Just wondering how you deal with....emotions..

antonic

I was lucky as I avoided an IVA/BR instead I entered a DMP with PayPlan which was originally 87 months but is now 84/85 months.

I now have 12/13 months to go and am looking forward to the end.

When I started it in Dec 2005 I told my family, who where (and still are) incredibly supportive and also told my friends at work who started to ask why I was no longer going out socializing with them and I didnt want to lie.

The hardest part is to realize you have a debt problem, once you get over that hurdle life certainly isnt easier BUT its much easier to cope with debt.

Dont dwell on the past focus on your debt free future.

Maizy

The replies here have proved really useful for me and so thanks again.

I was close to breaking down in work yesterday as i heard about the warrant for my old home, the home that I didnt want to keep due to financial pressure but of course memories many of which were happy of my darling children running around, parties, just home I suppose, it was only the last year there that really felt like we were trapped and pushed to our limits working all hours opposite ends just to have spare cash for a small holiday, nothing seemed to come easy. I dont expect life to be easy but it would be nice not to have to do overtime or work opposite ends of the day just to have anything in life. Rarely able to replace clothes, everything going on the kids and almost neglecting ourselves. In saying that though we have mainly talked about money, sat working figures out for a long time, entering a dmp which was never going to work for us as it spanned over 20 years when the payment got reduced. I most definitely cannot question whether we have made the right decision that is for sure.

I get what you say Mandrake about the lost years how it all comes flooding back the guilt, the feelings, everything and i do hope you overcome things in time and shake any feelings you have about how you came here. Just remember you are not alone and many of us, there are different aspects of life which led us to this point.

We have to weigh up how things would have been carrying on, or look at how we can recover by closing the door on ALL debt and starting afresh. I know which i prefer but even so its been tough and is still tough and now I have to face the music with people. Ive found it harder to talk to close family/friends than I have the odd person Im close to at work who have been amazingly understanding in more ways than one.

I think it was Vickypollard that mentioned something about self esteem being hoovered Ive never had anything made me feel like this. At the same time we still feel amazing relief knowing that it will all be over soon and we can start to rebuild and reclaim ourselves, I know this is only part of the process and it has to come good/better in time.

Seems most BRs keep quiet and feel ashamed, I wish I could turn that one around and stick two fingers up at the world whilst going through this as this is our life only, but things are never that simple. People ask questions, friends want to know, are concerned, lies are no good in the long run.

Ineedaname

Mandrake - when I mentioned grieving for the life you have lost, I was referring to the life recently lived. But you are absolutely right in that there is also grief for the life that could have been lived - if only. I missed that one! Time does heal though and the only way is forward.:D