Going from 2 to 3

tigerstriper_2

Dh and I have two children aged 4 and 2 and have kept all of the baby things. We have decided to wait until the youngest starts school before deciding whether to try for a 3rd baby but I keep swinging between yes and no.

For those who went on to have 3 (or more) children, how was the change with finances, stress, rooms/space, routines, pnd, your body etc?

I'm really hoping for food for thought for the next year or so

kingfisherblue

I have three children. The oldest (my daughter) is 20, the two boys are 13 and soon to be 12 (this Wednesday). My 13 year old has severe disabilities, so stress levels can be high and I am constantly tired as I'm still up on average four times a night, every night.

Going back to when they were small, though, yes, it was tough at times, but my two youngest are very close in age. For me, it was hard watching my youngest overtake his brother on milestones, but I've got over that now. Finances weren't that different, as the only thing I had to buy was a double buggy and an extra cot. I didn't go for expensive stuff. My younger lad is a lot taller than his older brother, so whereas in most families, clothes can be passed from oldest to youngest, it is the other way round in my family :rotfl:.

My daughter has the box room and the two boys share - cabin beds with furniture underneath are fantastic! Don't buy lower price ones, though, they just don't last. I bought good quality ones from Dreams and paid an extra £50 each to have them put up - so much easier and quicker for me!

There are complaints that my car isn't big enough when all three have to sit in the back, but it is an ordinary five seater car. I could get round it by getting a seven seater, but I can't afford one. Theuy'll just have to snuggle up close :rotfl:

My body has never been the same, but I had an emergency Caesarian section with my second (scar from hip to hip). I've been left with a large pouch of skin that would take plastic surgery to remove .

Only you and your husband can decide what is best for your family, but I love all three of my children. It can be tough at times, especially as I have been on my own for nearly seven years, but I wouldn't change a thing. They fight and argue, they stick up for each other, they make a mess, they drive me round the bend at times. Life is never dull

ciderwithrosie_2

We've got 3 boys (grown up now) but the first 2 weren't planned and I got pregnant just like that, so there's 17 months between them and they're really close. Infact it was easy bringing up DS2 as he just copied his older brother. He walked at 9 months and virtually potty trained himself.

When DS2 was coming up to 18 months we decided to try for a 3rd, but it took me longer than I anticipated to get pregnant, so the gap between DS2 and DS3 is 3 years and 5 months and my oldest was nearly 5 - it's too big a gap, they've always liked different things and as they got older never included him in anything so I've always felt a bit guilty for DS3, he's always been his own man though and is thicker skinned and more extrovert than the older two. He was hard work though, he never slept through the night til he was 3. I did manage to breastfeed him the longest though, for 9 months.

I was a SAHM from when I had DS2 until DS3 was 4 years old. We didn't have a lot of money but managed somehow. We only have a 2 bed house so the boys have always had to share a room, they've never complained about it though as they've never known any different - 3 boys in one room though is certainly untidy!

mirrorimage0

i have 3 boys aged 12 9 and now 7 weeks. financially we had to spend out again because there is a big gap and needed all the baby stuff again. but i find when they are younger its easier to please and they dont want/need as much. with my older two as they get older the things they ask for for birthdays etc are more expensive but they have learnt to save/do chores etc for what they want.

we have bought a bigger car (7 seater) as we visit family a lot and take my nan/mum out and about and the boys have friends over regulary so for us it was easier/better

i find food shopping has got more expensive recently but plenty of budget shops around like aldis and lidls

sharing rooms at times can be fraught as the older boys argue now and again but what siblings dont.

sometimes its fun and games getting them to different clubs on different times and days, especially as they are at different schools now as well.

also with such a big gap, i did find the third pregnancy quite hard on my body( mind and soul lol)

i was
20 with number 1 pregnancy a breeze,
22 with number 2 pregnancy, just morning sickness and dizziness and
32 with number 3 completley ill the whole way through, so tired, sciatica and low iron with all 3
, all pregnancies were completly different yet i had 3 boys.
and juggling work, pregnancy and children is hard

i did find the last one extremely hard going, also ended up with an emergency c section and was told by midwife that im now classed as an older mum at the age of 32 lol (but yet im thinking about number 4)

bylromarha

3 friends found it a breeze going from 2 to 3. 2 of them have recently had number 4, so can't be that bad.

