separate bedrooms

Lotus-eater

onlyroz wrote: »

To be honest, I do think that separate bedrooms is the beginning of the end as far as sex goes. My dad told me about 10 years ago that he hadn't had sex in years, but I'm sure he finds other ways to amuze himself :eek:

Golf, flying model aeroplanes?

onlyroz

Lotus-eater wrote: »

Golf, flying model aeroplanes?

One can hope...

Any

onlyroz wrote: »

To be honest, I do think that separate bedrooms is the beginning of the end as far as sex goes. My dad told me about 10 years ago that he hadn't had sex in years, but I'm sure he finds other ways to amuze himself :eek:

I don't know... After a night WITH my OH together and all the snoring, farthing, scratching and turning I find him the least attractive person ever... Probably because I am tired and in no mood anyway.

mumcoll

We slept in separate rooms when we were first married (due to OH's sleep problems). When I said I was having my second baby, my Mum said 'I thought you slept in separate rooms' - Obviously had no imagination!

30 years on, I'm just decorating a spare room for myself that I can use when I want. I love sleeping in my own space.

evespikey

I think as long as you are close in other ways/at other times then separate bedrooms can be a great thing for a marriage. There's a room you can go for girly time and he can have a 'man cave' should he wish to. We only have one bedroom atm but when we move we'll have lots spare and I'm looking forward to that. It's just nice to have the option should one of you get a cold (where, let's face it, most of us snore mildly), insommnia, want to read late at night, have work early...there are loads of reasons but as long as you are close at other times I don't see it as a bad thing at all.
Another reason is that if you have kids, you don't want to be forced out of your bed because you can't sleep, only to sleep with your child/take over your child's bed/not give your child any space...my mother did this with my younger sis and once a week turned into every day for many years...it's surprising how quickly it escalates and in this case it was not beneficial on the child.

Mimi09

yep - separate rooms here as i'm such a light sleeper since the children were born. I'm early to bed early to rise, OH is night owl....amazing we have kids at all really:)

Amara

My parents sleep separetely, for the same reason , OP. Dad's snoring is horrible. Still, happily married nearly 40 years.

busiscoming2

My in laws have separate bedrooms because he snores VERY loudly.

My DH snores sometimes very loudly and I get up in the night and go to the spare room to sleep. If he isn't snoring too much, (it's more the vibration through the matress) then I turn round and sleep top to tail with him.

digitalphase

Yes, we do, and it's the best thing ever

It started with OH's nose/loud breathing/snoring/twitching etc. Luckily he won't fart in bed with me, but he always ran out the room to do it :rotfl:

He does all this, and I am a light sleeper, and have a lot of pain in my back/shoulder/neck and still some pelvic pain after having my baby, so it's hard enough for me to get to sleep anyway. He goes to bed early to start work early, and often works on a Saturday morning. I like to go to bed later, and would only disturb him coming to bed, and he'd disturb me getting up.

Like some others have said - nothing else makes me come close to killing someone like lack of sleep does :rotfl: I'm afraid I am quite appalling if I haven't had my 8-9 hours quota, and am not a nice person to be around at all :cool:

We have a fantastic relationship, still find time to 'share the bed' if you know what I mean, and will sleep together at weekends if we go to bed/get up at the same time.

It may be seen as something old people do, but for us, it means we aren't snappy with each other due to lack of sleep, aren't in a mood with the world, and are both able to function. Plus I don't have to put up with farts in the bed ever, get the bed all to myself, can read before bed, can fidget as much as I want etc etc etc. In fact the only positive I can think of from sleeping in the same bed would be the warmth and intimacy. Trouble is my OH is a like a furnace so I get really hot.... Plus morning breath isn't exactly nice...

Having separate beds does NOT equate to no sex... We don't have time to do it every day, but we do still do it, and are affectionate in other ways

Gazing_On_Sunsets

Yup, since we got married. I am such a light sleeper I can't sleep if a spider farts. He feels guilty in case he snores so he ends up trying to stay awake - this is not good for either of us! I also want to sleep earlier than him, and he likes to read. So we snuggle up at night - he wamrs my bed up - then slides off to his bed. In the morning at weekends one of us will surprise the other.

It's the old aristocratic way - only the poor couldn't afford their own beds, and it was warmer to sleep together back then.

Personally it's quite romantic to think about midnight assignations and creeping down corridors...

I feel awkward if people know though, as I worry they'll make assumptions about our relationship. It's also very awkward when we go away or stay with friends, as we're so unused to sleeping in the same bed we stay awake all night and end up foul and grumpy the whole next day.