Help Me Im Having a bad day

SnowyOwl_2

Well, I think if I was in Help's shoes having to choose between 39 years or 12 months then I would choose the 12 months option. Or put it another way it's a choice between depression/no hope or good health/hope. She seems to me to have taken a lot of thought about her situation and the thought of bankruptcy appals her and I am sure like so many others she can't believe how things have got this bad.

I would like to say to Help that if people find out you are bankrupt SO WHAT. They will find something else to talk about next week, then they will forget about it. Any friends who drop you aren't your friends anyway - keep your head held high. I can appreciate it's not easy but if bankruptcy is the best option then go for it. Your children deserve to have a happy mummy and daddy.

We all make mistakes but a sentence for even a truly heinous crime is rarely for 39 years, and you have punished yourself enough.

Nasnowt

Take care Help, dont forget this site never shuts.

Debt_Free_Chick

Ur right......we probably did give people that impression in fact we defo did. Our kids did not want for anything and now theyr'e stupid parentsare paying the price. U r not telling me anyhting I dont know or think in the first place, jsut never admitted it before.

It's not for me to give you a ticking off - though it did look like I did - but it's important to realise how you got into this mess, so you can avoid going there again. I've been there ... that's how I spotted it

HELP_4

Hi DFC.....
How did you get out of your situaation and was it as bad as mine.

Malestrom

Help, I feel that there is only one thing thats preventing you from going Bankrupt and that is pride. So, 39 years with your pride intact and a few expensive trinkets or the possibility of a few nosy gits knowing that you've gone bankrupt and a short-term loss of your pride. Doesn't seem like much of a decision to me. You are in the PERFECT position to go bankrupt and start over, please don't waste the opportunity

Just something else I wanted to say, you seem worried that you will lose some savings (sharescheme) and personal items. Reality Check. You OWE over a hundred grand, how can you even be thinking about factoring those things into the equation? You have to learn to live within your means otherwise your family is never going to be able to live a normal life.

Please don't think that i'm not supportive, I want the best for you as does everyone else here but you need to be pro-active in sorting it out. Feeling sorry for yourself won't achieve anything. I am also in debt, nearly 50 grand although its going down all the time due to help from the CCCS. I would have jumped at the chance of bankruptcy but its just not an option for me.

Bankruptcy is your ONLY option. You may have less material possessions afterwards but your quality of life will be so much higher. Talk it over with your husband and family if you want but please, please consider it.

The very best of luck.

skye

With bankruptcy, how long can the OR take some of your excess income to pay off your creditors for?

Leia_Stephens

"Help, I feel that there is only one thing thats preventing you from going Bankrupt and that is pride. So, 39 years with your pride intact and a few expensive trinkets or the possibility of a few nosy gits knowing that you've gone bankrupt and a short-term loss of your pride. Doesn't seem like much of a decision to me. You are in the PERFECT position to go bankrupt and start over, please don't waste the opportunity"

Help, I agree with Malestrom: if I were you I would go bankrupt:) .

We are here for you

Leia

HELP_4

I am mulling it over, thanks for the comments everyone. It's just taking that leap isn't it. It IS pride which has stopped me opting for bankruptcy as I want to pay my dues. The way I sort of figured it is thatmost people live to a budget anyway so I have to for a longtime then so be it, its about time I DID live within my means and being on a DMPlan with the CCCS will help to do that and stick with it. I need to look into B properly to see what it involves and what happens after the 5 years etc. As it is now I will never get another mortgage although my rent is more than I was paying mortgage anyway (ludicrous isn't it). Can you apply for a mortgage after B.

Debt_Free_Chick

HELP

Firstly, your bankruptcy is likely to last 12 months, NOT 5 years

Yes, you can get a mortgage having been bankrupt. It might not be easy at first. It might be better to rebuild your credit record, which you can do by using CONTROLLED spending on a credit card e.g. use your budget to buy something on a credit card e.g. food, petrol .... PAY IT OFF every month IN FULL. Do this for a year or so and BINGO! You have a good credit record

I am concerned about anyone having to spend 39 years paying off their debt, even if they have been reckless or foolish or just taken in by social pressures to appear to be coping or well-off or ... whatever! In particular, you will need to save for retirement ... and you won't be able to do that, if you are paying off debt.

Have a good hard think about it. And, as Maelstrom says ... Sod the nosey gits who think that they can judgement on those in a more difficult position than themselves. They are the same people with loads of debt, paying outrageous amounts on interest or just p!$$ing their money up the wall. Sod em, I say

Please, read this "I am thinking of going bankrupt"

https://www.insolvency.gov.uk

And if you want us as a support group, post back.

TO THOSE WHO THINK THAT BANKRUPTCY IS IMMORAL/EASY

Debt_Free_Chick

HELP

Firstly, your bankruptcy is likely to last 12 months, NOT 5 years

Yes, you can get a mortgage having been bankrupt. It might not be easy at first. It might be better to rebuild your credit record, which you can do by using CONTROLLED spending on a credit card e.g. use your budget to buy something on a credit card e.g. food, petrol .... PAY IT OFF every month IN FULL. Do this for a year or so and BINGO! You have a good credit record

I am concerned about anyone having to spend 39 years paying off their debt, even if they have been reckless or foolish or just taken in by social pressures to appear to be coping or well-off or ... whatever! In particular, you will need to save for retirement ... and you won't be able to do that, if you are paying off debt.

Have a good hard think about it. And, as Maelstrom says ... Sod the nosey gits who think that they can judgement on those in a more difficult position than themselves. They are the same people with loads of debt, paying outrageous amounts on interest or just p!$$ing their money up the wall. Sod em, I say

Please, read this "I am thinking of going bankrupt"

https://www.insolvency.gov.uk

And if you want us as a support group, post back.

TO THOSE WHO THINK THAT BANKRUPTCY IS IMMORAL/EASY

You need to ask yourself whether you think it is acceptable for someone in debt to have to pay it back over 39 years. One can be convicted of murder and have a much, much lower sentence.

Also, depriving someone of the means to save for retirement effectively condemns them to a State funded or State aided retirement. So the taxpayer, pays. At least with Bankruptcy .. the lenders pay.

Personally, I think it's immoral in today's society to expect a family to pay off their debts over 39 years, even if they have amassed a lot of "stuff". They were sucked in by the pressure of their peers ... and that includes "you and I", in the generic sense.

Good Luck HELP .. I, for one, am routing for you