A Thread for After Debt?

JustAboutThere

Hi there,

I think I'll finally come out of the woodwork from lurking-land. I've been meaning to, but had to do the 'ol hunt for the forum password (again!). I've been enjoying reading this thread and can identify with many things said.

If you'll forgive me, I'm probably going to start with a little rant.

I''ve been saving regularly, but at the beginning of the year I decided to go with a spending diary, just to try and focus my mind and see if I could put any extra away so I could make a capital repayment on my not-so-lovely non-performing endowment mortgage (!). Anyway, did pretty well and according to my lovely Excel spreadsheet I had just under £300. When I say the Excel spreadsheet, thats because when I tried the "take the week's budget out at once and keep in purse or pots at home", I found I was mentally thinking that if I had more than £20 in my purse I wanted to spend it. So I kept an eye on the spend on the chart and although a few days I went over, with swings and roundabouts, I still came out ahead for the month of January.

The spending diary was going great. Except it got to the end of the month and Mother, who lives in another country, kindly informed me that my long-term loan savings plan/view to pension I opened where she lives, back in the days before I had a pension in my job here, needed more money to be transferred. Or as Mother put it "you've got enough to cover the February direct debit but not the March one".

There goes my extra savings for the month! I know I've saved SOMETHING, so why am I so cheesed off that the first time in ages I try and really put something extra away it gets scuppered. I could stop the account, but again, I've seen both my parents really struggle on the state pension because they grew up in the generation "work hard, pay your taxes and the State will look after you", so they haven't got a private pension. And I don't want to be poor when I'm old. However, I don't want to be a miser now either. I've just got to try and find a balance that I can live with.

What Feeling-Good said back on February 2 really rang a bell with me. I'm not in debt, I save regularly. Why do I begrudge spending some money with a purpose . . . ? Sorry - just realised I'd gone off on another tangent. Explain first, then prattle . . .

There's just me to think about, no dependents, working full-time. I have the previously-mentioned non-performing endowment - with "Abbey Cr**py" as they're called in my house. On a very small mortgage (just under £50,000), its going to miss by about £28-30K. Eek! I've been very good and restrained, and living within my means and saving to have that money for so long its just gotten boring. I want to make a capital repayment from the money I've built up, but I'm so scared not to have that money at my disposal and having been hanging back from doing this. Whether its because my parents are on a pension and wouldn't be able to help out - not that I'd expect them to - but it would be nice at times, I don't know.

I also need to do some running repairs to the house. Again, its a legitimate excuse. Maybe I'll use the depression/stress card. Whilst I do feel better than it was middle of last year, but every so often there's a "perfect storm" and life isn't that much fun. Because of this, my confidence in dealing with financial affairs is gone. Its much easier to "let it slide" with what's already there, which I'm fully aware itsn't always financially the right option, but little steps.

Anyway, I'll try and pop in regularly. As long as I don't misplace my password again. Thanks for 'listening'.

berkshirelady

ooh excellent, a forum thread to keep me on the straight and narrow!

Until November I thought I was doomed to another 2 years on a DMP (done 2.5 years already) until my PPI claim refunds came through and not only cleared all my debts but left me with a surplus. It was the first time I'd been entirely debt free since I was a student 20 years ago. When I got the PPI refund letters I just sat there and cried. I think it was a mixture of shock and relief! (and a bit of bitterness, thinking of all those late night harassment phone calls, nasty letters, patronising attitude from bank staff, that I'd had about a debt, half of which I never bl**dy well owed them in the first place if they hadn't mis-sold me PPI.)

So, unsurprisingly, compared to before, I did go a bit mad. I bought my partner a nice bottle of designer after shave for Xmas instead of a second hand book. And a nice birthday present for my 3 year old nephew. And a box set of the entire run of Starsky & Hutch :-) It was v tempting to get carried away but I'm trying to hold on to Martin's mantra about 'do you really need it?'

So, although I've spent more on clothes in the last 2 months (about £200) than I have in the last 3 years, I've tried to stick to things I really need, like a warm winter coat (didn't have one) and a pair of winter boots (old ones had holes in). I've got a few other bits but have done them in the sales and online, using voucher codes too, so that I can get at least 50% off. And I'm still sharking around the yellow label use by date cheap food at supermarkets!

However, in the long term I know it's going to be difficult, or maybe it's because I'm still on a debt free high :-) So I've decided never to have a credit card ever again (interest is a rip-off and I've managed without one for 3 years anyway) and to try and set myself some goals to help me save my newly-regained surplus, and not spend it.

