Asking my dh to clear me debts

mrsmortenharket

First off, a bit of history.

When DH & I met neither of us had any money.

Then Dh got a job in the Middle East. He saved & we lived off my money when I had temp jobs. His when I didn't. Saved most of his salary every month while out there.

Came home when PG with my DD (now 7). Put a nice deposit down on the house.

Then had DS.

I suffer with depression & although not an excuse I ran up a credit card bill. Quite large DH gave me money each month. He paid the bills. But I did not budget whatsoever.

Ti cut a long story short, my present debts are in my sig.

DH was made redundant in early Dec. He has a new (& fab paid) job starting on Feb 5th.

He got a Very Big redundancy pay out & his shares are being processed atm. I think he will have at least £40,000.

Do you think its fair if I ask him to clear me debts?

PArt of me thinks, I ran them up, I was stupid, I didn't budget.

but then I think OH MY GOD, look at how much money he has & he will have only gone 2 months without a salary.

Oh he also had a bout £3,000 savings before he was made redundant.

All opinions will be taken on board!

thanks

Lisa

tiff

In our house everything is joint, I wouldnt want my OH incurring interest charges if I was able to pay the debt off in full. The trouble is, would you end up in the same situation again?

raq

you could try, If this is the figure then it's small compared it what money will be coming his way.

What's the old saying.... What's his is mine....

immoral_angeluk

I would never ask my Dh to clear my debts. I was the one who ran them up and couldn't expect anyone to bail me out.
In our house we've got an agreement that we're clearing all of OUR debts, which means we're working as a team to clear both dh and my debts through saving etc and tackling one at a time. We're doing it together but I could never just go up to him if he had the money and say 'Can you pay off my debts please?'. I'd feel it was incredibly cheeky and avoiding my responsibilities.

mrsmortenharket

Tiff, I wouldn't run them up again. Don't have any credit cards aymore.

Immoral, thats how I feel, cheeky & avoiding my responsibilities. I just want a clean slate iyswim & I am almost jealous that he has the money. Naughty I know. (hope your baby comes soon!)

Lisa

bananakinz

Does he know about these debts?

Red_Fraggle_3

Can he pay them off and you pay him back so much a month - that way the interest is gone - having always been and still is the person who pays for evrything i would appreciate (not that I am on loads but just am a saver) someone making the effort - am getting to the point where i may stop helping

mizmir

Don't think it would even be a question here - we pool all our resources - all income (and all debt!) is considered joint - even if only one name is on the bill/cheque.

I think it really depends on how you both view your money - it is separate or shared? Given the relatively small amount of debt (in comparison to the redundancy amount) I would've thought it would make sense to clear it all and start afresh - but I guess it depends on your husband. Does he know about your debt? Might he offer to pay it?

mrsmortenharket

yes he does bananakinz.

Lisa

bananakinz

I think I would wait for him to offer to clear the debt then and then you offer to pay him back.

Does he/ you have plans as to what to spend the money on?

mrsmortenharket

thanks for all the replies! They are quick!

He did offer to pay them off a few weeks ago & being 'moral' I said no!

He wants to buy a car as he will lose the company one at the end of Feb. We will trade mine in & the one he has seen costs just under £20,000 :eek:

He does have the money.

I think he used to think of money as seperate. Which was very hard after I'd had the 1st baby cos I had absolutly no income, no way of getting a job as we live nowhere near family & at the time I didn't drive. Now he is realising its both our money although bank accounts are seperate. He does know the state of my bank accounts.

he was in the dark about the credit card bill (now the cahoot loan) at 1st.

it is only recently I have been able to be open about money.

I used to feel that e verything was his as he earned all the money. I stil do to an extent, even though the children are ours, lol!

Lisa