giving vouchers or money as presents, how much to give?

aggypanthus

My nephew is getting married soon, he is quite a close family member, not a distant nephew as some of us have. I am not attending the wedding for my own health reasons, with that in mind I dont know how much to give them as a present, in vouchers or money, they have a home so thats the best idea, they also have very well paid jobs, more than us! He is my elder sisters lad, and she is well of and dont want her to think we are meanies!
My other sister also earns a lot, she and her son and oH are attending and are giving them £200. the wedding is costing £50 a head btw!
When his brother got married 5 years ago, family were giving him ave £100 as gift.

So any young folks here, what would you expect as a wedding gift?


Same question as to new baby gift, for his brothers first child?
some of the family are buying them expensive baby goods, i dont want to spend that much.

PS, when i got married 12 years ago, elder sister brought the family of 5, and she gave me a gift worth £50 which I thougth was mean as she is loaded!

crazyguy

It is up to you what you give and dont go by what others are giving simply give what you can afford.

JimmyTheWig

Do they live quite a way from you?
Would it have cost you quite a bit to get there plus overnight stay, etc, had you been going?
Why not give them the equivalent of that as a gift?

In terms of the baby gift, I'd say get something personal for the baby. E.g. a nice ornament for a shelf in their room - something they can always keep and know as they grow up that their auntie bought that for them.

rachbc

Give what you can afford - it doesn't matter what others give or what you got in the past. It seems odd that you would be equating the cost per head of the wedding and the no of people attending against the value of the gift received. Maybe because you have saved them money by not attending you don't need to give them anything, conversely it hasn't cost you anything to go so maybe you give them more but I had never considered a gift in these terms before. Nor would the income of the recipient or their family affect the gift I give.

zcrat41

I a youngster who recently got married. I didn't know what to expect in terms of presents. We had some relatives spend over £500 (close aunts and uncle) but had some who spent £50. I didn't "expect" anything, it was wonderful to be given anything at all. TBH - I wouldn't give cash - I think its much nicer to have something that someone has given you. I will always remember for example, Great Auntie betty who gave us a silver butter spoon off our gift list.

don't let family competition dictate how much you give - give what you feel is appropriate.

Haven't got to the baby stage yet so can't really give an opinion on that!!!

Plans_all_plans

Right well here's the perspective of a fairly newly married young person:

We had a gift list, but most people gave money. Our aunts and uncles wedding presents ranged from £700 from one of my aunts, down to nothing (from one of my husband's uncles, who'd travelled to attend the wedding) We also had an eldery relative ring up and say they couldn't attend because they couldn't afford to get us a present and felt bad about it. I was more concerned that they might not be there than us not having a present, so they came without one. I was just glad people came to share the day.

Go only with what you can afford. Remember the bride and groom will just be happy to see you there and to be honest no-one but they will know how much youve given. I certainly didn't ring my mum up and tell her how much people gave us!!! How crass would that be?!

In any event, if they are the type to turn their noses up at "anything less than £100" they don't deserve your money anyway!

Baby gifts: when our daughter was first born, no-one gave money, just presents. For her Baptism, people gave money as well as the usual Bibles etc - I think the most was about £150, down to a tenner. Again though, I think people prefer presents over money. In every family there are people who can afford more than others, don't feel bad and don't discuss your gifts with others, just go with what you can afford.

JimmyTheWig

Plans_all_plans wrote: »

and to be honest no-one but they will know how much youve given.

I'm not sure that's the case in the OP's family!

*Louise*

aggypanthus wrote: »

So any young folks here, what would you expect as a wedding gift?

'Expect nothing, then you won't be disappointed'

We got married in 2009 and gifts mostly ranged from £50-£100 cash or vouchers from people. Some people didn't give us anything (come to think of it, that was our 4 siblings) but one sister looked after our children for us during and after the wedding which was the best gift she could have given us (we did pay for all the hotel and travel expense to say thank you)

OP, give what you can afford. There is no point giving £200 to 'keep up with the Joneses' if you are then going to struggle for the next while yourself. If you can afford £50, then give that......what would you have given if you hadn't heard about your other sisters gift (who I think is just showing off by telling you btw)

aggypanthus

JimmyTheWig wrote: »

I'm not sure that's the case in the OP's family!

Spot on,

Thanks for all the helpful replies. they are quite near so no expensive travel would have been involved, we are in fact going to the venue to see them get wed, just not staying for the reception or eve party.
My sis wasnt bragging we just talked about the wedding in general, she is very geneous anyway and we are closest of all 4 sisters.
I can afford a reasonable spend, and of course I haved saved money on an outfit.:D

A personal baby gift is a nice idea,I just didnt want to add to a load of photo frames or cuddly toys. I thought of a little outfit from next and £20 in a card for the babys bank?

We have another wedding next year, same venue by chance, the girl we have known 22 years since she was born, so very close, they said they dont want anyone to feel they have to give a present, but they want to find a wy of asking for a few US dollars instead so they can have a great honeymoon. they wont be having a gift list anywhere. they say they woud be so grateful if anyone wanted to give them as little as a tenner.
They dont really care, as all they want is to share the day with those closest.

Some people do actually equate a present spend with the cost per head of having you as a guest.! I agree its what a person can afford.

My brother and partner are free loaders, they came to mine and made merry, no present!! they did the same to sisters wedding .

Gillyx

Can't comment on wedding, I'd say give what you can afford, if it's vouchers or cash they will more than likely club all the things they get together to buy something "big"

On the baby front, I'm due my first in February and have purchased quite a lot of things already, so I'd prefer if people gave us gift vouchers, as it means I won't have 50 vests/baby grows in size 0-3 and when baby does need clothes in bigger sizes I can use the vouchers to buy things I need

claire16c

I got married this year, I have 2 sets of aunts/uncles and they both gave us £200. Which I was suprised at as I was not expecting that much. We got married abroad in the US, and one set came and the other didnt.

The rest of our guests gave us money too around $50-150, and a few vouchers to spend when we came home. We found that much better as we have lived together for years. So I really didnt want to end up with 80 champagne glasses or do a guest list for the sake of it - we have a house full of stuff already and I didnt really think that replacing all the duvet covers, cushions and kitchen stuff was a good use of money. Id much rather buy stuff like that in a sale instead of full price on a list.