Jakesmum needs a diary

jakes-mum · 19 October 2011 at 8:44AM

Ive been on here 5 years and never done a diary :eek: well here it is, I cant guarantee it will be updated everyday as I have a notoriously bad memory

Bit about me, well im a mum of 2 a boy 10 (bet you cant guess his name

) and a little girl 3. Married to their dad for coming up 5 years (we did it all the wrong way round, baby, house then marriage then another baby :rotfl:)

I have M.E so don't work, DH works shifts for an agency doing double the work for half the money

He has depression which is largely from our role reversal since I became ill, worry about what will happen to me and that he doesnt feel hes earning what he should for his family

Our Debt: well some will read this and think 'well thats not so bad' but to me debt is debt and it hangs over us taking the money we need to save should I get worse

Post office 1 - £750 - 13 months 0%
Post office 2 - £1550 - 11 months 0%
Asda CC - £2920 - 7 months 0%
Loan - £1442.16 - 8 payments left

Total owed = £6662.16

I havent posted on the DFW as im managing to make my payments, I know I will have to renew my asda one when its due but hope to get rid of the other 2 before they are due, and the loan ending will be a help as thats been £180 of our money for the last 3 1/2 years.

How did I get here? well I fell victim to the 'consolidate your debts, one easy payment that you can forget about' line. The problem was we DID foget it and continue to spend afterwards :eek:. So no more consolidation for me, if its there and a weight I cant ignore it!.

So really the purpose of this diary is to have a moan when things get to much, share my worries when money is tight (I dont like to talk to DH too much as it makes his depression worse and we really cant afford for him to refuse to leave his bed) so i have been carrying the worry alone, and just to talk to other people who are/have been there i suppose.

So hello :wave:

jakes-mum · 19 October 2011 at 8:51AM

Ok to get a bit of focus, here is what I want:

I want to get rid of the debt because . . .

I want to start chipping away at the mortgage
Its doubtful I will return to work and I love crafting so my little daydream is to sell craft stuff, beads and the like . . with debt that will definitely always be a dream
I want to be able to afford the things my kids want to do
I want to not worry about paying for the next school trip
I want to not have to let my kids walk round in clothes to short till I can afford new ones :eek:

jakes-mum · 19 October 2011 at 9:39AM

Well ive been sat here for the last half hour and thinking, ok you want rid of the debt, but what are you going to DO about it? I already am part of the sealed pot challenge, this money is for if DS gets into my chosen school, its not his catchment school and is too far to walk so I have to pay for a bus pass for him if there is a spare seat. Thankfully gran works in the same town and said she will happily take him each morning but doesnt finish till 5pm so I need to cover getting home which at the moment is £75 a term

so worth it if he gets in though as they are a sports and maths academy and he is a genius at maths and is extremely sporty, runs like the wind, outstripped all his class and 90 % of the year above in cross country last year. Ive never seen a child with so much stamina!

What else, im also part of the make £10 a day challenge and im doing quite well, downside is im running out of stuff to ebay

I am part of some survey sites but newhere near cashing out, on top cashback, and haunt the reduced section but need to do more to bring down the bills

I need to start a spending diary to see where my money goes. DH takes £1 a day to work for cups of tea as they now charge 40p a cup :eek: I do try to give him a flask but to be honest when hes on mornings I am not willing to get up at 5am to make him coffee and he just doesnt think to do it himself, on afternoons I do forget, i dont know why, just often it goes out of my head.

I dont buy much branded stuff, the big exception to that is gravy, I do buy bisto best because DS is a coeliac and its the only one ive found that doesnt contain gluten other than the specialist stuff that smells foul!! DS does cost me alot I wont lie, I do try to make him biscuits and cakes but sometimes im just not up to it, and since he got diagnosed he eats costantly! They warned me it would happen as his body is suddenly getting food but I didn't comprehend how bad it would be.

Big problem is DD wants to be like her brother, she wants to act like him, dress like him and eat like him! so she wants his gluten free stuff, and at £1.36 for a pack of biscuits thats expensive love. We do try to steer her toward the normal stuff but it doesnt always work and DS bless him finds it hard to say no to her

Its also not feasable to remove the stuff from the house and only have 'healthy' stuff. One, I dont think the odd biscuit is bad for a kid, and two, DS is so underweight from his years of not being diagnosed that he needs the fat, you can see all his ribs through his skin hes so thin. He stopped growing due to the coeliacs so is now sprouting to catch up to where he should be, to put it into context he was in size 5-6 clothes last january . . . hes now in a size 10 - 11 years in the leg BUT still takes a age 6 in the waist as all the fat has just gone into making him grow :eek: so we still have to buy a size smaller just to tighten the waist enough to fit him :eek:

jakes-mum · 19 October 2011 at 12:27PM

Just had an email through from the school saying they are doing another bag2school collection, and are sending a bag home with the children. Am I the only one who wants to email them back saying, incase you havent noticed the country has no money and unfortunately charity must begin at home

