Alternative ways to spend Xmas day

Deam

Hi all

This may sound a silly question but DH and I are looking to spend Xmas day differently from normal this year and I would love suggestions.

A bit of history, My darling mother died 5 weeks ago. We were incredibly close and she lived with DH and I for the past 20 years. I have no siblings and DH's are at the4 other side of the country and tbh they are not that close. We also have no children so it is just us and our furbabies.

I cannot bear the idea of doing the same things this year that we always did when mum was alive, it is all just too raw and painful yet but I also cannot go away for Xmas, apart from the costs I cannot get time off work and tbh I don't really want to be around folks celebrating.

I am looking for suggestions as to how to spend the day which I know will be difficult anyhow. I have half jokingly said that I am cancelling Xmas but deep down it is really what I want to do. DH said we should go to Edinburgh Zoo for the day ( We live in central Scotland)

Any suggestions welcome from you lovely folks.

Deam xx

pollyskettle

I am sorry to hear of your loss. I can completely understand the need to do something totally different this year. I think the zoo sounds like a great idea.

cabbage

I helped out in the homeless shelter on Christmas Day and Boxing Day - it was great. You need to apply fairly quickly as most insist on a crb check.

lizzywig

DH's mum died three years ago now, two weeks before Christmas and everyone still tried to celebrate. It wasn't really real, no one could muster the energy to be happy despite trying to make the effort, so I think what you're suggesting is a good idea. Whatever you feel comfortable with or whatever helps you get through the day.

I like the idea about helping out at a homeless shelter. I guess it depends on whether you want to forget Christmas altogether really, if you go out anywhere then you will more than likely get people wishing you merry christmas which might make you feel a bit pants.

If it were me I think I would do all the things that I like to do at home. I would probably start the day with a good old full english breakfast and then probably a walk around the local woods (because you probably wouldn't come across anyone), then home for a DVD marathon (rent a load the day before) and then order a mahoosive takeaway and enjoy. Highly likely that I'd also stock up on lots of goodies, like wine, brie, pate, chocolate....not because they're christmas type things but because I love them and why not have a day muching on yummy things that I enjoy.

Make sure you do some research, if you do decide to go out and about then check opening hours. You don't want to get there and feel miserable if the place is shut.

Scorpio_girlie

Maybe don't plan too much at all - take it as it comes. If you feel like going for a walk, take a flask of soup and some sandwiches etc. If you feel like watching movies all day - have some of your favourite foods in (that don't require too much effort) - we like lots of different cheeses, biscuits, nibbles etc. The zoo sounds a lovely idea (and is probably about the only thing to be open on Christmas Day). Again, you could take a flask of soup and some sandwiches etc and just play it by ear.

SG
x

katiecoodle

a few years ago, my dh and I found ourselves in the enviable situation of having no inlaws to entertain on Christmas day. So we never bothered with the turkey, we had a curry instead & went out for a looooooooooong walk afterwards & then got into bed early with the leftovers of our curry & baileys. It all felt very decadent (as opposed to slobbish, which I realise it may come across as!) and totally the opposite of traditional.

LilyMae_2

I'm so sorry for your loss, I know it's very hard for you at the moment, everyone is gearing up for Christmas and it's the very last thing you want to think about.

My Father died suddenly five days before Christmas 22years ago, but then I had two small children and had to carry on for them, but I would have done anything to be able to move Christmas it was so difficult.

Sadly my DH died during the summer and my DD and I have decided to spend Christmas Day on our own, the last two Christmas's have very stressful and we felt that we would like peace and quiet on this day. At least I won't feel I have to make an effort, as in previous years when there has been a housefull. Boxing Day is a family day and I will feel in a better frame of mind to see everyone . We don't find the same rituals comforting at the moment, although some members of the family are not happy with our decision . My DD is still young enough to enjoy Christmas and this was her suggestion as the last 18months have been particulary hard on her.

So do what you feel is best for you, I would advise you to check first if you are going some where to make sure they are open.

Take Care

Sagz_2

If you have furbabies you may like to volunteer at a local dog/cat home. I know Dogs Trust have people help on Xmas day. It not only means that the dogs get a little more quality time but also helps out the hard working staff.

jamtart6

Could you book a meal in a pub? I guess ifyou didnt do that with your Mum it would feel different - although all that festive cheer and families together may get you down. The zoo sounds like a fab idea, had no idea it was open on xmas day! So sorry for your loss, The first xmas is never ever easy.

gnr1990

go to a park or sit by a river, wrap up warm and eat a picnic version of xmas day dinner! you could have turkey and roast potatoes still

david39

We went away for Christmas Day and Boxing Day one year, to a hotel in Lancashire.

On Christmas morning, the hotel had a gap in their festivity programme so we went off in the car and visited Blackpool, thinking that it would be nice to stroll along the promenade and see everywhere closed.

We were absolutely amazed to find everything open and in full swing with lots of people walking around and enjoying the fresh air, the gift shops, restaurants and the funfair. Everyone was in a Christmas mood and smiling and chatting to each other.

I don't know whether this happens at all big holiday resorts on Christmas Day, but we really enjoyed it and could have stayed all day, except we had to be back for a pre-timed Christmas Dinner.

Maybe you could take a day out at a holiday resort near to you.