bullying in infant school

mummyoftwomonkeys

Hi everyone could you please give me some advice, my d.s started reception class in September and his teacher gave us a good report during parents evening and said he gets on well with the other children and plays with them all but I am a little worried about the things he has been coming out with. He told us on friday that 2 boys said do you have any money and the told him they were going to throw him in the stinging nettles it would be his prison and a couple of weeks ago he said a boy wanted to "destroy him" the thing is my little man is quite small for his age and he wears hearing aids, me and my husband were worried he would get picked on because hes different but I never thought it would start this early. I would like to have a word with his teacher but Im not sure what the best way is to go about it

JC9297

My first thought is perhaps they were playing a pretend game but perhaps your son didn't understand? Not saying little children can't be horrible but don't immediately think he's being bullied.

sashadesade

The language does sound odd for small kids. I would also wonder if it was intended as a game, like re-enacting something from a film. I think you need to question him more to find out exactly what's going on and how he feels about it.

Lotus-eater

I would just go straight in and tell the teacher what he has said. They may be able to put it into perspective, at the worst, they can keep more of an eye on him.

mummyoftwomonkeys

My husband has had a word with his teacher and they said they would keep an eye on them, strong words for kids tho I think

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

If he is being picked on, it is just as likely because he is small and quiet and nothing to do with using hearing aids. But it may be a perception thing, anyway, and he isn't actually being picked on at all, but you are reacting strongly when he has possibly taken words said in play literally.

The older kids at 5, especially those with big brothers/sisters, are usually a lot more mentally robust, taller (the age/development ratio of a September: July baby in reception works out as roughly the equivalent of a 16 year old compared to an 11 year old - and how big were the 5th years when you started in high school, compared to you?) and more confident/articulate.

They may just be used to playing with rougher words and rougher big brothers, not really meaning it with malice - so try not to react too strongly to the stories that come home, but mention any that sound more aggressive to the teacher, in any case.


The words they are using sound rather like a superhero game - something akin to the X-men, Batman or suchlike, what with the prison and destroying. And nettle patches do make an ideal imaginary jail - you have to stand in them and can't step out, theoretically - like one of the laser beam cages most comic baddies get imprisoned in.


Mind you, he could also be being picked on by some right little ****s, so it's best to mention it to the teacher as you have done, whilst keeping an open mind.

picnmix

I think you were right to have a quiet word with the teacher, but if I had a pound for every time my DD has come home from school saying "such and such said this" I would be a rich woman and if I had to mention it to the teacher every time we would have spent a lot of time together.

Whilst I think this is entierly normal for your DS to come home and chat to you about this, as a parent I have found that since DD started shcool I have had to develop a whole new set of skills to deal with these issues that arise at school. Children do say some strange things, especially those with older siblings, a lot of it is said when playing games, my DD is a sensitive little thing and retells me all sorts of things that happen at playtime which have upset her and for a moment in her life seem like the end of the world, but when I pick her up or take her in she is happy and confident to play with her classmates and has piles of friends, she forgets the problem and moves on so I know not to trot off to teacher with it, if however she was withdrawn or upset continuously I would take it seriously.

If you are just starting your school journey - good luck - this part of having kids has been the hardest for me, you want to protect your little one's but equally want them to be able to stand on their own 2 feet to some degree. I also think that this term is a particularly difficult one for small kiddies, there is so much going on at school and they do tend to get a little overexcited and carried away.

19lottie82

Tell your son that if any of them bothers him again, to give them a smack in the face and they won't do it again.

meritaten

you were right to mention it to the teacher - I dont think that is over-reacting in any way. Then just keep a careful eye on the situation. Could be the kids were just 'acting out' something on tv. or they COULD be planning a career of extorting money with menaces!
I hope for your little ones sake it was a 'one off' play kind of situation.
Good luck
merit

WhiteHorse

Demands for money? "Destroy him"? Any child of this age behaving like this is a menace. Add to that the fact that he using Hearing Aids and you have a very ugly situation in the making. It needs to be stopped, so complain and follow it up in writing.

keith969

Agree with WhiteHorse. Every time anything happens, WRITE to the head about your concerns that your son is being bullied and give whatever detail you can Insist he deals with, and stops, the problem. If you feel he's not taking it seriously, raise it with the board of governers. Raise it with whoever you can in fact. If you feel able to, go talk to the mothers of these kids too - they may not be aware, if they are decent they will do something; of couse they may not be decent.

Bullying can start at any age and sadly it can end in suicide. Don't ask me how I know.