Hospital releasing information?

Savvy_Sue

margaretclare wrote: »

Yes, this seems to be happening a lot now (admission for theatre same day) - much better than being admitted the day before then sitting around until surgery the following day getting more and more wound up and worrying. DH had prostate surgery in February and he was admitted at 7.30 am for surgery at 9 am, home the following day.

I agree it's a better system, but when I crocked my arm they made me go in the night before to make sure I had a bed! :eek: If I'd gone home for the night there was a risk that someone else would have got my bed: they knew I'd have to stay in post-op.

margaretclare wrote: »

Having re-read some of this thread, I'm a bit confused. Is Dad being admitted for surgery, or for scan under GA? I think you said at first: admitted for scan but take an overnight bag.

I think the whole point is that the OP doesn't know what is happening, because Dad is unclear himself. That alone would worry me: if he can't read out a letter over the phone which would enable the OP to work out what was going on, how can he look after himself post-op, never mind his wife!

Even without this, I'd be wondering how well Dad was really coping, TBH.

Errata

Reading between the lines and making some assumptions - dad is being admitted for a minor procedure which is a day case but has to be done under a GA. Depending on his recovery, he may or may not be required to stay in hospital for the night following it. IME patients who have GA as a day case are asked if there is someone who can look after them for the first 24 hours they are home, and for older people who have nobody there is a significant chance they will be kept in overnight. Having said that, if they have capacity there is nothing to prevent them refusing to stay and discharging themselves.
Who would look after mum, whether dad returns home the same day or not, is quite a stumbling block that needs to be dealt with.

margaretclare

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

I agree it's a better system, but when I crocked my arm they made me go in the night before to make sure I had a bed! :eek: If I'd gone home for the night there was a risk that someone else would have got my bed: they knew I'd have to stay in post-op.

I see what you mean - however, I can't bear being in hospital unless I really have to. I had pelvic surgery about 3 years ago - had to be admitted one afternoon, see the surgeon etc but was allowed home overnight as long as I got back for 7 am the morning of surgery.

I think the whole point is that the OP doesn't know what is happening, because Dad is unclear himself. That alone would worry me: if he can't read out a letter over the phone which would enable the OP to work out what was going on, how can he look after himself post-op, never mind his wife!

Even without this, I'd be wondering how well Dad was really coping, TBH.

Yes, I agree. Maybe it's my background in healthcare etc, but I need to know book, chapter and verse if I'm having anything done or if anyone near and dear to me is having anything done! Had to read up about DH's HoLEP beforehand, in February, I knew more about it than he did.

Cannot understand anyone who turns down the offer of help post-stroke. I'd grab every scrap of help that was on offer!

RacyRed

margaretclare wrote: »

I need to know book, chapter and verse if I'm having anything done or if anyone near and dear to me is having anything done! Had to read up about DH's HoLEP beforehand, in February, I knew more about it than he did.

Sadly that is not often possible with a cancer patient, who can go from diagnosis to major surgery in as little as 14 days. In my relative's case they didn't decide on exactly what kind of op was needed until she was in theatre. The care she received was really brilliant but we had to accept that we couldn't get solid information because of the nature of this particular beast. Her GP was equally in the dark and was calling us for updates.

My family found it very, very hard to accept the lack of specific patient information but when things happen so fast you just have to go with it and trust the professionals, they can't tell you what they don't yet know themselves. Our experience was very positive and no further treatment is thought to be needed, but again, they can't give guarantees and only time and follow up appointments will confirm that all of the cancer was removed during surgery.

It is a dreadful disease, but OP, bowel cancer has very good recovery rates, don't lose hope.

margaretclare

Oh yes. I should have said 'if it is possible to know beforehand e.g if it's something that's being done from 'cold' i.e. pre-planned.

DH went for biopsy of prostate in urology OPD, no question of being kept in overnight, local anaesthetic only BUT I was told I had to go with him, no driving that day, he hadn't to be alone for at least 24 hours afterwards. 'Just in case' he felt funny or turned faint, a precaution.

74jax

margaretclare wrote: »

Oh yes. I should have said 'if it is possible to know beforehand e.g if it's something that's being done from 'cold' i.e. pre-planned.

DH went for biopsy of prostate in urology OPD, no question of being kept in overnight, local anaesthetic only BUT I was told I had to go with him, no driving that day, he hadn't to be alone for at least 24 hours afterwards. 'Just in case' he felt funny or turned faint, a precaution.

