Please help advice needed quickly :(

Moominfish

I was just wondering how I could get a restraining order out against someone? I'm male not female just to clear that up before I go any further.

Basically I used to live next to someone who was a super arrogant sod!! Often banging around, slamming doors, playing devil music (heavy metal screaming music all the time!!) etc etc and I got so fed up of it that I ended up knocking on his door several times to ask him to keep the noise down! He was a super arrogant sod even when I was being decent! And when he agreed to keep the noise down (which he never kept to!!) I went to shake his hand and he ignored me!! Subsequent times he also ignored the gesture..... Which really annoyed me, hence why he was an arrogant sod!!

Now to get onto the actual story, one day he came round to my house at roughly 12am and said he was in bed and he'd been woken up by my other half getting a plate out of the cupboard and it made too much noise and woke him up!! The walls were paper thin but his bedroom was at the front of his house and our kitchen was at the back!! (the houses are terraced), we since moved because of his arrogant blatant nasty behaviour!!!!!!! One time he actually tried to force his way into our house, I stopped him and locked the door and phoned the police, I still have the incident number to this day, this was on the 5th of December last year. We moved out this year.

Anyway I received a message from someone last night claiming they'd been in contact with him (why and what for I don't know?) but they told me my name had been mentioned and that he's threatened to break my legs, says he knows where I live and that he's going to hurt my fiancee and that he'd be willing to do serious jail time for me.... I haven't heard from him since we moved in February this year!!!!!!! So why the sudden need to make threats towards me and my family I have no idea.

What can I do about it with no actual proof he made these threats apart from the words of this other person? As I now don't feel safe. Can I get a restraining order on him? If I ring the police will they take me seriously? This will be the 2nd time in almost 11 months I will have reported him. I've heard he no longer lives in the house next door to where I used to live and I have no other address for him. All I know is he works as a doorman in the town where I live! I do know which pub he works at though if that's any good?

Hopefully someone can give me some constructive advice but if I don't have a current address for him is there anything I can do??

chalkie99

Who was the person who contacted him - a friend of yours?

I do sympathise with your worries but, as he hasn't actually made those comments to you, I am tempted to think it was just words of "bravado", perhaps your name came up as a mutual acquaintance in casual conversation and he was trying to "big himself up", make himself look the hard man he thinks he is. Probably all talk like most big mouths.

Try not to worry about it. I don't think the Police would or could do much and rattling his cage at this stage will likely make things worse.

Moominfish

It was someone who isn't a friend of mine no, it was the neighbour I used to live next to.

It's the fact he said he was going to break my legs, says he knows where I live now, and that he's going to hurt my fiancee as well! If I leave it and do nothing, if he does turn up then what can I do about it. I'd rather be safe than sorry. Because we've also got 2 young children as well and if he came to this house I would do everything in my power to defend myself and them, even if meant I'd end up in prison. Me and him really didn't get on. The word hated each other is an understatement.

But me and my family don't deserve to live in fear that someone is going to come to our house and attempt to cause us harm so I'd much rather contact the police if they'd even take it seriously. Bearing in mind there is already an Incident number from last year where he attempted to get into the house I used to live in.

N9eav

A civil restraining order would involve solicitors and courts and I doubt you would get any legal aid. The order itself would probably fail as you have little evidence to get one in the first place.

The Police (depending on where you live) need some sort of evidence. Third hand material would be insufficient. If the third party made a statement to Police detailing what he heard the chap say, then maybe they will do something. But thinking of what action would be taken by Police... it's not much at this stage. Perhaps a word in his ear which may do some good as he could lose his SIA doorman's license..

Hard though it is, I would ignore it. I doubt he will come around and break your legs or hurt your partner. But the fear he is generating is working. You have a right to defend yourself. I doubt it will come to that.

Moominfish

Thing is I know what he's like from past experience, he wouldn't care losing his doormans license because he's just a nasty arrogant type of person who doesn't care about anyone or anything.

