A new 'tougher' thread... and so it continues

rinabean

Catbells wrote: »

gailey - I read about some woman who had not revealed the gender of her child until the child was 6 or 7 years old. I didn't understand why she thought it wasn't important to have a gender identity. Its part of who we are ie knowing our sexuality - surely. Open to any persuasive arguments on this one.

It's exactly like sexuality, yes. It's private and it's something which comes from within and shouldn't be pressured from the outside. Telling your child they are "male" or "female" and should do "male" or "female" things is like telling them they are straight or gay. Most male-bodied children will grow up to think of themselves as men, and most will be attracted to women only. But that's not the one correct way and everything else is unnatural, that's just the most typical way. And just like sexuality, it's okay to say to your small daughter "one day, when you have a husband..." and so on, as long as you remain open to the possibility that that's the last thing she'd ever want - and remain open to the possibility that, not only might she not be a "girly-girl", she might not even want to be referred to as "she". Uncommon, but perfectly normal. What those parents did was just try to make sure no-one interfered with this natural process, as people will gender children and treat them differently. I would not have the patience - or the spine - but I understand why they did it.


Happy belated birthday, gardenia I didn't think I'd hear from someone else whose mother forgets their birthdays. You'd think if anyone had a reason to remember, it'd be them, right? :undecided I'm sure your friends will be mortified when they realise they've forgotten. Why not invite them out?

EstherH

Sending hugs to you GARDENIA and a belated happy birthday.

KIDKAT I would hate for my parents to have looked after my kids when it was my birthday. Even now we do something together as a family when it is any of our birthdays. Mind you, I don't have all the problems which you have, and I can see that it would do you good to have a weekend to yourself. You have so much to put up with. So many of you on here have so many more troubles than I do and I know I am really blessed and do thank the Lord for those blessings. That's not to say that everything is wonderful and I do have long term health and mobility problems and disabilities.

MEME: does your OH take thyroxin? Doesn't that just put the thyroid back to normal level? I am on thyroxin and have been for years. I assumed that taking thyroxin meant that in effect you no longer had the under active thyroid. My symptoms from that though are or we're disguised by other problems that I have.

GAILEY: Good to see you back. I have missed your posts.

Right, off to do something useful instead of sitting here on t'internet.

Have a good day everyone.

Esther x

ifonlyitwaseasier

Gardenia
Happy Belated birthday (and enjoy the stolen from scrabbles cake;) )

:bdaycake:
Happy Birthday to You
Happy Birthday to You
Happy Birthday Darling Gardenia
Happy Birthday Toooooo Yeeeeeeeeew!!!!
:bdaycake:

:beer: :T :j :kisses3: _party_ :grouphug: :beer:

Catbells

mardatha wrote: »

Catbells the rad up in the loft must be in the wrong place, too far from the pipes. We went down to -19 last winter and minus 18 the year before, and we have never had frozen pipes. We have a wee old convector heater (from gumtree) up in the loft and we switched it on at low for a couple of hours at night time and in the morning. It's right beside the pipes.

Thanks mardatha. Just got back from a bit of escapism from the frozen pipe - cuppa teas with me mates and wter still not on. Friends all said to do this and that to locate said problem. Turn off the mains water was the one thing I remember so will do that now. And then what I really dont know. I suspect it might be a frozen in-pipe at kitchen level from the mains but worse case scenario might be loft related. Agh.... I hate the loft. My neighbour said they would pop over to see where the prob is. Meanwhile I;'m going to have a bite to eat. Burying my head in the sand isn't going to help I know. :eek:

Fervent37

gardenia101 wrote: »

Morning All

Not been around for a few days as I've been feeling a litte sorry for myself, & am continuing to struggle a bit (but also feeling that I need a good kick up the behind for being so pathetic).

Yesterday was my birthday (43) & very few people remembered . My ex OH always gets me a small gift "from" our 2 children, which is lovely, & he can't forget as its also his b'day which doesn't help. While I don't want him to have a miserable b'day & am glad he had something nice planned, it also reminds me that his life is "fun" (can't think of a better word) wheras mine isn't a lot of the time.

My mother remembered this year (& she has forgotten in previous years :huh:). This time she has sent me a pair of minute earrings & last year she sent me a magazine subscription - while these might sound lovely, she "forgets" that I'm partially sighted so I can't read the darn mags & I've already lost an earring :rotfl:. And no, she isn't senile as she can remember every single unpleasant word that anyone has ever said to her & spends her time telling me how this person did this or that to her & how she thinks its awful. I wont elaborate - suffice to say I feel she just interested enough in me to even remember my sight problems, or ever ask how I am.

I have 2 good friends, both of whom have busy families, so I'm sure they have just forgotten & will feel quite bad if they realise how hurt I feel.

Other than that (& a email from MSE thanks :money:) the day passed without any other contact from anyone. I had thought about going for a nice coffee & cake, but we had some snow & I didn't want to risk not being able to get back for the school run if the weather & buses worsened. So I stayed at home & pottered. Coffee would have been nice, but I am a little fed up of always doing it on my own.

