advice on seperating please

kb92830

helenathena,

It is not an easy situation I agree, having been there and made some of the most common mistakes thinkable I am just suggesting that you think this through before making any decisions. Unfortunately the law never gets it quite right, and as such, anomolies such as even with shared care one parent still having a liabilty for maintenance to the other is testament of this.

RAS is right, you may end up with a complete horror story 1,2 or 3 years ahead if you do what you are currently thinking of doing.

tentickles666

thank you for the advice. wish id read this forum before i got married eh...i will keep trying the citizens advice and ill stay put here while i research better. thanks again

RAS

helenathena wrote: »

he earns just over 30k i earn £200 per month max as i have diffferent hours each week, which is why im looking for something more regular

In that case he moves out and finds alternative housing; you go for shared care and claim to support then household - check www.turn2us.org.uk until the children leave school. And you agree never to claim CSA whilst he actually has shared care (a lot of NRPs seem to forget this when they find a new partner).

tentickles666

thanks RAS, there is not enough money left over each month to rent even a bedsite hence me thinking about the offer of the free room. One of our big rows was when this house was bought that we couldnt afford to live in it and have any kind of life. My gut instinct says this house needs to be sold but he says he wants to move back home if thats the case. its such a mess

HappyMJ

helenathena wrote: »

thanks RAS, there is not enough money left over each month to rent even a bedsite hence me thinking about the offer of the free room. One of our big rows was when this house was bought that we couldnt afford to live in it and have any kind of life. My gut instinct says this house needs to be sold but he says he wants to move back home if thats the case. its such a mess

The house does not "need" to be sold. Now is a bad time to be selling anyway. You can live in it and claim benefits. You may get the interest paid on the mortgage so it won't be forcibly sold. Does he want to leave and move back home or will he stay on as long as possible? You can't really force him to leave the house he part owns. It's a who goes first situation and it sounds like you want to give up first. If you want to stay out of the way as much as possible by staying with the friend occasionally and finding better work for yourself and he's willing to pay for everything then I don't see why it can't stay as it is for the short term. The kids would have stability knowing they will be living where they are for much longer.

If you have seperated and still live under the same roof you can claim job seekers allowance now but expect a lot of questions on your living and financial arrangements.