are in, which is a helluva big step forward

I was worried sick about not being able to get credit any more, but soon realised I'd not had a snowball's chance in hell anyway, because I owed £20k (unsecured) against a £15k salary. I have an IVA, which was the right thing for me. 5 years and two months into it, and I have 10 months to go. At that point, I can begin the clean up operation, but the relief I've felt has been immense. I've also learned not to rely on any credit at all which for someone as undisciplined as me is a Godsend!!

Give yourself credit for facing your situation, and get OH to change the bank account. It's the first step to liberation and will stop them just taking the money and leaving you with nothing.

GL and keep us posted x

lauradora

Hi Blushing

Hope your ok and enjoyed your lie down!!

I know where you are right now. As many of the others have said ive been there and im still fighting my way out.

A lot of people are telling you what to do right now and its probably over whelming you but most of them are right!! You need to have a good read through this website and some of the other debt ones
(the free ones!) I used national debtline and am using self management.


Also if your OH isnt on the same page as you, you may as well give up now.....

But please be assured you have come to the right place, people here have been where you are now.

when I was at my lowest I started on here and everyone was friendly and non judgemental

So
1. Yes its important you open another bank account asap. Dont wait for your OH open one in your name if need be

2. Get reading and decide what your next move is, we'll help all we can

3. get back to the jobcentre and get JSA, theres no reason why you shouldnt

See you soon

Laura

Mort

Hi Blushing,

One thing to be aware of is that many of us who have responded have been in a similar position to you. I was at work when I got a call from Mrs. Mort saying there was no money in our current account and her credit card was being declined, this was within a week of my monthly pay going in. It was not nice and I hate the thought of anyone else being in the same position.
For us there was no other option, we had to default all over the place, the only good thing was that our mortgage had been paid.

I am not sure how accurate your SOA is, the last one I have seen shows that you have a very small amount of income after meeting bills etc.. If this is right you might get by this month by taking a mortgage holiday (if allowed) but if you keep spending on credit cards to pay for food your situation is probably only going to get worse. Credit cards are not your friend and neither is your bank.

At the end of the day only you and your partner can take action to sort yourselves out. Whatever happens you will get free advice here and it is well intentioned.