We found out (afterwards) Dad had gone to Carlisle hospital for a test and was told he couldn't drive home afterwards, he told the hospital his wife could drive and she was waiting for him. His wife being my Mam, the one who had the stroke and doesn't know what day it is, let alone how to drive a car.

My brother and I couldn't understand why he wouldn't have told us this so my brother could have gone with him and taken him and driven him home and made sure all was ok. He only told us a couple of weeks later, when my brother pressed him for information.

Thank you all for your help and I'll update you tomorrow when I've spoken tot he hospital. Fingers crossed.

Savvy_Sue

margaretclare wrote: »

I see what you mean - however, I can't bear being in hospital unless I really have to. I had pelvic surgery about 3 years ago - had to be admitted one afternoon, see the surgeon etc but was allowed home overnight as long as I got back for 7 am the morning of surgery.

It is possible that I could have walked out and come back in the morning, but at the time I wasn't willing to take the risk ... I was relieved when they let me go home for an hour to pick up a bag: initially I thought I'd have to sit on my bed while DH went! It meant I could get what I wanted, rather than the things I knew I could describe precisely, with locations, to DH.

Also a few years ago, when I was in the night before the brain surgery, I heard the nurses take a (very) late call which meant I was going down to theatre much earlier than anticipated. Which would have been tricky if I'd been at home.

Both times, I escaped as soon as I could post-op. Brain surgery Monday, out on Thursday. Shoulder surgery Friday morning, out Saturday afternoon. Even thought that meant friends collecting me, because DH simply could NOT get out of a commitment that afternoon. And I was locked out, which is another story.

However, each time I had a very capable DH at home to look after me. That's not the case for the OP's dad.

One thing is that since the time Dad was ill and went into hospital, I've had my overnight sponge bag packed and ready to grab, which the OP might like to consider doing. (DH remembers one request from just after Dad died, he said to the boys "I don't know what your mum's planning, but she's asked me to find her passport and the purse she uses when we go abroad!" :rotfl: I wanted the passport for ID, in case, and the purse because I wanted to keep spending on Dad separate from 'normal' spending!)

margaretclare wrote: »

Yes, I agree. Maybe it's my background in healthcare etc, but I need to know book, chapter and verse if I'm having anything done or if anyone near and dear to me is having anything done! Had to read up about DH's HoLEP beforehand, in February, I knew more about it than he did.

One BIG disadvantage of escaping over the weekend was that I didn't find out what they'd actually done to me for a couple of weeks, when I had my follow up appointment. Even though we asked, staff on the ward didn't seem to know whether I'd had my shoulder pinned back together or half-replaced. I still find that astonishing, but there you go.

It meant I couldn't even google, because I didn't know I'd now got an artificial half-shoulder. Which sounds similar to the OP's position, with not enough info from Dad, where do you start? This may, of course, be a good thing ...

margaretclare wrote: »

Cannot understand anyone who turns down the offer of help post-stroke. I'd grab every scrap of help that was on offer!

FIL has had several: fortunately all mild, so that he has no serious physical problems, but with that and other things his memory is shot. I'm not sure what help has been offered, but MIL has none. And says she / they need none, that he wouldn't accept that he needs any help, and so on. Maybe it started like that for the OP's parents? ATM FIL is mostly OK, but if MIL isn't home he forgets to eat, and can't remember if he's eaten or not, that kind of thing. I don't know where we'd begin to start getting them help.

RacyRed wrote: »

It is a dreadful disease, but OP, bowel cancer has very good recovery rates, don't lose hope.

I can vouch for that, MIL had surgery for it a few years ago, fortunately while FIL was still 'with it'!

Savvy_Sue

74jax wrote: »

We found out (afterwards) Dad had gone to Carlisle hospital for a test and was told he couldn't drive home afterwards, he told the hospital his wife could drive and she was waiting for him. His wife being my Mam, the one who had the stroke and doesn't know what day it is, let alone how to drive a car.

My brother and I couldn't understand why he wouldn't have told us this so my brother could have gone with him and taken him and driven him home and made sure all was ok. He only told us a couple of weeks later, when my brother pressed him for information.

This, to me, is another indication that Dad's not really coping. He may not be prepared to admit it, and he may be afraid to admit it because he can't see an alternative (mum not prepared to accept help and so on), but they're both at risk here, aren't they?