why is house buying so hellish?

theartfullodger

thelovelygirl wrote: »

Right - for a start I do have mental health and physical health problems and we made the estate agent aware of them in the beginning and our solicitor - I can't go to work as I am unsafe to be there I have being having so many seizures - health and safety says NO - so not being irresponsible at all. I went from being in a good place with my mental health to crying uncontrollably yesterday and now back seeing the hospital.

It is evidenced that people commit suicide over buying house it is right up there with divorce and christmas - which is truly sad

We would not have entered in the sale if we had not been assured that the son who is selling the house wanted it done quickly - yet it has been him not communicating that is causing all the hassle.

I had wanted to buy a house for a long time and waited till I thought we would cope with it - if we ever go through the process again I think auction will be the way forward

this is a really judgemental and not particularly supportive forum and i don't really see the point of it all.....

Just think how stressful being, say, homeless and without help or resources would be compared with being able to buy a home yourself..

Given you are purchasing a property you are, I assume, as I am, hugely blessed with advantages, not least financial, and I've no doubt you are massively grateful for your good fortune.. (as I am...)..

It's cold out there on a park bench as well btw...

Cheers!

Artful

Jennifer_Jane

thelovelygirl wrote: »

I really don't understand why it has to be so fraught and stressful - why can't sellers answer simple enquiries without weeks going by -why can't solicitors talk to each other - we have still not exchanged two weeks after we were hoping to and we are hoping to complete next friday! I have had to take sick leave I am so stressed with it all - I even phoned up the sellers solicitors and cried down the phone at them to beg them to sort whatever it was they needed to do.... this should have been a simple purchase - FTB empty house - owners in care home need money for fees was told they want a quick sale 11 weeks later after having everything our side done in under 6 weeks and i am definitely going bonkers with it all - I can definitely see how people commit sucide over it - surely there has to be an easier way????

Fingers crossed we exchange on monday and complete friday

You are completely correct. The system in England is absolutely hellish and people in other countries (I only know about South Africa, Australia, Sweden) just don't have to go through the whole thing that happens here. It's so stressful that after two of the chains below me fell through, I felt I couldn't put my house on the market for a good long time. The thought of doing it again fills me with dread (and I have to tell you that I'm mentally extremely strong and self-sufficient, and have been through a lot in my life - this house transaction stuff IS way up with various difficulties I've had.

In South Africa your house will be 'open' on a Sunday and people will come round and view. Some will be interested in house-buying, some just curious, it's irrelevant. You go out for the day and an estate agent sits there.

You will probably get an offer made within a day or two, or perhaps there will be another open house, but when you get your buyer a form is signed that your buyer will buy your house 'subject to' whatever - mortgage or whatever. You will both sign this, and the buyer will put down a deposit with your estate agent (but this form is binding). So you know your house is being sold. If the house sale falls through at this stage, the estate agent will also want to be paid as they've done their introduction. But I've never heard of a house sale falling through, quite frankly! This results in fewer chains which are the key reason for house sales falling through.

All the bits and pieces progress with solicitors etc and a date is agreed for your buyer to move in. If this is not the completion date, ie earlier, an 'occupational rent' will be charged, and this forms part of the buying agreement. You move out, the person moves in. Easy Peasy - no waiting with removal vans for moneys to be transferred to solicitors and for them to make phone calls etc. Very civilised. This, also, results in fewer chains falling through - a very easily implemented thing (after Exchange, pre-completion).

Done and dusted.

You are completely correct that the whole process here is unnecessarily complex and stressful.

Look after yourself, it's all hideous.

propertyman

Barring a disaster/idiots this is the single biggest cause of the stress.

Things that don't happen how and when you THINK that they should.

As jumbly and muddled as the process is, gossip common sense logic hope and assumption is no substitute for understanding the process- buy a book about it.

Don't forget, a lot of people suck a lot of the time, and no more so than when moving house.