I mean the 1st time he came round to the house I used to live at he had a warning from the police, so if I phoned them now to tell them he's been threatening they wouldn't do anything as I personally don't have any proof?? I don't even know if he lives at the same address anymore.

One thing I will say is NO ONE will hurt my partner. I don't think I need to say anymore about that as everyone would feel the same way, they know what I mean

And in all honesty it's not just fear i'm feeling, it's not just me it's my family as well! I don't deserve to be sat here on edge wondering what every little noise is, whose car just pulled up outside etc. It's not fair I don't deserve this.

esmf73

Go to the police - they might well not do anything about it, but at least you'll know that you've done it and I'm sure if you insist then they will have to make a log of it - which hopefully won't be necessary. Best of luck xx

nic2075

I agree to go and mention it to the police. They probably won't do anything but at least if they record it, if anything does happen they will take you seriously.
What's the chances of bumping into him in the street? Did something major happen as you were leaving? Just wondered why he might have such hatred for you after all these months, or was it because you reported him?

cheepskate_2

This is how major disputes occur, listning to 2nd hand info.

If the man knows where you stay etc, then why in gods name has he not come round and done something by now.

You do not have a clue what the conversation was about , what this person thAT TOLD YOU ACTUALLY SAID IN RESPONSE OR EGGED HIM ON.

You dont know why this person has come and told you, for all you know he is only telling part of the story(as is usually the case).

You seem to be getting it under your skin and seem to be a tad aggressive yourself.

Man up then and go and see him, cos from what you have said he hasnt really done much apart from have a neighbour dispute with you, cos now you are going to be mouthing off at him, for all you know this all telling person, could be away back to him saying "you said - no need to say more, know what i mean" which will really start it all back up.

There are always 2 sides to a story when someone tells you it, you have to be carefull when getting info such as this.

anyway he has had 8 months, lives in the same town so easy access to you and was prob just mouthing off.

The guy got a warning 11 months ago, hasnt contacted you or anything and now a 3rd party tells you something, dont think it is much too worry about

Tish_P

Sounds like he was just spouting off (drunkenly?) with a lot of fantasist hard-man nonsense. But if you let the police know, they will have it on record so if, god forbid, anything further happens, you have evidence. The police will also be familiar with this type of situation, and perhaps even this particular individual, and might be able to put some of your fears to rest or advise on suitable security measures.

Here's hoping you never see or hear from him again.

Moominfish

esmf73 wrote: »

Go to the police - they might well not do anything about it, but at least you'll know that you've done it and I'm sure if you insist then they will have to make a log of it - which hopefully won't be necessary. Best of luck xx

Thanks.

I'll contact the police anyway and see what they say.

nic2075 wrote: »

What's the chances of bumping into him in the street? Did something major happen as you were leaving? Just wondered why he might have such hatred for you after all these months, or was it because you reported him?

Chances of bumping into him in the street are I don't know slim I suppose? I have seen him in the bus station a few times.

And no nothing major happened when I was leaving, but when I got the police round to him (before they turned up) he said that he hated me with a passion (although he doesn't know me!) and that if he ever saw me in town going to the pub he works at him and his bouncer mates would drag me into the road and kick the sh*t out of me..

cheepskate wrote: »

You do not have a clue what the conversation was about , what this person thAT TOLD YOU ACTUALLY SAID IN RESPONSE OR EGGED HIM ON.

True,

But if this fella thinks it was me and if I hadn't been informed I could have easily been walking around town unaware of all this and then all of a sudden if I did ever bump into this person be caught off guard and end up seriously injured!

cheepskate wrote: »

You seem to be getting it under your skin and seem to be a tad aggressive yourself.

Aggressive? Don't you mean defensive? I'm not being aggressive at all. I have just been informed someone said they would be willing to do jail time in order to hurt me remember

cheepskate wrote: »

Man up then and go and see him

And risk getting seriously hurt? What sort of advice is that. If I can avoid conflict then I will. I'm not a nasty person.

Wootball

Devil music? You mean a perfectly acceptable form of music that you happen to not like?