seperation time, who leave the house?

tentickles666

if both are on the mortgage, both want to stay but cant live with the other, how is it decided who goes?

Plans_all_plans

Are children involved? If so, who is the primary carer? Are they married? How long for?

If you're not married and have no children, then selling the place and splitting the proceeds seems the most sensible thing to do.

dirtysexymonkey

morally - the one who wants to split up.
realistically - the one who can't afford to stay.
legally - neither. unless there are kids involved and then only if either can afford it.

so basically whoever can afford to stay. and if neither then its sold and the proceeds split.

NAR

helenathena wrote: »

if both are on the mortgage, both want to stay but cant live with the other, how is it decided who goes?

One kills the other! :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

HappyMJ

And if both can afford to stay then it's whoever accepts the offer from the other person first. Most people when leaving want the property to be valued very high but if they want to stay they want a low valuation. You both want to stay so the offer either of you make to the other should be around the actual valuation anyway.

i.e you think the property is worth £100,000 less £80,000 mortgage. You offer £10,000 but they think it's now worth £95,000 less the £80,000 mortgage so they offer you £7,500. Sensibly if they think it's undervalued they should accept the £10,000 as a good offer and leave.

JMHB

Doesn't anybody decide by who did ALL the decorating and chose ALL the furniture? That's how 'we' decided... well at least that's how my exH did anyway. (And not that he did do all the decorating either, though he did choose most of the decor and furniture. It is true to say I did have little say in it.)

It is something I've wondered actually as to how it is decided. During our 15 year marriage whenever he talked about divorce he always told me he'd keep the house and our son "because the law was on the side of the mother" !!! ??? I would suggest on many occasions that I believed the law to be on the side of the child and that I, as the mother, would never stop him seeing our son.

We separated this summer because I felt our son was old enough to decide for himself (13) and he lives between us both (4-5 nights a week with me and 2-3 with his dad). When it came to it exH still thought he had more right to the house because, as he told me, he could get a larger mortgage than me to buy me out. As it happens he can't in reality. He then offered me the house on condition I gave up all rights to our son. I didn't take him up and said if he couldn't buy me out we should sell.

The current situation is that me and my son live in a 2 bed rented flat while exH lives in the family home. He is, however, in the process of buying me out.

As to deciding who keeps it according to who did ALL (!!) the decorating might not be the answer the OP wants... But certainly once you've decided you are separating someone's got to give unless you go down the route of both living in the house separately.

Lots of luck however it is decided x

tentickles666

NAR wrote: »

One kills the other! :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

that is actually on my list of potential answers :rotfl:

tentickles666

so there is no real clear cut answer i guess, i didnt think there was, but thanks for replying anyway
x

mgdavid

if you can't agree amicably, then go to Mediation. Neither should move out until an agreement is signed and sealed.

Flearoy

Sort it out yourselves or lawyers will charge you a fortune for doing the same thing more slowly.

Ravenlady_2

Who ever can change the locks and pack the others stuff up the quickest and lay it out on the lawn.

Illegal, yes. Does it work, 9 times out of 10 yes it does because the police will view it as domestic and a civil case and probably wont bother turning up to it so getting a solicitor is usually the only way to regain access *(or big bloke with sledge hammer)