Absolute Nightmare

sickasachip13

Nothing really to add to the wise words above. Except to say that this is obviously very tough on you, it must feel stressful and frustrating having to try and deal with this and support your mum. So, while the debt problems do need sorting out, you mustn't lose sight of yourself in this. Your GP says there's nothing medically causing your complaint/s and iit would be hard to imagine how you wouldn't be anxious and/or depressed by the weight of responsibility on your shoulders. It could be that you are suffering anxiety / stress / low level depression OR just completely exhausted and p!ssed off with it all. Whatever, you need to get some space to talk about your stuff - do you have a counsellor at school/college? If not, access a young person's support group near you, you could offload or just view it as a learning experience.

Best of luck
SAAC

RAS

Great minds .........?

The contact details for CCCS, NDl and CAp are here http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/loans/debt-help-plan?utm_source=forum&utm_medium=clicks&utm_campaign=resourcebar#help

JDC14

Really good stuff to take away from here - so thankyou.

I've used what you've said and put together a sort of to-do list (Mum works early mornings (usually 5-9 or 6-10) so there's plenty of time in the day and she'll have no excuses for not doing it). It's gone beyond supporting and its becoming severe kick in the behind to get her going.

Firstly, contact the CCCS, I had a quick go on their Debt Remedy tool, just to see what they could suggest in general. I basically estimated figures to the best of my knowledge and all it could suggest was spend £15 less on tobacco and to spend a minimum £10 on car servicing weekly. So it almost cancelled itself out.

Secondly, CAP. See if they can help with anything, face to face will probably be best and any e-mail contact with CCCS would supplement that nicely to restore some confidence.

Thirdly, CAB again. I've found out the one she went to specialises in Employment and Legal Rota - utterly unhelpful. So I've found two in the local area that specialise in Money Advice and Welfare Benefits, so I'm tempted to get her a sleeping bag and lock her in there. Will put all the contact details on paper for her.

I'm also planning to pick up a couple of folders from Tesco or something, so we can keep all the letters organised and not stuff beside the microwave or under the bed. If they won't accept a payment plan it's going to be a case of they're not getting anything for now.

From the quick glance I saw of the Council Letter I'm 90% sure I saw CCJ on there (we had a CCJ against the house years ago, which Dad paid off as soon as he knew about it, regarding unpaid National Insurance, due to a !!!! up by the accountant, would that effect how quickly they escalate things now?)


Bailiffs wise, we won't open the door. Last time round, he stood on the door shouting saying he'd let the neighbours know what he was there for. It's terrifying for mum when she's home alone during the day and this happens, whereas I'm relatively quite loud, so if he started being loud there would be issues. I understand in the short-term all you can do is stop him entering the house, but is he/she legally required to provide ID/SIA Licence or similar? And do I have to open the door to access it or can they pass it through the letterbox.

Last time, it was an old woman, with two young guys (much similar to the Mitchells in Eastenders (Peggy, Grant and Phil) and I had a few choice words with her through the front window and when I asked for ID she told me she didn't have to provide it and disappeared when I told her I was calling the Police.

Sorry for the long post, I just want to be aware of all my options in all scenarios as if anyone's going to end up taking charge of this, it's going to be me

elaine12022

Regarding council tax - write to the manager of the Council Tax department, give a summary of what has gone on, send evidence of your student status again - and give them a time limit to respond. Say if they haven't responded within x days you will be contacting your MP (this may help get their a***s into gear).

Your mum is obviously struggling (as are you), look after yourselves as best you can.

The consumer action group website (CAG) may also have some advice on issues with bailiffs etc http://www.consumeractiongroup.co.uk/forum/content.php

JDC14

One of our ex-neighbours who now lives on the other side of the village is on the parish council board and is part of the local Lib Dems I believe, so we may have to go and see what she can suggest or what contacts she can give us of who would have a real effect.

The council are really failing both of my parents as well as my Dad's in a different position, but the council are failing to help him. This whole current government system is an embarrassment. Wish I was Australian.

somethingcorporate

Why do you think the government are failing your parents?

