Moving in with girlfriend..

BitterAndTwisted

If your g/f expects you to pay rent to share a house she owns outright I would consider that a slightly exploitative arrangement, to put it mildly. Offer to pay half of the utility bills, half of the Council Tax and half of the grocery-shopping. This should leave you with plenty of cash to save up for a deposit on your own property if that's what you want to do.

BigAunty

What exactly gives you the impression that your girlfriend will charge you some kind of commercial level rent for a property where she doesn't have any mortgage expenses whatsoever? Is it her attitude to money that leads you to think this or something she has said?

We really can't second guess her intentions on this forum - you have to have a chat to find out her plans and negotiate something you are both happy with.

I still don't understand how you earn £1350 net and have a belief that you won't be able to save more than a few quid if you move in with her?! Sure, you won't be able to get away with the sum you pay your parents...

Exstra

BigAunty wrote: »

What exactly gives you the impression that your girlfriend will charge you some kind of commercial level rent for a property where she doesn't have any mortgage expenses whatsoever? Is it her attitude to money that leads you to think this or something she has said?

I think it is more her mum telling her to do this. Her mother doesn't want her "being taken advantage of" however I didn't propose it. Her mother is very cautious of me for some reason, guess it's her just being protective. By the sounds of it her mum has told her, I'd have to pay rent anywhere else therefore I should give her rent.

Thanks everyone for honest and helpful comments. I think I need to really think things through and go further into talking about it. Lots of the comments here have really helped.

BigAunty

Maybe Mum is worried that you would have a claim on the property, that you have an interest in it.

In which case, the answer isn't to charge you heaps of rent (because this would perhaps actually provide evidence that you contributed more than just the running costs to the household).

Perhaps the solution to offer to get a Deed set up with a solicitor where you actively renounce having a claim on it. Not sure of the validity or process for this. Perhaps other members can provide clearer info on this. That way you show you aren't a gold digger.

But it's a shame your mother in law is trying to influence the outcome, I guess that's what they do. Mine has never butted in our living arrangements and finances.


Paying 50% of the bills which may amount to £300 to £400 per month sounds fair to me, and especially fair considering that there is no mortgage on it.Or perhaps 65% of the bills, since you earn a third more than your gf, so at least it's proportional. With a previous partner, we each put 50% of our net wages into the mortgage and bills so that the lower earner didn't lose so much disposable income and both of us thought this was a great way to structure our household income/expenses.

You would have to pay rent elsewhere, your living costs would be higher, but you don't have a commercial relationship with your partner so market value considerations are not relevant. It's usually down to what the couple agree to and are happy with so there's all sorts of different arrangements in place.

Plans_all_plans

My sister recently moved in with her b/f who was lucky enough to be able to buy his place outright. She pays half the bills only and nothing else, except one week she does the shopping, one week he does it.

Initially he asked her to pay rent, but I told her he was taking the mick so she said she'd rather stay where she was. Then he changed his mind on the rent part of it and they came to the current arrangement.

Personally, I would no way move in with her if she expects you to pay rent when she has no mortgage. Half the bills is fair, but no more.

hyposmurf

As the others have said splitting the bills is fair enough, but trying to make money out of you, via the rent is pretty cheeky.If there was a mortgage to pay then fair enough,but there is not.As much as you think you might be heping her out paying the rent as you'd be charged it renting elsewhere,what happens if you split up?Im sure youd be miffed that youd been paying that and it couldve gone towards a deposit for your new place.

tanith

I can see where her Mum is coming from although don't agree you should pay what would be a commercial rent for living there.. its a difficult one maybe if you offered something towards living there Mum would see that as a sign of your good intent.

Peater

Suggest that you split the bills and living costs 50:50, you paying her in cash or via BACS. That way, you cannot be seen as 'contributing' to the household thus removing your right to claim against her should things go south. Hopefully this should allay her mother's concerns.

As everyone has said, if she was paying a mortgage/rent then fine. But as she isn't, she shouldn't be treat your relationship as a commercial enterprise. If she wants to earn extra money through renting charging rent, she should get a lodger!

I sort of understand what her mother is saying about 'You would be paying rent elsewhere anyway', but she obviously fails to see that the same applies to her daughter!!!