The first goal is pass my CBT and get a moped by the end of 2012. As a non-driver, it would be v expensive to get lessons and then try and run a car, and I used to ride a moped years ago, so it feels like the way to go. It would help me be more independent, it's cheap to run, and if I get made redundant it means I'm not tied to public transport to try and get work in my area that isn't on a train route. And not spending £££s on rubbish train 'service'. I need to save some more £££s, so I will be back on here for support and a reminder not to have a wobble and blow all my ££s on a posh holiday!

good luck to all fellow newly-liberated debt free wannabees. I will carry on the money-saving hobbies I have got in to, and found out that I really liked - growing my own veg, making chutney and sloe gin, browsing car boot sales etc.

I will try to be good from now on!!!

samtoby

I can't actually believe it. I wrote my post.....copied it and then my power tripped. So with the help of my phone I found the switch and everything is fine....is this a sign or shoul I try AGAIN lol x

SOT2011

Samtoby, sorry you are having such problems, please do try again!

Welcome to the thread to our recent posters, Berkshirlady and JustAboutThere and any others I've missed :wave:

Julie - I have much the same views on valentines etc as I am no fan of the commercialisation but could never get that through to ex-OH.

I don't really get the handbag/shoes/clothes thing either but have a weakness for cars as previous posts, and I do have a soft spot for fruity bubble bath and could probably take a bubble bath a day in my stockpile

SOT x

JulieGeorgiana

Welcome JustAboutThere Completely understand where you are coming from, I feel like that all the time… everytime you have a spare bit of cash something comes up! But just think, it would have come up either way and this way you are not dependant on more debt.

Welcome Birkshirelady WOW! I would have cried to getting my debts paid off via PPI! Well done you, and congratulations on being debt free x

Sam Poor you… try again because I would love to know what it is the universe is trying to stop you from saying!!

SOT Well I got a surprise this morning! There was a card in Eliza’s crib… it was from DH, DS and Eliza thanking me for being there and doing everything for them and being a great mummy. It was so sweet! Add to that DH then told me he was very frugal buying the card, which was icing on the cake for me

SOT2011

Aah, how sweet. And frugal too into the bargain, even better.

That type of sentiment is not what I have the issue with at all, it is the big, expensive card, overpriced red roses and overpriced box of chocs that people get suckered into buying, without giving a moments thought to the sentiment behind it, just because that is what you do on valentines day.

One year (even earlier ex-OH) I had been dropping massive hints that I didn't like red roses, I'm much more of a daffodil kind of gal if they are early enough, but still got red roses. When I asked why he said that was what you had to get on Valentines! Even if I don't like them!

stusan

Thank you all. Ive just read this post whilst drinking my morning coffee. I am going to be debt free on 1st March 2012 for the first time in 20 years. At its highest my debt was £22000. Most of this accrued on credit cards and loans when my boys were young as there father didnt pay maintenance. I am worried about how Im going to fair but am going to help my hubby out now.I have sold my car and am going to be using a little van he has on finance as my vehicle,its got more finance on it than its worth so we cant sell it.I am going to put away the equivalent monthly finance amount so we can pay that off in a year.
But my biggest challenge is going after my ex husband for the maintenance arrears he owes me. Its about £18000 but the CSA only have records for £10000 so im going for it. Every time they catch up with him he move jobs and girlfriend so its been a real trial for 16 years. I can afford to take him to court now.

ROLL ON 1ST MARCH 2012 X

JulieGeorgiana

SOT you hit the nail on the head... my ex bought be champagne and roses one year, he knew I didn't like champagne... and i was the one who had to find the money to pay for it! He then spent the evening watching tv and ignoring me!

This morning i got a card, and like most mornings I got tea and toast in bed while I fed the baby , it means so much more doesn't it?

DH buys me flowers when I'm very sad or upset, but never any other time... because that's when I need them

It's all about the sentiment I think

JulieGeorgiana

Stusan well done on getting debt free (soon). I wish you all the luck getting your arrears from your ex. I dont understand people who don't pay maintanance... just because you seperate dosnt stop the child being yours, or cost less to bring them up. Luckily my ex agreed and pays me direct into my account... no csa here.

rising_from_the_ashes

First of all ...a huge welcome to JustAboutThere, berkshirelady and stusan - great to have new faces joining us:D

Just a quick visit from me (only on to report my NSD:D) - this new system at work is killing me ..... screen work for 8 - 9 hours a day! I guess we'll get used to it but, just now, I'm certainly absolutely exhausted when I get in and just can't stay on the lappy too long ......:( need to give the eyes a break!

JulieGeorgiana wrote: »

I just do not understand the car thing... come to think of it I don't get the shoe and handbag thing either...! Or the clothes thing...!

I did chuckle at this ...... clothes - no / shoes - no / handbags .... errrr mmmmm I have lots of handbags. I am tempted by them every time I go near a shop .... I don't know why but they just speak to me:o.

I did very nearly buy another last Weds as I was killing time waiting for the train in town after my hosp appt but resisted:T.

They really are my only other really, really bad weakness - after the cars that is!;)