Not sure they are responsible for how your mother chooses to spend her money (or not).

JDC14

somethingcorporate wrote: »

Why do you think the government are failing your parents?

Not sure they are responsible for how your mother chooses to spend her money (or not).

Because after 40 years+ of tax, ridiculous laws mean that she's owed lots in working tax credits etc. and are investigating her and demanding to see certain things in a certain time frame and if they don't get to it in time, they simply put her back to the bottom of list.

Yet, if she ticked a box saying Asylum Seeker, whether granted or not, whether she was even here legally, they'd pay the money straight away and deal with everything else when they can. It could be months before they realise they're paying money when they shouldn't, time they spent messing us around.

Secondly, Dad has Parkinson's and other undiagnosed issues that the head neurologists at 3 seperate hospitals cannot pinpoint, nor can several GPs and other Doctors, yet when he goes to see the council about housing, nothing, yet a 20 year old (he knows his mother) has been on the council list 3 months, never had a job, been on JSA since he left school has just got a new-build 1 bedroom flat on a brand new estate and has told them he can't afford the rent already and is expecting to be supported like he was in his last accomodation that he willingly left before going back on the council list a short while later.

Where's the fairness in that? Where's the Government giving priority to the people who deserve it?

They don't, and it's ridiculous. And the fact at 19, I am worried about this is ridiculous. My worry should be whether my hangover is going to effect my part-time job, or getting a full-time job in 4/5 months time.

I may as well get the Doctor to sign me off sick with this stress and live on benefits for ever, I'd have a better life.

--
EDIT: Just for the people who are being helpful - I'm being sarcastic above, I genuinely quite enjoy work, so I'm not going to sign off with Stress over this - but I probably could, and I probably would have life a lot easier.

pmlindyloo

You are doing wonderfully well considering your age (hope I don't sound patronising).

Please take RAS's advice about the bailiffs - this seems to be the priority at the moment.

Your idea to get all the paperwork sorted is an excellent one. Put it all in piles and in date order. This will hopefully give a clear idea of what is what. Then get that help from an outside agency.

I am a great believer in enabling people to help themselves but in this case I really do think you could do with some practical support to sort everything out.

JDC14

pmlindyloo wrote: »

You are doing wonderfully well considering your age (hope I don't sound patronising).

Please take RAS's advice about the bailiffs - this seems to be the priority at the moment.

Your idea to get all the paperwork sorted is an excellent one. Put it all in piles and in date order. This will hopefully give a clear idea of what is what. Then get that help from an outside agency.

I am a great believer in enabling people to help themselves but in this case I really do think you could do with some practical support to sort everything out.

You don't, thankyou. I think it's just because before, I generally didn't think too much of it, I thought an £80k mortgage was a regular thing, until I found out the mortgage was under £10k when Dad left.

It's strange being very comfortable financially years ago as Dad was very good with it, too now struggling because of the divorce and Mum having control of it and simply making a few bad choices. But too their credit, I've never gone without, so I think it's only fair I pull my finger out now and do what I can.

The thing is, Mum isn't very upfront, or open about this. I've suggested she comes on here (bit awkward if she reads this) but it'd genuinely help.

So I think it's going to be a case of getting the paperwork from around the house without her knowing and I think sorting it out and showing her it all laid out, what she owes and having it organised would help (I know it'll make me feel better).

Practical support is a definite, seeing as we don't really know everything and I'm pretty much winging it advice-wise with stuff I've read on here and found out myself on the internet.

pmlindyloo

So I think it's going to be a case of getting the paperwork from around the house without her knowing and I think sorting it out and showing her it all laid out, what she owes and having it organised would help (I know it'll make me feel better).

This is so true. If everything is in black and white you know what you have to deal with. Otherwise everything just keep whizzing around in your head! That's why MSE users ask posters to put up a Statement of Affairs so that everything is clearly defined. Only then can problems be sorted out.

Please try not to worry too much (difficult I know). I am sure evrything will eventually be resolved and you can get back to enjoying your youth!