Psychotic mother.

Ravenlady_2

Hi. My mother is psycho.

I have come to this conclusion today and have decided to have nothing more to do with her until she has a full mental health assessment carried out.

It all came to a head recently (actually about 4 months ago) when I defied her request and took my children on a day out to a place she didnt agree with, she wanted me to go with her the weekend after to another place and it caused holy hell for myself, my partner and my siblings who came along on the sly.

Also I have decided for the first time ever (im 29) that I am going to stay home, open presents at my house and cook my own turkey dinner, then maybe toddle off to see my dad on christmas day (never done this in 12 years either) - This went down like a lead balloon and has since been emotionally blackmailing my children in to wanting to come to hers, they are very scared about telling grandma anything now.

Also Halloween just gone created merry hell as we stayed at home due to the kids having school the next day, I live on a smallish road but i think nearly every house has kids in vs my mums street where they are basically quite old but we used to go there every year, never stay at home in fear of her kicking off.

Quite frankly Im fed up of being !!!!! whipped by my own mum and have started to say no, much to her disgust. She has been kicking off on facebook almost daily at me, leaving full on rants which are embarrassing, making up lies to other family members in order to get them on her side and even went as far once to tell my sister I was a prostitute and lap dancer. She also asked me to leave the family home at 16, took my phone and basically told me to F off and pointed me in the direction of the homeless hostel, I did, gladly until i found out she told every one I ran away and told my dad I ran off with a married man. :mad:

Que my return with my daughter some years later and the claws have never been out of my back really, she resents me but refuses to tell me why, meddles in my relationship and offered to lend me the money to abort my ds2 and new edition.

My daughter has admitted they are under strict instructions to start being naughty on thursdays so by friday i am fed up enough i will send them to hers for the weekend, she has told them not to listen to me and to ring her when ever I tell them off (she has barged in on a few occasions demanding to know why I have punished them and has severely told me off in front of my children and OH) even telling her I want to keep them at home for a weekend results in her blowing her lid, she's actually very scary, i think she may be insane.

She will use my sisters facebook to spy on me now she cant see me and I also have other family members stirring it up, this weekend we are planning on locking the door and shutting the curtains in hope she will leave us alone.

Ravenlady_2

Sorry I forgot to add, its only my siblings and I ( plus OH and my dad) that seem to think her behaviour is abnormal, everyone else seems to think she is perfectly normal.

BitterAndTwisted

I can't understand why you ever went back and got into contact after she chucked you out at 16. That should have told you everything you ever needed to know about her.

What would I do now? Cut off all contact and make it clear to other family members that you don't want to know or hear about anything to do with her.

She does sound unhinged (and very possibly evil). I dearly hope she effs off someone else around her and gets herself sectioned or something.

Desperado99

Ravenlady wrote: »

Sorry I forgot to add, its only my siblings and I ( plus OH and my dad) that seem to think her behaviour is abnormal, everyone else seems to think she is perfectly normal.

We had similar with MIL. She comes across as a sweet little old lady to other people but has been (in the past.... mental health issues) downright vicious.

I don't have any advice for you really but didn't want to read and run. Stand your ground! (((((hugs))))

P.S. Ditto what BitterandTwisted says..... MIL was sectioned (eventually) and things vastly improved afterwards

Jinx

I'd delete your facebook page and disown the nutter....

Ravenlady_2

I have no flipping idea either, hoped she had changed? For a couple of years we got along ok (testy but ok) I just learnt to nod and smile and hope she would shut up eventually but its getting too much, the personal attacks, the catty remarks, the threats then its the emotional blackmail. Its up and down with her.

rachelhen

Hmm something isn't right in her head. I know thats obvious but unless there is a consequence from her actions it will never be fully explored .
Unless she is challenged its collusion and will never come to a proper head. Families put up with a lot from each other that they wouldn't from a stranger and it may prevent her getting the help she seems to need.

meritaten

hi ravenlady - I dont know if you have read any of the recent narcissism threads?
I think this one has posts from people who have had similar experiences to yours:
https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/3228282

my own thread on narcissism and HappyHaddocks current one 'I dont like my mother! tend to deal more with the 'poor me' and 'victim' type of narcissist - but you may find them useful!

at the very least you will understand that you are NOT alone - and that your mothers' behaviour is unacceptable - and will read how OTHERS coped!

don't be influence by others behaving as if this is acceptable - I can assure YOU that it ISNT!

BitterAndTwisted

Of course this has all come to a head because you've started not doing or saying exactly what she wants you to. That much is clear. She's not a "lady" who likes to be challenged.

Cut off all contact. It's not good that your children live in fear of how she will react when she hears about your life and plans when you haven't cleared them with her first.

Her name isn't Doris, is it? She sounds uncannily like my sister's MIL. She's a ruddy evil !!!!!!-stirrer and interfering old harpy as well.

McKneff

She's annoyed because she cant control you anymore, simple as.

She is trying to control your kiddies.

You do right in blocking her until she comes to her senses. or gets sectioned.

coin_operated_girl

I don't really have much advice, just wanted to say she sounds like my mum! (although my mum isn't quite that bad). A few years ago I decided enough is enough, I'm not putting up with her crap any more. So when she is in one of her 'moods' I pull her up on it. Trouble is, no one else in my family has the balls to say anything to her. So I come across as the bad person because if I stand up to her she will then phone everyone else in the family who will say that I'm in the wrong (yet will complain to me later about how stupid she is being), so that just reaffirms her actions in her head and allows her to play the victim even more. Since I've stood up to her she doesn't bother me so much with her stupid dramas, I usually just hear about them a few days later from someone else. Anyway, keep on standing up to her and try and get your siblings to stand up to her too (if they don't already), because just putting up with it means she will carrying on being how she is.