Feeling right down in the dumps - can any of you lot cheer me up?

Mrs_Ryan

I'm feeling incredibly sorry for myself at the minute. I've been poorly for a little while (will come to that in a minute) and my life is generally a bit rubbish. Not really a lot of people know whats wrong with me but those who do have been great.. unfortunately most of them are at the other end of the country!
As some of you may know, I have PCOS and I suffer terribly with it due to gross medical negligence. I have been undergoing treatment now for about 6-7 weeks for an excessive flare up (a period that has lasted now for nearly 3 months leading to anemia, two courses of tablets managed to stop it briefly but I'm now being treated for excessive - and I mean excessive, I mean doubled up screaming and so bad it actually made me sick) pain. I was off work for 2 weeks due to the bleeding, the first few days I was so tired I could only shuffle along, I couldnt even walk properly as the effort was too much for me.
However the tablets I was prescribed eventually worked and I recovered sufficiently to go back to work. My ward manager is a bit scary but she was ok with me, she has agreed to refer me back to Occupational Health although I get the feeling that her and most of my managers are sympathetic but are a bit dismissive that my condition could actually be causing me so many problems - I've had this before, due to the extreme severity of my condition it seems to take me a long time to get anywhere explaining it to anyone.
I'm now on three lots of tablets every 4 hours, including a powerful painkiller which is working brilliantly but knocking me for six! Consequently I have no energy again and I'm feeling very sorry for myself. I'm supposed to be OH's carer and I'm also doing an NVQ course but I feel incredibly selfish as I just dont feel able to deal with anything at the minute - I'm struggling just to keep going day to day at the minute.
I dont have a great support network down here - OH knows I'm poorly but he doesnt really understand what's wrong with me and he gets funny with me because I'm asleep all the time or I dont have the energy to clean the house or to deal with all his problems - then he yells at me and says its all my fault etc. I am trying my best but I've just been superwoman so long I've finally cracked and am well and truly paying for it!
Sorry for the long post

aggypanthus

hiya, I dont know you yet, but i didnt want to leave the post hanging till some of your other cyber friends pop in. Writing this down will start making you feel better, a wee rant works wonders.
i dont really know what else to say right now, take care xx

lynzpower

Hi Mrs Ryan

Aw I dont know you much either but this post really struck a chord with me.

Ive not been 'well' for years and the drs never found out what was wrong with me blah blah, and finally in the last few weeks I got a diagnosis and am also taking tablets and its doing me in, from exhaustion, to physical weakness, to stupidly short attention span, faintness, hotness, dehdration, headaches, some visual problems.

Im also studying. Ive had to take some time off from my placement due to these issues ill be going back soon though, I have to. Ive also had uni work to do and that has not been easy at all to try and manage.

Part of me just wants to book into a hotel somewhere away from here, get some rest take my studying books and go lie down with them for a few days. Dont think it is going to happen though

You can only do what you can do, dont push yourself too hard and make sure you use any advice or guidance that Occupational health can give you.

Take care x

lynzpower

I dont have a great support network down here - OH knows I'm poorly but he doesnt really understand what's wrong with me and he gets funny with me because I'm asleep all the time or I dont have the energy to clean the house or to deal with all his problems - then he yells at me and says its all my fault etc. I am trying my best but I've just been superwoman so long I've finally cracked and am well and truly paying for it!

Also to say Mrs Ryan that this behaviour from your OH is really not on.
Its not your fault you are ill and its absolutely out of order for him to say that.
You should be able to feel like you can recuperate and as far as possible he should be helping you. What is his illlness, i mean does you being out of action impair his physical needs in anyway, like do you need to do his personal care etc and you cant?

Im trying to wonder why he would say these things to you?

Mrs_Ryan

thank you aggypanthus and lynzpower, writing it down has made it slightly better, thank you for the good wishes. lynz - OH has mental health problems. I dont have to do his personal care but he struggles to process things. Because its like 'women's problems' I have he doesnt understand why its making me ill. If I'm having a good day then it will seem like I'm well but I'm not always.. If I'm having a bad day then I can be really poorly and mostly OH will leave me well alone as he doesnt know how to deal with me. But if a problem crops up he cant always process why I cant just deal with it there and then.

VfM4meplse

lynzpower wrote: »

Also to say Mrs Ryan that this behaviour from your OH is really not on.

I agree!

Squeeze always cheers me up!

lynzpower

Mrs_Ryan wrote: »

thank you aggypanthus and lynzpower, writing it down has made it slightly better, thank you for the good wishes. lynz - OH has mental health problems. I dont have to do his personal care but he struggles to process things. Because its like 'women's problems' I have he doesnt understand why its making me ill. If I'm having a good day then it will seem like I'm well but I'm not always.. If I'm having a bad day then I can be really poorly and mostly OH will leave me well alone as he doesnt know how to deal with me. But if a problem crops up he cant always process why I cant just deal with it there and then.

Really? He doesnt understand?

Or he chooses not to be understanding about it?

If he doesnt understand how can you help him to understand? What hav you tried?

Does he come to your appointments with you? Does he get to ask doctors any questions or raise any concerns he may have? How involved is he in your health problems as over the years, it seems to have gone on a long time?

Mrs_Ryan

It has gone on a long time, since I was 16 (nearly 16 years) OH and I have been together 5 years and when we met I was still pretty poorly from my last big flare up. I explained to him what my condition is, how it can affect me and so on but in the time we've been together I've never had a flare up like this one.
He tends to stay out of my doctor's appointments as it's 'women's problems' and he's a bit embarrassed about it, although he did support me when I was poorly last time. I dont think he chooses not to understand, I think he's genuinely unable to understand when I'm struggling with my periods or whatever. He didnt grow up around women (his mum left when he was small and he only has brothers) so women's conditions do baffle him I think.
I've tried talking to him to tell him how it affects my life and he can be very good with me sometimes (when i was really poorly recently despite being skint he bought me a DVD box set to try and cheer me up, and he was very patient when I took an hour and a half to get a few things from Tesco) but sometimes he can be a bit mean about things.

lollipopsarah

Men ey, when I had a miscarriage, hubby rushed to the hospital to make sure I was ok, then when he picked me up the next morning he thought he'd cheer me up by taking me round the shops for a new kitchen (we were planning an extension) and wondered why I was looking a bit green!
Would he be prepared to go to the doctor with you, so that maybe the doc could explain some stuff to him? Just a thought.
I do hope that the treatment helps you soon, best wishes to you and a gentle *hug*
xx

MarilynMonroe_2

This always cheers me up when I am feeling down

a happy microwave!

hope it raises a smile xxx

Bronnie

Hi Mrs Ryan, sorry you're going through it atm.

This is a bit rude, but might raise a giggle.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R2ewsEKVJVA