Hospital releasing information?

74jax

Little bit of background (because we don't know a lot).

Parents live approx 100 miles away and approaching 80. Dad has been ill for a while but is one of those blokes who plods on, doesn't bother the doctor etc.

Anyway, after finally going and having some tests, he has unfortunately been diagnosed with bowel cancer. Initially he didn't want to tell me and my brother (i'm currently signed off work with a tumor on my foot and can't drive, so I 'think' in his mind, he didn't want to worry me, what with me living so far away and not being able to visit).

Anyway, when ever myself or brother phone him, he's very vague, has been for various tests which my brother has taken him to, but hasn't actually been in the appointment to hear what has been said.

It's all taken place over the course of around 3 weeks. He has been sent for a larger scan to cover a wider area on Thursday this week and has been told he is to go to hospital next Thursday with an overnight bag.

My brother is taking him to hospital, however we don't know what he is there for. Dad has mentioned the fitting of a stoma, but he is confused as to if this is what this appointment is. He has letters but says they have 'big words' on it and isn't sure. He said not to worry though he'll be out that day. We have both tried explaining to him if it say he needs an overnight bag then he won't be out.

Our mother had a severe stroke 5 years ago, and he is her main carer and refuses any help. We have tried to get social services in on many occasions to help but Dad has basically said he will look after her.

They refuse to move to where I live or where my brother lives.

My brother and I have POA for both parents.

If I was to call the hospital and speak to admissions, would they let me know what Dad is going in for? Surely Data Protection would stop them telling me anything. My partner says to phone them, but I'd rather be prepared to know who to speak to and what to ask than call and be refused at the first step. Mam is not able to look after herself and if Dad is to remain in hospital, we would need to sort out respite care for her. I have previously requested she come to me so Dad can have a break but she refuses and Dad doesn't want to 'rock the boat'. It was a severe stroke and she is now argumentative/volatile/very weak limbed.

Has anyone been in a similar situation and can offer advice as to who I could speak to please?

Nicki

I would guess if he's having any sort of anaesthetic he won't be well enough to look after your mum that night whether or not he's allowed home. I've had sedation for tests such as colonoscopy and they like you to have a competent adult around for 24 hours even though you haven't been put fully under. More so with a GA. So I would go ahead and arrange respite care for your mum for a couple of days to be safe.

With me, I've been asked by doctors in advance who they can share info with. If he doesn't want you to know for whatever reason and hasn't consented to doctors sharing info then I can't imagine anyone at the hospital would be allowed to tell you any specifics unless he is mentally infirm and needs looking after. As an adult in my forties my parents would still occasionally try and intrude in my medical matters but no hospital has ever let them. I've always consented to my husband being kept in the loop and doctors and nurses are happy to talk openly to him. I can't see why it would be different for your father. AFAIK the POA usually only kicks in for medical stuff when he becomes incapable but it might depend on the exact wording of the one you have had drawn up. Hope his op goes well. I know you can't drive at the moment bit could you or your brother go and stay for a few days with them to make sure they are looked after?

FBaby

Normally, they should ask your dad for him to give them permission to speak to you, although not all secretaries are yet clued up to information governance and that they should not disclose any info to anyone else but the patient himself. Would your dad agree for them to speak to you instead if you explained you just want clarity? If your dad refuses and you deal with competent people, there is nothing that can be done without making a request through social services (not sure how that bit works).

74jax

Yes Dad wouldn't mind them talking to me at all. Sorry I don't think I explained myself at the start, it wasn't easy to put in all down on this thread. Dad 'initially' didn't want to tell me as he thought with me being off work he would be bothering me. So he talked to my brother about it. My brother then told me and I spoke to Dad. So now everyone knows and it is out in the open.

The problem is, Dad is all confused, he's been in 3 different hospital last week (he lives in a small Lake District village and so has to travel to hospitals). This passed week alone he's had two scans in 2 different hospital and when we speak with him he isn't sure what they are for or what results he's had back. It's understandable, he is nearly 80, is looking after Mam and is dealing with this.

I did suggest I come over and stay for a few day (especially with me being signed off work anyway) however he isn't keen on me sleeping on their sofa or an airbed and to be honest I can't really afford a hotel over there.

Mam's doctors notes do have on that if myself or brother call they can disclose information to us, however this is from when she had her stroke. I'm not sure Dad has been asked this question or not.

I think Dad (and us) would just like to know if we should put in place something for Mam now, rather than wait until Thursday. I will bite the bullet and just call admissions. dad can't speak on the phone (can't hear) and so wouldn't be able to call and say yes it's ok to speak to me.

silvercar

I've never had problems in getting information from doctors about either parent's health, and they are next of kin for each other, so I'm only third on the list.

Be aware that having more information than the parent and spouse may not always be a positive thing.

silvercar

I've PM'd you.

Kaz2904

You need to ring up and speak to someone at the hospital he's going to. If he needs an overnight bag then he won't be out that night. If he's having a stoma fitted then there's absolutely no way he'll be home to look after Mum that day. When you have a stoma fitted, you are in the day before the op. You get your bowel prep and then can't eat. This clears everything through. You then have the surgery and will come back with a pain control pump. The day after the op you may feel well enough to get out of bed but may not. The surgeons will initially start you off on clear fluids (sips of and no more than 30-60ml/hr). If you are ok with that, you will go to free fluids (anything). If all is going well, you will go to light diet (soup and ice cream). Once everything is ok, you are able to eat and drink as normal.
Your Dad needs to learn how to use his stoma too which he will be taught by the stoma care nurses whilst in hospital.
This is a fairly long process even if he doesn't have any set backs so your Mum will need to go into respite care. Explain this when you ring the hospital to get information. When he is admitted it will be easier to get information because whoever you speak to will be able to go and ask him for permission to speak to you. You should be able to set up a password system if you explain that you live some distance away and can't just pop in to see him. Then when you ring for information, you give your password and then can have a free and easy conversation with whoever has answered the phone.

Good look with getting everything sorted and good luck to your Dad for his op

74jax

Kaz2904 wrote: »

When you have a stoma fitted, you are in the day before the op. You get your bowel prep and then can't eat. This clears everything through.

It's not that then, he has to be at hospital for 8.30am for his op at 12.00, he doesn't have to be in the day before.

I have just tried the hospital, but the admissions aren't taking calls right now and as I don't know what it's for I can't speak to a specific department/ward.

Kaz2904

No there won't be anyone in the admissions unit until Monday 8am I wouldn't think, it's only emergency admissions and surgery over the weekend.

clairec79

Does the letter say where he has to go to - unless it's day surgery the ward he's meant to go to will have somewhere there

If you ring and get to speak to a surgical ward, they will likely know where he is going by who the doctor is or the fact that it is bowel cancer - most doctors keep their patients in one or two wards and will transfer you to the correct one

74jax

Kaz2904 wrote: »

No there won't be anyone in the admissions unit until Monday 8am I wouldn't think, it's only emergency admissions and surgery over the weekend.

Thanks, I didn't read this until I had called, and was told to call back Monday.

clairec79 wrote: »

Does the letter say where he has to go to - unless it's day surgery the ward he's meant to go to will have somewhere there

If you ring and get to speak to a surgical ward, they will likely know where he is going by who the doctor is or the fact that it is bowel cancer - most doctors keep their patients in one or two wards and will transfer you to the correct one

I've asked him to read the letter to me but he was getting frustrated and upset. He said he'll just go on Thursday and see what happens and they will only tell him to take an overnight back 'just in case' but he'll be out that day.......