We are about to pull the purse strings soooo tight!

Verbatim

Where I went wrong was not taking enough time to explain/teach/demonstrate how to do the chores first. I think accepting it will take time for this stage before getting any benefit would be wise. And you're quite right to give chores where you can keep an eye out. Another mistake I made was asking my daughter to clean her room. She would pull everything out and get distracted so the room ended up worse than before!
I'm afraid I have the ideas but not necessarily the experience!

Spendless

Verbatim wrote: »

Where I went wrong was not taking enough time to explain/teach/demonstrate how to do the chores first. I think accepting it will take time for this stage before getting any benefit would be wise. And you're quite right to give chores where you can keep an eye out. Another mistake I made was asking my daughter to clean her room. She would pull everything out and get distracted so the room ended up worse than before!
I'm afraid I have the ideas but not necessarily the experience!

Yes me too. My DD, her version of tidying up her room is to shove everything under her bed! But yesterday she went with her pony owning friend to the stables and whilst friend exercised the horse, she mucked out! I shall be telling her it's a transferable skill.

Baileys_Babe

I agree about tidying their room, we have difficulties with dd not doing it how we expect it to be done. We are looking at ways for us all to manage it better. One of the things we are trying is to understand things from dd viewpoint, and make our instructions clearer. For instance instead of saying "tidy your room" (which dd hears as clear surfaces by hiding what is on them at the bottom of the wardrobe/under the bed/ in the dressing up box)(& we mean put things away where they belong), we now try and say specific instructions ie pick up the Lego or put away your clean clothes or clean the windows. We are also trying to encourage our children to do a little bit daily to keep things under control.

Our children also help around the house their jobs include sweeping floors, loading and emptying the dish washer, hanging the washing to dry, putting clean laundry away, helping make meals and drinks.
Soon we plan to introduce them to cleaning bathrooms, helping decorate.

My theory is they need to learn how to look after the a home as vital life skills as one day they are likely to have one of their own and need to know how to take care of it.

When our children do housework they may not be always up to the standard I would do the job myself but it is always an improvement on the job not being done at all.

At first it can feel frustrating delegating tasks to children as it takes more time to teach them how to do the job than it takes for you to just do it, but in the long term life will be easier with the jobs shared between everybody.

Alice_in_Poorland

Hi everyone, I haven't been able to get onto the forum over the last few days. I couldn't even log in, so frustrating.

Great posts, think we all agree the kids (and OH) should and could do more. DS2 and DS3 aren't too bad. DL is a bit more of a challenge but he's getting there. I think my problem is that I find it easier for my own sanity to do it myself. When really i should learn to delegate. Or at least try and get the balance right.

Paperwork is a biggie in our house. OH will leave it and leave it, until it practically falling off the side on the kitchen or out of the cupboard.

brizzle - no chance of getting any money from SIL. Which I'll agree is a strain on our already stretched finances but 'you do what you gotta do' don't you .:)

Friday had to pay the window cleaner £13.

Saturday we had sports club, then spent a couple of hours chilling in the club house. We did end up spending a bit there, which I normally try and avoid. To be fair it was a nice to chill out and just sit with friends and laugh. Don't feel like I've done enough of that lately.

Also went to get DS3 and DL some bits and pieces. Got everyone underwear/socks, DS3 needed some training stuff for football and I got DL 2 t-shirts. spent £52:eek: Also got some bits for yesterdays lunch and pizza for tea. I did nearly fall off the wagon and order a takeway but I resisted.

Yesterday I pegged 4 loads of washing out. i know I say this every time but it makes me happy. Sad or what.:D Did loads of jobs like sweeping the drive, sorted cupboard under the stairs, cleaned all the windows inside. OH had to get some oil for the car. Had a lovely sunday roast and although we had lost an hour the day somehow seemed longer.

Also did the meter readings. We have used £130 in a month :eek: yeah i know crazy or what. We are now -£169. The heating is certainly off tonight. Told DL he'll have to put warmer clothes on.:D

still on 9 NSDs and we are keeping up with the 365 pot, but we've been filling it up on a sunday for the whole week. We do it when I'm sorting the money for the week out. It just makes it easier for us.

