Disabled and moving in with working boyfriend

moose1982

Don't forget in your costings breakdown other things about setting up a new flat/home such as:

- Do you need to pay rent up front? If so, how much? Most agencies want one month, mine wanted three when I went through one
- How much is the deposit?
- Agency fees, they charge a certain amount to do financial checks (I think mine was £40, but can vary of course)
- TV licence (approx. £150)
- Furniture. Can your boyfriend's parents help out with some that won't be needed when he moves out? Make a note of every room and then everything you will need for each room. Search online at maybe Ikea's website for price ideas on things like wardrobes and tables, they cater for cheap to expensive and keep an eye out for bargain deals elsewhere when actually getting it all together. Things like bed and sofa are not cheap, but do not skimp on them, you spend about 8 hours a night on your bed, so ensure it is what you are comfortable on.
- Contents insurance, my last place was a 1 bed house and my contents insurance was about £60 a year because my contents aren't that valuable, see if you can get Quidco/TopCashback on that, using Quidco I paid about £10-£15 a year.
- Adaptions, would the property need any for your disability (I have no idea what it is, or if you'd even need any!)? If so, check that the landlord is ok with them going in. As a general rule, I've found that temporary ones like a bathboard and hand rails on suction pads are fine, but anything drilled into the wall is not.

Yes you need to know which of your benefits are going to be affected, but start up costs do need to be planned and maybe it could be worth delaying it for a couple of months so you both get what you want and need in a home.

sunnyone

supersaverkerry wrote: »

Oh dear, yes I will have to look into this - for IB I am exempt from medicals because of how bad my condition is, I also do not have to attend the work focused interviews, I wonder if when I am moved to ESA they will view my condition as seriously as IB have.

Unless you have cancer and are on chemo or you are in the later stages of pregnacy there are no exemptions to a ESA medical assessment though some are done by paper alone without the need for a face to face meeting.

There are no guarentees that you will pass the WCA medical, a much higher % fail with ESA and then there is also the time limit thats going to be introduced soon which means that in the group that most people are put into (WRG) will only mean that you get ESA for 12 months, you will not be entitled to IBESA due to your boyfriends wage so you may be left with DLA alone as income and as that is purely for disability needs you may end up with nothing.

I am very seriously disabled and I should get put straight into the support group of ESA when my time comes to change from IB but nothing can be taken for granted, you need to read the criteria to see if there is any reasonable chance of getting into the support group, many people think they will get in under the "working could seriously damage my health" criteria but they are wrong as this catagory is rarely invoked according to CAB, if it was used as often as people claimed it fitted them no one would fail the WCA!

supersaverkerry

moose1982 wrote: »

Don't forget in your costings breakdown other things about setting up a new flat/home such as:

- Do you need to pay rent up front? If so, how much? Most agencies want one month, mine wanted three when I went through one
- How much is the deposit?
- Agency fees, they charge a certain amount to do financial checks (I think mine was £40, but can vary of course)
- TV licence (approx. £150)
- Furniture. Can your boyfriend's parents help out with some that won't be needed when he moves out? Make a note of every room and then everything you will need for each room. Search online at maybe Ikea's website for price ideas on things like wardrobes and tables, they cater for cheap to expensive and keep an eye out for bargain deals elsewhere when actually getting it all together. Things like bed and sofa are not cheap, but do not skimp on them, you spend about 8 hours a night on your bed, so ensure it is what you are comfortable on.
- Contents insurance, my last place was a 1 bed house and my contents insurance was about £60 a year because my contents aren't that valuable, see if you can get Quidco/TopCashback on that, using Quidco I paid about £10-£15 a year.
- Adaptions, would the property need any for your disability (I have no idea what it is, or if you'd even need any!)? If so, check that the landlord is ok with them going in. As a general rule, I've found that temporary ones like a bathboard and hand rails on suction pads are fine, but anything drilled into the wall is not.

Yes you need to know which of your benefits are going to be affected, but start up costs do need to be planned and maybe it could be worth delaying it for a couple of months so you both get what you want and need in a home.

Yes we have to pay 1 month rent up front plus one month of rent as a deposit - we have now chosen a flat and he paid the £450 deposit of of this months wages, the landlord still needs time to clean carpets etc as previous tenant only moved out 1 week ago so she is happy to have us move in on 1st Decemeber so from then we pay £450 a month.

There are no agency fees for us to pay.

Tv licence is facotred into the budget we have now worked out

furniture - we have some bits from family, plus his mum has been and bought little bits for the kitchen and he has budgeted for us to get some things this month and some next month for main purchases and other little bits we will build up as we go along.

We had a good chat about finances and he says he never expected anything towards rent or council tax and would just expect me to help pay bills for gas electric etc... and anything I personally want such as my mobile and love film subscription and help towards food.

Our situation is also looking a bit better because he is to work nights one month days the next so on the month he works nights he will get £520 extra each month in the form of a night bonus.

Hammyman

Mojisola wrote: »

Really? Is that a sustainable position to take?

How are you going to buy clothes, presents, replace anything that breaks down, etc?

If you are going to be a "couple" rather than just two people sharing a house, you need to talk through the money side of the relationship. It's part of the mutual support that comes with a serious relationship.

When my unemployed girlfriend moved in with me, there was no discussion about money. I was working so I was the bread winner and my income supported the pair of us. When she worked, she contributed. When she didn't work, her contribution was doing the house work and having my tea ready for me when I came home after a 12 hr working day.

supersaverkerry

Hammyman wrote: »

When my unemployed girlfriend moved in with me, there was no discussion about money. I was working so I was the bread winner and my income supported the pair of us. When she worked, she contributed. When she didn't work, her contribution was doing the house work and having my tea ready for me when I came home after a 12 hr working day.

I would not feel so bad if that was the case, however things like cooking and cleaning are not things I can really do due to my health.

But anyway it has now been agreed that I will contribute what I can when I can so it takes the pressure off me alot.