Urgent help please

Caroline_a

Urine infections in old people for some reason make them quite daft - so you never know, once the antibiotics have worked their magic, she may be happily compos mentis again. My dad would regularly get them, I knew purely because of how he acted!

PasturesNew

Caroline_a wrote: »

Urine infections in old people for some reason make them quite daft - so you never know, once the antibiotics have worked their magic, she may be happily compos mentis again. My dad would regularly get them, I knew purely because of how he acted!

Yes, this is right. I've got a ga-ga old at the moment, due to a wee infection.

tori.k

She discharged herself from hospital a few days back..they are keeping the bed warm for her. she scored ok when they assesed her after her infection cleared up, but she cannot get out of bed or to the commode without help but the hospitals hands are tied, home help was arranged but she already dissmissed them so it's been left to me, there is not a lot more i can do as i work nightshifts so most nights would have to help her to bed at 9pm this she wont do it's too early for her so she just sitting in her chair in her own filth untill i get there at 6am..Its a sorry state of affairs and its horrid that im leaving her like that but she has to accept that this is the way it will be untill she accepts the help that on offer to her, she a grown woman and its her choice.

Care plan was put in place by the occupational therepist, social sevices didn't bother to turn up for the meeting..sadly that's not uncommon in Cornwall ..chocolate teapots springs to mind

suki1964

I feel for you

Right now we are trying to look after my step dad - 84 and going more ga ga daily. Hes just back from a 3 week hospital stay and after being promised a bed in the rehab - he was discharged to us with no follow up.

Just getting him to and from the toilet and washed and dressed is hard work. He forgets what hes meant to be doing or falls asleep half way through. He has so much wrong with him but the doctors cannot do a thing because hes too ill to even attempt to anaesthetise.

His one daughter hasnt been near nor by in nearly a year

And soon we are going to have to be looking for a care home

V_Chic_Chick

Sorry to hear of your predicament. I have a few points to make
- Kidney infections can, indeed, make the elderly go completely gaga - my own grandpa was diagnosed with dementia, and then undiagnosed almost a year later beause of that.
- I've found that you can talk to elderly relatives until you're blue in the face, but if they don't like it then they won't listen. Get someone in from outside (be this the district nurse, doctor, cleaner, family friend - it really doesn't matter), and they'll start to see sense. I think most people who walked through the door during my grandpa's 'dementia' were recruited for that purpose! Personally, I found that dealing with him in the exact same way as I did drunken idiots (I'm sub-5ft but worked in a city centre without bouncers, where I regularly had to kick out idiots twice my size. Obviously manhandling them wasn't an option, so I got rather good at talking to people who only had half their brain cells in working order, but still knew their mind) - essentially, it was a case of not taking any nonsense, not allowing them to change the subject, and being firm and unwaivering but fair.
- If she has frequent emergency hospital admissions, and ends up remaining at home for now, talk to the hospital / SS about getting a Community Matron in. They're NHS funded, and their basic job description is to try and keep the elderly out of hospital through preventative care. We found it very effective - my grandpa went from being in a rapid cycle of falling over, having the ambulance come to pick him up, being admitted to hospital, then coming home and falling again, to not being admitted again from when we had the community matron. (The matron was another person that the grandparents listened to!)

And if you have to (and it might have an effect), then use a little emotional blackmail over the whole care issue - cry / I can't care for you all the time. I'm really not normally one for emotional blackmail, but sometimes it really is for their own good!

onetomany

i will say to them that the dession will be taken out of there hands by a doctor etc that way it takes the pressure of you

NAR

tori.k what happens when you become ill/have to go away for a period of time/any other reason. You are right to make a stance, no matter how hard it might sound. You cannot commit to undertaking these duties every day for the rest of either of your lives (this is bound to take a toll on you too).
She will have to be made to see sense and accept a permanent solution. Big hugs and good luck.