Help Me Im Having a bad day

HELP_4

Help, I don't know what to do ? I owe a personal debt (myslef and my husband) of £140,000. Although we have taken steps and are in a debt management plan I feel down today. I keep thinking its not happening its not real. I have good days and bad days. The fact that we have sold our hosue, live in rented accommadation with two gorgeous children makes me feel worse. What have we done to our lives and theirs. It will take us 39 yrs to clear our debts. We are getting phone calls all the time from creditors. Can we go on for 39 yrs like this earning this much or even still be here in 39 yrs. We will never get a mortgage again. I have still not told my parents as I feel selfish by unburdening myself and I know they will worry, at the same time they are wondering why we live in rented property and have not bought another house (can I keep up the pretence). I read in newspaper articles about stars shopping spress and wonder could I contact them to help me. You read about people raising money for charities, why not for people in debt trouble. I feel crap, really crap about everything today and need a way out.

Sofa_Sogood

Hang on in there HELP. Someone will be reading what you've written and will be along soon I'm sure.

Sorry I can't help, but stay on here and someone will.

elona

I do not want to make you feel worse but have you had a look at some of the other threads especially the ones dealing with bankrupy as it may be less awful to bite the bullet and go for bankrupcy than to feel you will be struggling for the rest of your life.

The level of debt in this country is rising rapidly and the situation you are in is not "all your fault" and I am sure there are a lot of others in a similar position.

Think about all the adverts and magazines, even newspapers that encourage us to spend, even or especially when we are in debt already.

Please don't blame yourself as at least you are facing up to the problem and I am sure that there will be some more helpful and detailed advice on its way.

Debt_Free_Chick

Could you give us a bit more information about the debt please? You say it's "personal" ... do you owe another person e.g. friend or family? Or is this a loan or credit cards? Has any action been taken against you?

Let us have more details and we may be able to give you something to consider.

HELP_4

Thanks for your replies. I think I need to share it as people don't tend to talk about debt these days, sex and drugs yes but debt no one ever discloses anything. I have thought about standing outside concert halls asking every single person for a £. What is a £ (trolley money). We have thought of bankruptancy but then you need to apply seperately and it costs £450 each. Where do you get that from when your broke and then it goes in the local paper. I feel for my children and want to keep life as normal as possible. I feel really stressed their is not a day when I don't think of what's happneing to us. My health is suffering and I feel like I could cry 24 hours a day.

mountainofdebt

Help

Not sure if I can be much help but just wanted you to know that there are some wonderful people on here who won't be judgemental and will help you as much as they can.

I think I am right in saying that you can write to your creditors telling them that you will only deal with them by letter - so that should stop the phone calls.

Don't worry about the kids...as long as they have parents who love them that's all that counts.

Do you want to talk about it further as this may help you deal with your situation?

Nasnowt

Hang on in there Help. Sounds like you have taken a lot of the right steps and are moving in the right direction. Maybe the shock is waring off which is why your having such a bad day. Dont feel alone, we're here.

Debt_Free_Chick

To get £450 for bankruptcy ... firstly, you stop paying your debts - it doesn't matter as you're going bankrupt anyway. Would that give you £450 each?

If you let us know where your money goes each month, we can suggest where you can cut back to get the bankruptcy fee.

HELP_4

It;s mainly loans and credit cards. It took us a long time to face up to things, my husnabd and I split for a while (him thinking he was doing me a favour) we had a baby before this who is now 2 and a 7 yr old and I went off work with depression, he was borrowing from one card to pay another and keeping it from me as I had just had our baby and so on. We are in our first month with cccs dmplan and the phone calls are slowing down but I cannot ocme to terms with this and I am constantly looking for ways out. Competitions, a fortune meeting with someone that can help. Writing for help to famous peole, it sounds so silly but I am feeling quite irrational sometimes, where as my husband seems to just get on with it.

Bun

Hello Help,

I do feel for you! I'm sure you feel more positive on your good days, but you are definitely in the right place for help and support! There are loads of people on this board who are either in or have been in your position,and will help all they can.

We got ourselves in a bit a of a mess a couple of years back and were lucky enough to be able to add it to the mortgage while it was feasable to do so.
I cannot even imagine how worried you must be. Try to give yourself credit - you have taken steps to improve things. Do tell your parents if you can. They may be able to help you, if not financially at least by it being a weight off your mind not lying any more. Everybody makes mistakes, you aren't a failure. The most important thing is that your children need a roof over their heads, and loving parents. Sounds like they have both thanks to you so you aren't doing too badly on that score!
Hope tomorrow is a good day!

Sofa_Sogood

I know it's easy for me to suggest this HELP, but try to think and answer what Debt_Free_Chick asked.

Make a list of who's owed what etc. But hang on there.