Send teenager 400 miles to Oxbridge interview by herself ?

cannyscot_2

My DD is 16 and 11 months. She has an Oxbridge interview early December.

Moneywise we are a bit strapped so my train/flight cost plus my accomodation and I have other children and work so I would have to take 2 days out to go with her.

If I send her from Bonny Scotland herself she could fly down /get a train to the city and then taxi -her accomodation and food are paid for by the uni.

She originally wanted me to go but when I worked it out I would need accomodation -SYA is only £10 a night in a dorm -but Id be a couple miles from her and then she said she would rather fly (so she can get there and befresh) -the cheap train tixs are £43 for 2 whereas flights and train are about £43 a person.

She is saying yes fine then but I dont think she really wants to go herself. Part of me thinks she shouldbe independant -but is 16 nearly 17 too soon? Plus will it unnerve her and she will not do well?

Is it taking moneysaving too far? We are living off credit cards at the mo and it is making me feel tight! and anxious!

j19842

IF she's a mature 16/17 YO, let her do it. It will help her development and independence

onlyroz

Certainly - I went to most of my uni interviews on my own. If she can't handle this then that surely questions whether she is up to going away to Uni at all.

MX5huggy

As she is happy to go send her, if she can't cope then its unlikely she would cope in a years time with being there for 3 months.

lostinrates

cannyscot wrote: »

My DD is 16 and 11 months. She has an Oxbridge interview early December.

Moneywise we are a bit strapped so my train/flight cost plus my accomodation and I have other children and work so I would have to take 2 days out to go with her.

If I send her from Bonny Scotland herself she could fly down /get a train to the city and then taxi -her accomodation and food are paid for by the uni.

She originally wanted me to go but when I worked it out I would need accomodation -SYA is only £10 a night in a dorm -but Id be a couple miles from her and then she said she would rather fly (so she can get there and befresh) -the cheap train tixs are £43 for 2 whereas flights and train are about £43 a person.

She is saying yes fine then but I dont think she really wants to go herself. Part of me thinks she shouldbe independant -but is 16 nearly 17 too soon? Plus will it unnerve her and she will not do well?

Is it taking moneysaving too far? We are living off credit cards at the mo and it is making me feel tight! and anxious!

dh went by himself from another country, but was a year older.

kiss_me_now9

Which one is she going to? I wouldn't have a problem sending her to Cambridge as it's a lovely town but Oxford is very touristy and can be hard to navigate. Make sure she knows exactly where she's going and she'll be fine!

Acc72

MX5huggy wrote: »

As she is happy to go send her, if she can't cope then its unlikely she would cope in a years time with being there for 3 months.

To be fair, a person can grow in maturity quite a lot between 16 and 18.

The daughter may just be nervous - particularly if she isn't used to going places / holdays etc. without her family.

KateBob

I did alot of travelling around looking at universities by train at the same age (coventry, bangor, edinburgh, stirling ....).

It's a good life lesson for her and she may enjoy the independence and trust.

She's going to to out in the world soon and she needs to be prepared.

puddy

cant you compromise and you get the train, she gets a flight and you meet her there, stay one night and go back the same way again?

then she does the journey alone but has you there for moral support

Any

Definitely not too soon.

thorsoak

If she gets into Oxford, then she isn't going to have you there to hold her hand, is she - and we are only talking about another 9 months or so?

Is there anyone else from her school/college - town even - who is going at the same time?

Let her go with all the confidence you can muster - if she thinks YOU think she can do it, she'll be fine!