Questions RE: Church Wedding

alipops1986

Hello All,

I know this might sound a little naive/daft but, how have people gone about organizing a church wedding?

We know the church we want and it's in the same parish that my OH is from so that shouldn't be a problem.

Do we just need to phone the Vicar? If anyone can enlighten us about what to expect or how to go about it, that'd be super!

Thanks in advance,
Alipops x

bubbles0169

AFAIK yes you phone the vicar and they will tell you all you need to know

cord123

see if your church has a website. My church has a 'drop in' on a tuesday evening to book weddings and christenings x

Hollie84

We had to go on a monday eve to discuss dates/times with the vicar and fill out some paper work and he gave us some to.

elvis86

alipops1986 wrote: »

Hello All,

I know this might sound a little naive/daft but, how have people gone about organizing a church wedding?

We know the church we want and it's in the same parish that my OH is from so that shouldn't be a problem.

Do we just need to phone the Vicar? If anyone can enlighten us about what to expect or how to go about it, that'd be super!

Thanks in advance,
Alipops x

I don't know about naive or daft, hypocritical perhaps. Because it sounds like you're doing what so many people inexplicably do, and getting married in a church that neither you nor your OH engage with at any other time?

Mind, the church are just as bad for allowing it. I might respect them a bit more if they had any credibility. My friends' local church christened both of their children (despite the parents not being married) and eventually married them, despite the fact that aside from these occasions, the pair of them had never set foot in the place.

split_second

you'll have to make an appointment to see the vicar to discuss the connection you have established, we have to go in about 3 weeks and i am bricking it, some churches are stricter than others, i think ours are quite strict in relative terms

NoAngel

elvis86 wrote: »

I don't know about naive or daft, hypocritical perhaps. Because it sounds like you're doing what so many people inexplicably do, and getting married in a church that neither you nor your OH engage with at any other time?

Mind, the church are just as bad for allowing it. I might respect them a bit more if they had any credibility. My friends' local church christened both of their children (despite the parents not being married) and eventually married them, despite the fact that aside from these occasions, the pair of them had never set foot in the place.

Not sure the OP asked for advise about whether or not to get married in Church though! How do you know they don't regularly attend a different Church? Or even if they don't, why does it matter?

Idiophreak

elvis86 wrote: »

Mind, the church are just as bad for allowing it. I might respect them a bit more if they had any credibility. My friends' local church christened both of their children (despite the parents not being married) and eventually married them, despite the fact that aside from these occasions, the pair of them had never set foot in the place.

I see, so in your ideal world, how often would you need to go to church to make your an "authentic" churchgoer? If I went to church once a year, could I be married there? Once a month? Once a week? I missed Christmas mass last year, would that make me a hypocrite if I chose to be married in church?

A lot of people believe that being religious is about how you live your life, not how many times you show up.

Edit: Oh, and to actually answer the OPs question (sorry, indignation got the better of me ) - we called the church office and set up a meeting. They talked us through a few details and booked a date. Nearer the time, we met with the vicar and discussed the service, the readings, the songs, the vows and the meaning of it all. We also had to attend a marriage preparation day - which was quite interesting - but probably of more value for those that aren't living in sin.

Mrs_Moore_To_Be

split_second wrote: »

you'll have to make an appointment to see the vicar to discuss the connection you have established, we have to go in about 3 weeks and i am bricking it, some churches are stricter than others, i think ours are quite strict in relative terms

Ours was VERY strict. You will be fine though xx

alipops1986 wrote: »

Hello All,

I know this might sound a little naive/daft but, how have people gone about organizing a church wedding?

We know the church we want and it's in the same parish that my OH is from so that shouldn't be a problem.

Do we just need to phone the Vicar? If anyone can enlighten us about what to expect or how to go about it, that'd be super!

Thanks in advance,
Alipops x

What I did was call the Vicar and asked for advice on how to go about booking a wedding. He suggested I/We pop along to the Sunday service and after stay for a quick chat. (I was getting married out of Parish so had lots to discuss on the phone i.e if I was allowed etc)

I went along to the service and after just spoke to him about potential dates and what to do in general terms. We then arranged a meeting at his house to discuss further such as costs, practicalties of the ceremony and how to book. He took us through all the paperwork.

We had a couple more meetings with him once it was all booked (and I had 'qualifies to get married out of parish'), one to discuss the service in depth and another to confirm details. Then there was a rehearsal.

Remember, its ok not to know, for most its the first time they have organised a wedding so you arent meant to know all the answers, and thats okay!

If you want me to answer any more specific questions I may be able to help xx

Jewelleryfan

Hi my fiancee and I phoned the vicars office and arranged to see him one evening there. He filled in some paperwork and we settled on a date and time. We paid a depoist and were told what that includes and if we want nearer the time we can add a choir or bells etc. We will meet with him nearer the time to organise the service. It was my local church so it allows us to get married there even though my fiancee lives within another parish. You can get married even if our not christened or live outside the parish as long as you cover a set criteria which can even be one of your parents living in the pariah you want, it was all very easy to arrange and we don't need to attend any classes or anything before either

bubbles0169

elvis86 wrote: »

I don't know about naive or daft, hypocritical perhaps. Because it sounds like you're doing what so many people inexplicably do, and getting married in a church that neither you nor your OH engage with at any other time?

Mind, the church are just as bad for allowing it. I might respect them a bit more if they had any credibility. My friends' local church christened both of their children (despite the parents not being married) and eventually married them, despite the fact that aside from these occasions, the pair of them had never set foot in the place.

exactly! so if you havnt got a constructive post dont bother replying!