My child has been reported to social services

sarahevie

Whilst I was at work last week my youngest (18 months) bumped her face, under her dad's supervision.

There is a visible bruise on her cheek, I didn't think too much of it as she is unstable on her feet and regularly trips over and we encourge our children to play outside, be active and inevitably she does get the odd bruise.

Now last Thursday I took her to a local children's centre for a dance lesson, and on Friday for a toddler group at the same place.

I got a phone call this morning telling me that they have referred it to social services and I may be contacted about it. I've been really upset about it, and OH is fuming.

Does anyone know what we can expect next?

gingin_2

Just giving this a nudge as it is slipping off the first page. I really feel for you :-(

clearingout

When my ex reported me to Social Services they wrote to me, asking me to call them. When I called them, they went through a string of questions with me based on the allegations my ex had made. The woman wrote notes there and then on her computer and said that she wasn't taking it any further but that decision would need to be 'verified' by her manager. I never heard from them again.

I wouldn't worry - it's upsetting but the people are just doing their job. Imagine if your daughter was being hurt and they didn't bother? You know exactly what happened - it's perfectly reasonable and happens at some point to all children. They will understand that.

Rikki

What ever happened to a child just falling over and getting lumps,bumps and grazes with nobody batting an eye.

I wouldn't worry too much you and her Dad know it just one of those things. It may go no further. If you do get a call then deal with it then.

I would talk to the people who reported it to establish why they took such action and without talking to you first.

Keeping_Positive

I wouldnt worry too much as you know when it happended and bumps are common at that age. My eldest (13) was reported the other week after friends rang the police on us (long sorry) it was nothing and I just got a letter from social confirming no action and some leaflets about parenting. Even if you get a visit Im sure it will just be routine and they will see instantly that nothing is amiss.

I also encouraged my kids to be active and embarrasingly there were occasional bumps I didnt know how they had come about!

Nicki

I think its a protocol. They have to refer and have to tell you they've referred, even though SS are likely to do absolutely nothing about it.

I had a call from the HV asking me to bring my 18 month old in to the next clinic one half term. We were away on holiday so I didn't get the message for a week, and took him to clinic as soon as we got back, and was stunned to be told that as I had "ignored her request to present him", we had been referred to social services, but I didn't hear anything more about it from social services or the HV. The reason I was being asked to present him was because we had reported a broken window to the police a few weeks previously, and apparently any crime report from a house with a child under 5 years old trigger HV involvement, even though my child was not in the room at the time the window was broken and did not figure in my police report in any way!

Ellejmorgan

I've had a similar experience,someone went to the nspcc and said that I had a strange man in my house with my 5 year old and was playing with her with a balloon.she apparently had no bottoms on and I was no-where to be seen-
This was all through the curtains allegedly..

This man is her biological father, we've been together 10 years at the time we were on route to his mothers up North..Even if she'd had no bottoms on he'd have more than likely bathed her..And I only have blinds in my house..

My child was interviewed by a social worker at school which distressed her and could have had serious consequences as I have a special needs child who is in residential care...

Kids fall over, don't try to fight social services follow the system and never admit to any form of not being able to cope or manage..

make_me_wise

sarahevie wrote: »

Whilst I was at work last week my youngest (18 months) bumped her face, under her dad's supervision.

There is a visible bruise on her cheek, I didn't think too much of it as she is unstable on her feet and regularly trips over and we encourge our children to play outside, be active and inevitably she does get the odd bruise.

Now last Thursday I took her to a local children's centre for a dance lesson, and on Friday for a toddler group at the same place.

I got a phone call this morning telling me that they have referred it to social services and I may be contacted about it. I've been really upset about it, and OH is fuming.

Does anyone know what we can expect next?

If they were concerned about your child they should have spoken with you and asked what caused the bruise. As you quite rightly state toddlers get bruises and knocks because they are unstable on their feet.

If they had done this and you had been defensive and there were other concerns like your child seeming very distressed, unclean, underweight etc, then a call to social services would have been justified. However to just call a very overstretched and essential service like that because of seeing one bruise seems time wasting to me.

As another poster said you may get a letter asking you to contact them. They may need to ask a few questions and then I should think nothing more will come of it.

Alikay

Bumps and bruises which you can explain, are in places where you can normally expect children to get them ( face, legs, arm etc) and on a well-cared-for child won't worry SS unduly. You take her out to clubs and activities and people can see she's fine and that you interact well. Unfortunately the staff or volunteers at the groups you've attended have interpreted their child protection policy in a way which means they've felt they had to report you.

From what you say, I'm sure it'll be OK and SS won't take it any further.

bestpud

Are things really that bad now??

What a ridiculous waste of resources when services are being stretched to the max!

pulliptears

I was paranoid when DS was little about it, he'd started to walk around 8 months, incredibly early, but for some reason walked on his tip toes and continued to do so until he was about 3. Of course this meant that he was usually black and blue from falling forward as he ran. I remember being quite upset in the Doctors once over it because he did look like a beaten child. Fortunately my GP took it seriously and he was tested for muscular dystrophy (thankfully negative). He grew out of it but I recall the fear I had that SS would come knocking.

Older and wiser I now know that SS will realise it's just a bump and the visit will be routine.