3 friends found it really difficult - the extra body just made everything that much harder for them and stretched them in many ways. I'd say they now struggle with life in a way they didn't with just 2.

What sort of person are you? What sort of couple are you? How will you cope? You can hear a mountain about others experiences, but only you know how you're doing with 2 and whether 3 will be a stretch or a happy addition.

All the best.

adamantine

everyone's experience is different but all of the people i know have said that after 2 kids the 3rd or subsequent children just slot in as you have a routine already and know what you are doing (mostly). they all said going from 1 to 2 harder than going from 2 to 3.

i plan on having 1 more one day. need to find a man first mind lol. but going from 1-2 was insanely easy as my kids were so easy going as babies i think ill get all the trouble with number 3 lol.

Nicki

We have 3, aged 11, 10 and 2 and love it so much we would actually like a fourth...

As you only have a choice of 2 sexes, provided one of the rooms is big enough for at least bunks you can have 2 same sex children sharing the room indefinitely, even in a 3 bedroom house. We upgraded to a 7 seater car to give us some flexibility but we very rarely use the back two seats. All 3 of ours fit comfortably in the back seat. I was one of 3 children myself before people carriers or 7 seaters were invented and it was quite normal to have 3 kids in the back of a largish family car then, albeit we didn't use car seats in those days.

Body/Healthwise - I had bad PND after the second but none at all after the first or third. I had c sections with 1 and 3, and it was slightly harder to recover from after 3, but still only took a couple of weeks to be back to normal. I got big quickly in my third pregnancy but the weight came off quite easily again afterwards as with the other 3, and I have been fitting into size 10 clothes easily for quite some time now. The third pregnancy was more physically demanding in terms of tiredness and back pain etc but not sure if this was because I was 8 years older than I had been when pregnant with number 2, or because there is less time to rest when you already have kids.

If in doubt though, I'd say no don't do it. Once you have the third one there is no going back if you find life too hard. If you are happy with two, why take the risk?

onlyroz

No, don't do it. By the time your youngest starts school you'll have got to the stage where you can leave the kids to it for a bit and have a lie-in at the weekend. You won't have to spend every second of the day with eyes in the back of your head, wondering if the baby is scribbling on the walls again or playing with the cleaning fluids. Two kids is wonderful. Three is just masochism. Enjoy the ones you've got, and feel smug that you're not contributing to the over-population problem.

*Louise*

We had 2 boys (7 and 1 at the time) when we decided to try for a third.

It wasn't easy, but you adapt and manage because you have to. It was slightly easier for me because the eldest was at primary school - looking back I wonder how I manged to get them all organised in the mornings but I don't remember it being all that bad actually.

Our biggest change after having DD was having to buy a bigger house, everything is more expensive, family trips etc. Never had any regrets about the decision

No more though.......and especially since the youngest goes to school next year, I couldn't go back to the baby stage again, it will be time to do something for me

Bumpmakesfour

onlyroz wrote: »

Two kids is wonderful. Three is just masochism. Enjoy the ones you've got, and feel smug that you're not contributing to the over-population problem.

Masochism?Wow that is extreme Just for the record it IS possible to enjoy three kids and we personally are now a few weeks away from number 4 arriving.There are annoying things like maybe needing a bigger car if they all need car seats,silly things like holidays/park tickets being 2 adults/2 kids.With 2 if you and hubby were out together it was do-able..with 3 you are definately outnumbered!
OP only you know if you want another,want to go back to that baby stage again.Good luck making the decision x

neverdespairgirl

tigerstriper wrote: »

Dh and I have two children aged 4 and 2 and have kept all of the baby things. We have decided to wait until the youngest starts school before deciding whether to try for a 3rd baby but I keep swinging between yes and no.

For those who went on to have 3 (or more) children, how was the change with finances, stress, rooms/space, routines, pnd, your body etc?

I'm really hoping for food for thought for the next year or so

I'm one of 4 - I'm the eldest. My sister is just under 2 years younger than me, then there's a gap of 4 years, then my other sister, 18 months, and my brother.

So when Bruv was born, I was 7, and my sisters were 5 and 1.

My mother said that for them, the decision was 2 or 4, not 2 or 3. Because they didn't want to have an older pair, and then a gap, then one on her own.

We did tend to do things in pairs growing up, too, because of the age range.