Thank you for all your support.

xx

Baileys_Babe

Seeing the washing hanging on the line always makes me happy. I haven't managed it even once this year.

Seeing others washing on the line also brings a smile to my lips. As you can see you are doing a good deed not only making yourself happy but for the joy you are bringing to others

brizzlegirl

I am with you with that pegging out Alice...I love it

Sorry re the stresses.. but keep on trudging on xxx

Spendless

I pegged out on Sunday for the first time this year I think. DS asked me why and was it because the clocks had changed? Told him, No, it was because it was the first dry/sunny day we'd had for ages and he said but you've got the TD that could dry it quicker and I replied yes, but this does it for free. :money::D

wishingthemortgaheaway

Hi Alice,
I found your diary whilst sitting up with a poorly Pickle (my DS) a couple of night's ago.
I hope you will forgive me for not reading it all, I read the first couple of Post on each page then read a bit more when I got 'hooked' on a 'storyline' like... how long will she keep the heating off and
Is she going to 'peg out' on Christmas Day?

I also didn't feel I could read and not comment, that would be snooping so here I am 'Hi'

I am inspired by your 'pegging out' not a phrase I'd heard on used before, but definitely stolen.

I don't know anyone who visits a supermarket as often as you do, yet your monthly spends are not as high as it would seem.

You must have a gold medal in the washing & ironing Olympics by now.

You are a super woman managing your budget, lookin after the family and taking in the DL.

the DL brings me onto that the 'meat' of my message. I believe (although am not absolutely certain as it's not quite my area professionally) that you are in an arrangement called 'private fostering' this is when you are looking after a child under 16 who is not a close relative. (What I'm not sure about is the definition of close relative- I'm sure an internet search would reveal the answer)
If it is private fostering you are required to inform the local authority about this. Not sure what happens after that as I work with under 5s in the private day care sector and our responsibility is to inform the LA if we believe private fostering is going on.


I'm sure you will bust those debts in no time. You have done so well.

Wish

Alice_in_Poorland

Ooooo love that pegging out puts a smile on your faces too.

Hi Wish, I take my hat off to anybody that can read any one page of my ramblings on. Hope your DS is feeling better. There are some strange ramblings on in my posts. Haha.

Re DL social services are involved (have been for sometime). He was only going to stay for the weekend, then a week, and he's still here. Not sure what the future holds.:(

DS3 had a teacher training day today so OH was off work with him. They went to supermarket, spent £34. Barbers with DL £26 :eek: (all 3), and then had lunch at the local cafe £18 :eek:. We also put £50 petrol in the cars (£20 & £30) and I paid works lottery today. Phew!

OH had a letter from Cabot. This is about his Yorks Bank CC, balance is £3500 or there abouts. Not sure what he is going to do about it. Think we'll sit down over the weekend and work something out. Need to have a look at the budget and update spending diary as well.

i can remember when I called yorks bank to see if they'd extend our OD. I have just started this diary. At lunchtime I drove out of work to the supermarket car park, parked in the corner and made that call. I was all confident but deep down I knew it would be a no from the bank. When she said 'no sorry' I remember bursting into tears. i was so embarrassed and felt so alone. To be fair apart from you guys I am still alone. It feels like a dirty little secret and every day i wish we'd never got into debt.

But on the plus side i am dealing with it, and if I really gave it 110% we could be debt free in about 2 years.....imagine that.

Not sure how we went from pegging out to our turning point in dealing with our finances but heyho.:)

Anyway off to get some sleep...think I'm over tired.:o:D

xx

Eager_Elephant

If Social Services were involved anyway then it would be worth asking them if they have any funding to give you to help with the costs of DL.They do have various pots of money available but they would never offer but rather wait to see if people ask.

If anything it will make sure that DL mother is not claiming what she shouldnt be and also make Social Services make a permanent decision on where DL should live and if that is back with his mother then they need to work with her to get her in that position. If its with you then they need to step up with money - if he went in to foster care they would be paying hundreds every week,