Gift for parents, right or wrong??

mintymoneysaver

I think that would be a lovely idea. My mum would probably be the sort who would lend me money, and then wouldn't want it back, and I would like to do similar for her if I had the opportunity.

elvis86

Why_oh_why wrote: »

Sorry, probably wrong place to put this

We owe parents some money. We now have the money in a separate account to pay them back but they refuse to take the money!! After seeing our new tv, they have decided they need a new tv.

Me and hubby are considering just buying them a new tv - and saying we have some money put aside to pay you back and you refuse to take it, so we thought that we would get it for you (OH is from an electrical background, so is good at choosing good makes blah blah blah).

Is this a good idea or not?? (If they are upset about not having the money I can specifically set aside some money to make up for it and also, there is still more money that is owed that is sitting in this separate account for them!!).

I'm asking because we thought it was a good idea to pay them back in some way but now I'm going through my usual doubts, despite knowing that it's something they want

Were his parents spark plugs? Or was he abandoned and raised by fuses?:D

onlyroz

It's a good idea, but you need to make sure that:
a) your parents don't go out and buy one themselves because they don't know you're getting them one
b) you get one that they want and not one that you think they want
I think perhaps you could buy them a notional gift for Christmas and then tell them you're taking them out on Boxing day (i.e. in the sales) to get them a TV

Brighton_belle

I wouldn't force the money back to on them through BACS or other means: they are capable adults who not dribbling idiots. They have happily made a choice about their own finances to not to want or need the money back and gift it to you.
I it were me, I wouldn't be buying the tv instead because I would assume my parents thought I needed the cash, but only you know your circs and their circs.
Having said that, sometimes parents do need a push to spend money on themselves for 'luxury goods' and if they have taken your DH's guidance before then may be its a good idea. I know my parents would like guidance but ultimately choose the item themselves.

If you really want them to have the money back, you could say that if they don't take it back, it means you can never ask them for short term help again in the future should you need to.

carolpinkdreamer

I was in exactly same position with my mom years back. She wouldn't have money back so I bought her a tumble dryer and she was absolutely delighted. I know it doesn't sound very exciting but she'd always wanted one!
I'd ignore some of the earlier posts about Jan sale, there are some good deals around now (especially if hubby is knowledgable).
Go buy it and present it in time for Christmas. x x x

WestonDave

To put a slightly different perspective on this - depending on your parents situation, giving you money now (by writing off the loan) can be a tax efficient way of avoiding Inheritance Tax later (assuming they live for more than 7 years from the time of the gift). It might be that having lent you the money, they have been able to live without it and as parents who look out for their kids rather than their own interests, don't see any reason to have it back.

We have a similar arrangement with my OH's parents except that in our case it was acknowledged as being intended as a gift for IHT purposes, but as we have an offset mortgage we choose to keep it in what we call the "slush fund" offsetting interest on our mortgage but available to either them or us if a crisis arises. If they don't want it back maybe you could have a similar arrangement even if only in your own minds - which then avoids having to go against their wishes.

If you want to buy them a TV as a seperate exercise then go ahead (maybe internally considering this as a "slush fund" purchase) but I'd personally respect their wishes and not keep trying to force the money back on them.

claire16c

I think it sounds like a good idea. You could always make it their xmas present so they dont feel like its replacing the money. Like brighton belle said they are not idiots, if they wanted the money back Im sure they would say!

Btw if you have Costco membership lots of their tvs come with a 5 year guarantee. My parents bought us a new one as an early xmas present, as they found a tv that was £500 on amazon, but £440 in Costco, and its a Sony, and Sony are doing a £100 cashback deal (although not sure if this has ended now - we got the present early so my Dad could get the cashback but not sure what the end date of the offer was). So might be worth having a look in there.

magenta22

Parents can be very fickle sometimes though.

Whilst I think it's a nice idea what if they then decide they do want it back?

pinkclouds

WestonDave wrote: »

To put a slightly different perspective on this - depending on your parents situation, giving you money now (by writing off the loan) can be a tax efficient way of avoiding Inheritance Tax later (assuming they live for more than 7 years from the time of the gift). It might be that having lent you the money, they have been able to live without it and as parents who look out for their kids rather than their own interests, don't see any reason to have it back.

Brighton_belle wrote: »

I wouldn't force the money back to on them through BACS or other means: they are capable adults who not dribbling idiots. They have happily made a choice about their own finances to not to want or need the money back and gift it to you.
I it were me, I wouldn't be buying the tv instead because I would assume my parents thought I needed the cash, but only you know your circs and their circs.

Agree with the above. It looks like parents have actually gifted the money to you, even though in your mind it was a "loan". The best way to "repay" them is to ensure they can see you are now managing your finances wisely. Personally, I wouldn't buy the tv. It's a large purchase and seems a trifle frivolous, considering past circumstances - it might actually disappoint your parents. Spend what you can afford i.e. your time. Your parents will appreciate it far more.

pollypenny

As a parent, I think that buying a TV is great.

You have been very honourable in saving and offering them the money, but I can see why they won't take it.

Something they need is a good idea.