Jesswithwings

Buying a house is stressful. Selling a house and buying another is even more stressful! We have had 2 buyers pull out within the space of a month. We should have moved house yesterday. Instead we are on buyer number 3 and every time the phone rings I expect its the EA saying they've pulled out. We're getting pressure from our vendors and they are getting pressure from their vendors - its horrible sitting around and waiting but there's not much we can do about it. At the end of the day its only a house - however much you want it (and we have wanted ours for 15 years!) try not to let this make you ill, its not worth it. You'll look back in 4 months time and wonder what you were so stressed about.

Yorkie1

thelovelygirl wrote: »

It is evidenced that people commit suicide over buying house it is right up there with divorce and christmas - which is truly sad

Yes, buying a house is one of the more stressful life events, along with divorce and bereavement.

But that is not evidence of it being a major cause of suicide. Please do not overdramatise this.

If this is causing you such stress then you should seriously consider whether you are up to completing through this process. And I make that observation from a position of personal / family knowledge rather than ill-informed judger.

suki1001

googler wrote: »

!!!!!!, the owner has been turfed out of their home of possibly many years, and is being forced to sell their house to meet their care home fees.....

AND YOU THINK YOUR SITUATION IS THE HELLISH ONE...... !?!?!?!?

I've been a first time buyer and sold a house for my grandmother to pay for her care home fees, and I can tell you, the later is by far the most soul destroying, heart breaking thing I've ever had to do.

Yes we had to wait a bit longer than expected when we were buying, but I can tell you, compared to seeing my Grandma being unable to cope living on her own, she couldn't look after herself. She'd forgotten her husband had died, as well as having to mover her into a home, organise everything she owned, dealing with her coping in a care home and trying to sell the house. Buying a house was a walk in the park. You are waiting around that's all. You just have to get used to it. I would imagine the seller's son is probably having an awful time himself, while that isn't your problem, as your personal problems aren't theirs, it worth bearing it in mind.

martinjade

googler wrote: »

Let's consider what problems the outgoing homeowner might have;

They're going into a care home. Possibly because of deterioration of mental health, possibly dementia, possibly for physical considerations; problems with hip or knees, maybe, and can't manage to get about anymore.

On the assumption the outgoing homeowner is a pensioner, it's a realistic possibility they fought in the second world war, and now, at the end of their life, the state that they fought to protect has abandoned responsibility for the provision of their care, and is demanding their home, possibly a home of many years, be sold to pay for that same care.

They're most likely feeling upset, abandoned and much more besides. They're probably having to dispose of a lot of items from their home that have sentimental value because there won't be room at the care home for them.

It's not all about you. If you want support from us, then can I ask what support you're giving to the poor soul being turfed out of their home? You seem to dismiss their circumstances as being unimportant.

Oh dear here you go again giggler. The poor OP (see I know what it means now) was just making some observations, most of them correct about our antiquated house buying / selling process. She wasn't anticipating the vilification she received from your goodself or should it be selves. Judging by some of your postings you've had a tough time of things, after all driving a SAAB can't be good for your self esteem.

I tell you what why doesn't the OP in recognition of the sellers past achievements in the 1st, 2nd World and Spanish Civil wars buy the house and let the owner live in it, pitch a tent in the garden for her to live in and use all her money to pay for a carer to move in 24/7 to look after the seller.

Only fair don't you think ??

googler

martinjade wrote: »

Oh dear ...... Judging by some of your postings you've had a tough time of things, after all driving a SAAB can't be good for your self esteem.

You really browsed all the way back to July 2010 just for that.....?

martinjade

googler wrote: »

You really browsed all the way back to July 2010 just for that.....?

Nope, just used the tools on the forum --- Thought you would have known that ?

Ease up on people, life's to short

Jesswithwings

Eton_Rifle wrote: »

But you're selling too so that's where the stress comes in. All your issues are from the sale side.

The OP is a chain free FTB buying from a chain free seller. Without individual external pressures, buying should normally just be a matter of patience.
That's why I'm asking what is that pressure so that it can be addressed.

True. Our purchase is going without a hitch. The vendors have their contract and everything is going along - just playing the usual waiting game. Its the sale that's the hassle. I'd happily buy more houses in the future but I don't want to have to sell up again (sadly, cant afford to do that though :rotfl:)