Wanting to leave partner, where do I stand on property?

squeeeek

Me and my partner have been living together for 1year 9months, in a property gifted to me by my mother when she moved in with her partner in 2008.
I dont really want to go into the reasons behind my wish to split but it's fair to say he has take all of my confidence.
There is not mortgage on the property and we havent had any improvements done since he has been living with me.
He hasn't contributed equally to utilities or food costs
I have a car loan in my name for his car currently standing at £1000

How do I go about having him leave the property? (he has threatened to become violent i try to leave him?

And does he have any rights on the property?
I am 22 and he is 21 there are no children involved

Please help me, emma

RAS

Hi

legally at the moment he is a lodger. He has no right to remain in the house at all.

Even if you were married, as you have been together less than 2 years, the courts would expect that both parties would return to the situation in which they were prior to marriage (it is known as a short marriage).

I suspect you need a restraining order because he has threatened violence, which needs to be given to him when he is not in the house. You need to speak to the local police and Women's Aid about additional help. The police may escort him to the house to remove his property or to collect property that you have placed outside.

Do you have anyone who can move in with you to protect you in the short-term?

JennyP

My ex-husband took all my self-confidence too but there is light at the end of the tunnel and you will get your confidence back! I did!

I second RAS's opinion - you really should go to the police.

mackemdave

As this is your property you could change the locks and if he causes any trouble or damage then call the police....Leave all his worldly goods on the doorstep

squeeeek

thankyou for replying so quickly and with such good advice RAS and Jenny. I really want to avoid police involvement because his dad is a policeman also i want to avoid it becoming a scene in the neighborhood, i know it sounds silly but i work in the local shop and i don"t want to air dirty laundry if you know what i mean.
If i boxed his things up while he was at work and rang him to tell him (this might give him time to calm down a bit) would he have to leave that night? because i wont be able to spend another night with him in the house after I've told him its over.

squeeeek

thankyou mackemdave (the thanks button isn't on your post for some reason)

rachbc

yes you can tell him to leave at any time. Pack his stuff, change the locks, get someone to come over then ring and tell him.

squeeeek

Thankyou for the great advice everyone. I wont be able to come online after 5.15pm tonight because he will be home, going to the CAB drop in session tomorrow at 9.30am. Then, hopefully, packing him out of my life. I have tried to leave him before but never quite managed it but I've never been quite this serious about it before.
I just want my life back

rachbc

Good luck - I am sure you will find plenty of support on this board over the coming days and weeks

RAS

Hi

beforee you do anything get that restraining order in place; if he breaches that you can ask the police to remove him.

And be realistic; he knows that you want to keep things quiet so he is going to make a scene in the hope that this will panic you into letting him back in.

He has to know that you will call then police, that you will not be freaked out by a scene and that if he tries to hurt you, you will take him to court. He is a bully and the only way to deal with him is to do the unexpected.

Who can stay with you for a few days?

barbiedoll

He sounds like a bit of a horror.

Change the locks...front and back and if you have window locks, use them.

It may also be worth changing your phone numbers, I know it's a pain, but if he's one of those who won't let go, he could end up hassling you day and night.

Don't worry too much about his dad being a policeman, it doesn't mean that he's above the law.

Another thing...any money issues? Is the car registered in his name? Is the loan a normal bank loan or is it a car finance deal? And if you think that he may have had access to any of your passwords for online banking, social networking sites and any PIN's for your cards etc, change them as soon as you can!
Good luck!