Psychotic mother.

doodoot

If I was you, this is what I'd do...

Stop contact immediately, delete your FB page and send your mother a letter telling her that until you see that what you class as unacceptable behaviour has changed then contact will be nil.

State that any reply to the letter must be in writing, you are not prepared to discuss it in person or over the phone.

Try to keep the letter as unemotional as possible, but list your concerns to back up your reasons for severing contact.

If any family members jump on board, tell em to jog on as it's nothing to do with them.


I had to be firm with my own mum over various things where my sons were concerned, but I'm lucky in that she's only stubborn and not as bad as yours seems to be.

CH27

Why on earth have you got her on Facebook?
Why are earth are you subjecting your children to her?

Ziggazee

Ravenlady......your post sounds like it could easily come from me. My mother was exactly the same as this. She told me to leave the family home at 17 and then told everyone I'd run away in the middle of the night. I've had no contact with her since......and don't intend on ever having any contact with her. She has never met her grandson, and if I have my way she never will. Gradually over the years the rest of the family, including her own siblings, realised what a nutter she was and now nobody bothers with her.

Ask yourself this question "is being in contact with my mother bringing anything constructive to my life.......or is it only causing me misery and pain"? I think you know the answer. (((((big hugs)))) x

happyhaddock_2

As someone who has been controlled by her mum all her life I'd say just be thankful that you've reached this point sooner rather than later like me. I have just stood up to my mum (see my thread 'I don't like my mother') and am still grappling with my emotions.

If your mum is involving your children in her 'games' then I definately would consider stopping contact with her. Good luck, it's not an easy thing to do as I'm discovering.

MarilynMonroe_2

I would cut contact becasue its going to affect the next generation. You were good enough to give her another chance but she's using your kids becasue she knows she can't control you xxxx

RAS

Ravenlady wrote: »

She will use my sisters facebook to spy on me now she cant see me and I also have other family members stirring it up, this weekend we are planning on locking the door and shutting the curtains in hope she will leave us alone.

For heaven's sake, get on-line, find a cheap last minute deal in a travel lodge or youth hostel and go away together. Do not be surprised however if she decides to get the police to break in because she is so concerned about your welfare, so give them a ring first.

Use the time to think about what you want and to talk to the children.

1. All schools to know that they are not allowed to communicate with mum. Also to know that the chidren are not to be released into her care or that of anyone else you name (the other family members).

2. Remove yourselves from all social media or block her and any family members she is using.

3. Block her number on your phones.

4. Advise all family members that if they start carrying messages for mum or reporting how distressed she is, they will also be left off the Christmas card list.

5. Expect her to develop some life threatening illness, preferably in time for Christmas. Mine used to get one every public holiday, like clock-work. Send flowers and ignore her.

6. Work out what you want to do for Christmas and make sure it does not include her. maybe go away.

RAS

Oh and longer term consider moving. it is easier.

brians_daughter

The thing is (from mums point fo view) you have always pandered around her and the fact you have now found the voice and strength to do as you please for teh benefit of you are yours must be quite a shock to her. Imagine having someone who for years has done what you tild them when you told them then one day they changed their attitudes and outlook to life. I bet you would struggle to comprehend it?

Youa re doing whats best for youa nd yoursa dn whilst i am not saying you should cut her out your life completely she as a mother herself should understand you are your own person with your own and families needs at the heart of your actions.

Good luck OP... it may take her some time to get to grips with it but its yours and your familys time and whilst granny should be a part of that where possible it shouldnt be a given

magenta22

Is your mum on her own? If so perhaps she is just lonely and as you have always jumped at her requests before she's finding it hard.

It could be an underlying problem who knows.

You have your own life to lead and she should also respect that.

puddy

people with personality disorders rarely get sectioned unless they have other problems which mean they become a danger to themselves or others, people like your mum simply manipulate people into thinking they are great people and make the rest (you and your sibs) a misery

they also wont get help because largely they have little insight and so 'whats the problem'

i agree that a life threatening illness will crop up in time for christmas and you will be labelled ungrateful, cruel, evil etc etc, be prepared for that

the shock of having someone see through them either makes them a lot worse or the dysfunction turns inward and can develop into depression/anxiety, which means she turns into the victim

steer clear and dont expose the kids to her any more