Anyway, enough of me mithering as I know some of you are having a much worse time of it than me, so hugs to all of you. I think I'd like to move my birthday, as its too near to Valentines Day for me - I'm already feeling a little low & usually have a wobble on V Day as its another reminder that I'm another year older & still on my own.

Sorry for the rant....

.... for yesterday gardenia101 Hope you have a better day today.

D&DD

Here's a special birthday flower just for you Gardenia
I have no clue about flowers so hope its the right one hope you have a better day today X

Just been cutting out a fleece pattern for a hoody for youngest it's been years since I've used a paper pattern..remember why now what a faff,didn't help Rosie was trying to sit in the middle of the page to help :rotfl:

Got so much I want to bake,sew,knit etc don't know where to start,need to make a plan and try to stick to it

Smiley glad Bruno is sorted

meme30

EstherH wrote: »

Sending hugs to you GARDENIA and a belated happy birthday.

KIDKAT I would hate for my parents to have looked after my kids when it was my birthday. Even now we do something together as a family when it is any of our birthdays. Mind you, I don't have all the problems which you have, and I can see that it would do you good to have a weekend to yourself. You have so much to put up with. So many of you on here have so many more troubles than I do and I know I am really blessed and do thank the Lord for those blessings. That's not to say that everything is wonderful and I do have long term health and mobility problems and disabilities.

MEME: does your OH take thyroxin? Doesn't that just put the thyroid back to normal level? I am on thyroxin and have been for years. I assumed that taking thyroxin meant that in effect you no longer had the under active thyroid. My symptoms from that though are or we're disguised by other problems that I have.

GAILEY: Good to see you back. I have missed your posts.

Right, off to do something useful instead of sitting here on t'internet.

Have a good day everyone.

Esther x

Yes he takes thyroxine. His under active thyroid still produces symptoms of feeling cold all the time, loss of outside of eyebrows! (which we had not noticed :rotfl:) and inability to lose weight. I don't think he is aware of how much colder he feels than I do.

VJsmum

rinabean wrote: »

It's exactly like sexuality, yes. It's private and it's something which comes from within and shouldn't be pressured from the outside. Telling your child they are "male" or "female" and should do "male" or "female" things is like telling them they are straight or gay. Most male-bodied children will grow up to think of themselves as men, and most will be attracted to women only. But that's not the one correct way and everything else is unnatural, that's just the most typical way. And just like sexuality, it's okay to say to your small daughter "one day, when you have a husband..." and so on, as long as you remain open to the possibility that that's the last thing she'd ever want - and remain open to the possibility that, not only might she not be a "girly-girl", she might not even want to be referred to as "she". Uncommon, but perfectly normal. What those parents did was just try to make sure no-one interfered with this natural process, as people will gender children and treat them differently. I would not have the patience - or the spine - but I understand why they did it.


Happy belated birthday, gardenia I didn't think I'd hear from someone else whose mother forgets their birthdays. You'd think if anyone had a reason to remember, it'd be them, right? :undecided I'm sure your friends will be mortified when they realise they've forgotten. Why not invite them out?

Happy birthday for yesterday, Gardenia.

The gender / sexuality debate is interesting. One of our best friends, and DD's godfather, is gay. We knew him for a long time without realising, then we knew him for a few years when we wished he would just tell us. Once he told us it was a massive relief and we just said "at last!!". He was a little taken aback . My DD is chuffed to bits to have him as her godfather and absolutely adores him and his partner. My DS is at the teenage boy "everything is gay" stage, but loves them both too. When DS was little he would dress up in DD's fairy princess type outfits, but we think it was because when she put them on we would tell her how pretty she looked and he wanted similar attention. OH was a little concerned (much to my surprise!) but we just gave him lots of attention in other ways and ignored the dresses. He soon stopped.

Occasionally DS would joke and say "I'm gay" in an effeminate manner. I don't think it is trying to tell us something - it is much more to try to wind us up. He stopped once he realised we weren't in the slightest bit bothered and I said "great let's go shopping" - he wasn't having any of that :rotfl: Both my kids know that we couldn't give a monkeys about their sexuality, and that our friend was so much happier once he came out.

OH and I went for a lovely walk over the fields this morning in the warmish sunshine. Heard a woodpecker, but didn't see it. We have friends for dinner tonight - whoopsied sausage casserole. And Aldi "super six" lemons in lemon meringue pie.

Byatt

Happy Birthday Gardenia :T:kisses3::A

Now make a wish and blow the candles out! xx

iris

meme30 wrote: »

I have to nip out to get a sympathy card for my Auntie, my uncle died yesterday. not close to them but he was only 64 so it was a shock! Just realised he was only 11 years older than me! Crikey! am older than I realised! :eek:

Why not be OS and send a free one as per Martin's tip (it doesn't have to be a Valentine card;)