I feel really mean as Ds is always bringing home letters for non uniform days (50p), special activities (up to £5), discos (£1) and I cant afford it. How long can you keep saying 'sorry love no money' to a 10 year old.

saorsie · 19 October 2011 at 2:01PM

Just popped over from the 'make £10 a day thread' to wish you well in your new diary jakes-mum. Will keep popping in if that's ok and see how you're getting on

-s-

jakes-mum · 19 October 2011 at 4:10PM

Hi Saorsie, thank you very much, yes please do pop in as it will keep me motivated to keep talking and beating those debts

jakes-mum · 20 October 2011 at 8:06AM

good morning

Woken up and the first thought that hits me is the weather is turning and both DD and DS need jumpers, plus DD needs more trousers as 3 pairs for a 3 year old is not enough. I had to go with DH and DD yesterday to get DH more work jumpers as his seem to have disappeared :eek: Im not sure if they've been nicked (the job he had before he worked away and his room mate nicked his very expensive Yamaha jacket :eek: we knew it was him but he denied it

) or if they got so bogging that I threw them away and I cant remember :eek: I also bought DD a new coat as they were 25% off and shes wearing a size 5 - 6 years and her coat is 3 - 4 years

So talking to my fabulous mummy who supports me so brilliantly we have said we will go to Tesco on saturday, mum has vouchers shes been saving from the paper for tesco and said I can have them for the kids clothes, plus the £5 off £25 spend I got yesterday, + I have a £6 off £40 spend from co-op, I think I can get them both kitted out for about £14

I do have a question, does anyone else get annoyed by people saying to you 'im so skint, ive just paid for my holiday/an extension/a new car' I sometimes just want to shout back 'well im so skint, im not sure if i'll be eating dinner every night this month to make sure the kids are fed, the car has 47 miles of petrol and theres no money for 2 weeks' im just in a really moany mood today, sometimes the lack of money gets to me. I know its our fault, we spent it, we pay it back, I suppose its just when we spent it we never invisaged a life where I was so sick I cant leave the house at time and DH wouldnt have a 'real' job

Ugh get a grip jakes-mum, stop feeling sorry for yourself

jaffacakegal · 20 October 2011 at 12:44PM

jakes-mum wrote: »

I do have a question, does anyone else get annoyed by people saying to you 'im so skint, ive just paid for my holiday/an extension/a new car' I sometimes just want to shout back 'well im so skint, im not sure if i'll be eating dinner every night this month to make sure the kids are fed, the car has 47 miles of petrol and theres no money for 2 weeks' im just in a really moany mood today, sometimes the lack of money gets to me. I know its our fault, we spent it, we pay it back, I suppose its just when we spent it we never invisaged a life where I was so sick I cant leave the house at time and DH wouldnt have a 'real' job

Ugh get a grip jakes-mum, stop feeling sorry for yourself

Hi Jakes-mum,

Yes that is really annoying! I do it sometime tho I must admit - I'm so skint but I'll still go out for a drink (not sure I've quite had my LBM yet!).

Life gets you down sometimes - at least you're trying your best to do summat about it you're not letting it beat you

JCG x

jakes-mum · 20 October 2011 at 6:56PM

Helloo Jaffacakegal, :wave: ah I dont count a drink in my moan, thats just trying to have a bit of a life in the middle of all this debt removal :rotfl:

Nope not going to let this beat me, oh I used to be so good with money, im the girl who earnt £6.18 a week from my paper round at 13 and still saved £5 of that for my holiday spends. Its DH, he corrupted me! him and his 0% credit over 4 years :rotfl: ahh not really I take 50% of the blame by not saying no we're going to save for it. At least he doesnt try to interfere with my bill paying, he doesnt want to know until its all paid bless him

jakes-mum · 20 October 2011 at 7:00PM

well what have I done today on my road to debt freedom? well I was all ready to go make an overpayment on my credit card as I had £20 in the cupboard from money someone owed DH and am supposed to have £100 of cashback in the bank but as DH is paid weekly and I cant figure out what day his money actually goes in, I cant figure out whether his wages arn't in yet, the cashback hasnt cleared or theres less money in there than I thought, so I gave up.

BUT I have been reminded of my maximiles account so have logged in and am pretending to watch videos as I type to build up my points to a payout