moral dilemma!

mikeassured

Hi

If you knew the partner of a close relative is looking through his personal finances, taking all his investment details to an accountant as she is going to leave him, would you tell your close relative or hint what is going on?

There is a good chance the close relative would find out you knew all along what had been going on as the partner had told you what they were doing.

Thanks

bluezone

its a tough one but they do say blood is thicker than water

Lillibet_2

A toughie but personally I'd tend to leave well alone. I live by the rule "don't come between husband & wife".

newlywed

I'd be inclined to tell the partner to say something as I'd feel very uncomfortable and feel I'd have have to say something to my relative.

So I'd probably warn the partner that I'd have to say something.

Idiophreak

It all depends really - do we like the relative or the partner more?

I hate to say it, but I'd have to take sides at that point - I'm not the type that can sit and wait to see what happens.

Morglin

My advice would be to stay right out of it and let them sort it out.

Nothing adds fuel to domestic strife quicker than others joining in.

Lin

Acc72

Although I would normally advise keeping out of such situations ....

You need to look at all factors - are talking about a sibling ?, are you close ?, are there any children involved etc ?


If you wanted to be really sneaky you could tell another close relative and leave it up to them if they tell the affected party or not !!

moggins

She's not really doing anything illegal as he would have to declare his finances anyway. If he is the type to try and hide his finances so she gets nothing then I say fair play to her. I've been completely stitched up with a divorce before and ended up with nothing more than I could fit in the boot of my car so I'm afraid I would do exactly the same thing if I had to.

mikeassured

Thanks for all your replies. Yes I am close to the relative, it is my brother. They are not married and have no children. His partner is not particularly close to me, but said she was unhappy and was planning on leaving him. I was told the reasons for her unhappiness which was mainly emotional and compatability. She has always been a big spender and he a saver. She suspected there was savings she didnt know about and enlisted a friend to find passwords to his accounts and searched through his office at home. This is the point I felt uncomfortable especially when she said she was going to her friends accountant the next day armed with all his paperwork. After much soul searching I decided to tell my parents who knew a little of what was going on. They said that he needed now to be made aware of what was happening and consequently told him and asked if they could help in any way.
I posted this really to see what others would have done.

Thanks

Acc72

If they are not married and have no children, then I would have thought that unless the bank accounts were in joint names, then whatever is his is his, and whatever is hers is hers (I may be wrong).

It is difficult to give advice without knowing all facts - however, this situation seems different to the one moggins describes and you are probably right to tell your brother.

PS - I assume that password-breaking is for excel files etc. and not actual online banking or anything ? (your brother might be advised to inform the Bank or even the Police in case there are strange transfers made out of his account).

moggins

I agree, now knowing they are not married and have no children, what she's doing seems completely out of order. I'd drop her right in it