Do people not TALK to each other when they go out anymore??

Humphrey10

Why does what complete strangers are doing bother you so much?

If people are playing audible music I agree that's annoying, but I really don't see the problem if they are just reading or whatever.

Abbafan1972

I travel on public transport and I do have an Ipod, which is there so I can't here other people's loud and long phone conversations. I don't want to hear what they want for tea, what time they'll be home, where they are meeting for a drink on Friday, or about their latest argument with a family member.

Most people on the bus seem to have their heads in some gadget or other and when/if I ever dare to speak to someone (usually to ask them to move their bag/feet), I get the most unusual looks like i've got 2 heads or something!

Tropez

On public transport I'll always be listening to an MP3 player. I'm sorry, it may be rude, but I'm not interested in making friends with people that I meet on a train or whatever. There's always at least one person who has to have a phone conversation as loud as they possibly can, or is talking to their friend who insisted on sitting several seats apart and so are basically shouting throughout the carriage. And, who could forget the man I once saw on a train to Birmingham, on one of those fateful times I did not have an MP3 player, who was busy on his phone closing what you might have believed to be a multi-billion dollar deal... until his phone rang in his ear!

In restaurants, I don't know - I think there's a few factors. If you've travelled a long way to get to the restaurant perhaps you have already exhausted all the "interesting things that happened this week" topics for conversation on the journey there. Some people are also quite naturally reserved and don't feel comfortable communicating details of their personal lives in public and thus might not be all too eager to talk about events in their lives if they feel that someone might be eavesdropping.

When my partner and I go out I don't think we talk a lot but that's because we've usually filled each other in on what's been going on during the day or before we arrived. If I go to grab something to eat with a friend then usually there's a lot more chatter because we often haven't seen each other for a few weeks so there's more to catch up on. That isn't to say my partner and I sit in silence when we're at a restaurant but it isn't very chatty - in fact, I tend to find that she's a bit more formal in the way that she talks when she's out - conversation is usually about something that we need to do, like replace the washing machine or something - whereas at home I feel she relaxes a lot more and is a bit... sillier I guess.

As for Facebook/Twitter/Myspace... I can't be bothered with that.

Bumpmakesfour

Think some of you are missing my point tbh.There's a HUGE difference between sitting in companionable "silence" (or even an awkward one) and four family members sat absolutely ignoring each other with headphones/iPads etc etc.
I don't think it's rude to have your iPod on on a train,or your iPad or whatever but I DO think it's absolutely awful that some people become so utterly reliant/obsessed with technology/social networking sites etc that they start to neglect the "real world".
I'm sorry but I find it totally weird that anybody could find the scenario I initially posted about "normal"!

Humphrey10

Bumpmakesfour wrote: »

Think some of you are missing my point tbh.There's a HUGE difference between sitting in companionable "silence" (or even an awkward one) and four family members sat absolutely ignoring each other with headphones/iPads etc etc.

As I said, why does it bother you if you see a family doing this? They won't be involving you in their conversation either way.

Most families live together so have all the time in the world to talk to each other, when out in public for a meal is probably the least convenient time to talk - you can't talk about anything private as you are out in public, and you can't talk while you are eating/chewing stuff anyway. Yes it's a bit odd for them not to talk at all, but I don't see what's wrong with them not talking if they don't want to.

Tropez

Bumpmakesfour wrote: »

Think some of you are missing my point tbh.There's a HUGE difference between sitting in companionable "silence" (or even an awkward one) and four family members sat absolutely ignoring each other with headphones/iPads etc etc.
I don't think it's rude to have your iPod on on a train,or your iPad or whatever but I DO think it's absolutely awful that some people become so utterly reliant/obsessed with technology/social networking sites etc that they start to neglect the "real world".
I'm sorry but I find it totally weird that anybody could find the scenario I initially posted about "normal"!

But is it not possible to sit in a companiable silence but use some sort of gadget at the same time? Both my partner and I will use our phones or laptops at home when we're together, so is there that much of a difference doing it in a restaurant?

FunnySaving

Bumpmakesfour wrote: »

Think some of you are missing my point tbh.There's a HUGE difference between sitting in companionable "silence" (or even an awkward one) and four family members sat absolutely ignoring each other with headphones/iPads etc etc.
I don't think it's rude to have your iPod on on a train,or your iPad or whatever but I DO think it's absolutely awful that some people become so utterly reliant/obsessed with technology/social networking sites etc that they start to neglect the "real world".
I'm sorry but I find it totally weird that anybody could find the scenario I initially posted about "normal"!

Bumpmakesfour wrote: »

Hubby and I also had a very rare night out last week and we went to a lovely little italian.We're chatterboxes and best friends anyway so there's rarely a quiet moment but we looked around and both noticed several couples who sat,ordered,ate and exchanged so few words,then immediately left...in the time it had taken us to order and eat our starters.

I think this is the part that people might be responding to - there's nothing wrong with a couple enjoying a meal out together without having to feel as though their lack of conversation makes them inferior in some way to those who are chatting away.

Bumpmakesfour

Tropez wrote: »

But is it not possible to sit in a companiable silence but use some sort of gadget at the same time? Both my partner and I will use our phones or laptops at home when we're together, so is there that much of a difference doing it in a restaurant?

Honestly? Well yes I do think there's a difference:o Who knows?Maybe I'm the odd one here but we treat going out as a social occasion and to enjoy each others company.Why would you go out and spend 50/100 quid whatever and not exchange a word,barely taste your food because you're busily updating FB,sit with headphones in in your own little world and not take in your surroundings?I just do not get it!!

Tropez

Bumpmakesfour wrote: »

Honestly? Well yes I do think there's a difference:o Who knows?Maybe I'm the odd one here but we treat going out as a social occasion and to enjoy each others company.Why would you go out and spend 50/100 quid whatever and not exchange a word,barely taste your food because you're busily updating FB,sit with headphones in in your own little world and not take in your surroundings?I just do not get it!!

Ah, well there's an immediate difference in our respective attitudes to restaurants.

When my partner and I go to a restaurant it is because we know we'll be going out that day to do something else and neither of us will feel much like cooking once we're done, so we go to a restaurant to get someone else to do it for us.

We don't treat the restaurant as a special occasion; instead, we treat it as something that just makes things a little easier on us both for that particular day and it is always something that goes "on top" of whatever else we've been doing that day.

Now sure, neither of us tend to sit there listening to music, but I wouldn't begrudge her checking her emails, or even responding to them (as she does have to answer a lot of work related emails, even on her days off) just as I would expect she wouldn't begrudge me doing one or two things while we wait. We've spent the day together as it is.

And I'm sure we're not the only ones who treat restaurants that way.

Humphrey10

Exactly. A restaurant is somewhere where I go when I can't be bothered to cook. It's not a special occasion, it's a normal day to day thing. I don't see any reason to spend time 'taking in my surroundings' at a cheap restaurant (as a spend of £50-£100 for the whole group, not per head, was mentioned, I assume it's cheap restaurants we are talking about not the likes of The Fat Duck etc).