Girl, 23, Debt Free Wannabe

Squidge123

Hi Sunshine.

I just wanted to welcome you to the board. I'm going to subscribe to your diary and keep following your journey.

Purple_Sunshine

Thank You

Purple_Sunshine

Friday 21st October

Decided to write in purple today

Had a couple of Ebay lots sell for more than I expected Bought some branded cosmetics in Poundland, and one of them I listed on Ebay sold for over £6, and I have saved up sample sachets from magazines and through the post for a few weeks, and got nearly £2

Also hoping to do a boot sale on Sunday....not looking forward to the early start as I don't finish work til nearly midnight on Saturday but looking forward to clearing some cr*p for cash!

The only problem I am facing is that family seem to have no faith in me. I am working hard to sell things, yet I am getting moaned at for having things in boxes whilst they are up for sale. My parents have opened my bank statements when they arrive in the post without my permission, and are having digs at me and comparing me to my (much more highly paid) sister. I am getting a payrise soon, but no congratulations from them, just a comment about me managing to mess it up. I confided in my parents about my struggle (expecting it to be confidential), but no, my mum has decided that my struggle is a nice bit of gossip for the rest of the family and friends. I am making some cakes for people and making some money for a little hobby but surprise surprise, my mum is moaning about it. Every time I make savings, save some money, or make some money I get shot down in flames. No idea why they feel the need to criticise and spread gossip, but obviously my struggles and efforts are hugely entertaining to that lot.

ZTD

Purple_Sunshine wrote: »

The only problem I am facing is that family seem to have no faith in me. I am working hard to sell things, yet I am getting moaned at for having things in boxes whilst they are up for sale. My parents have opened my bank statements when they arrive in the post without my permission,

Whoa there! Who do they think they are?

Get one of your friends to send you a gay !!!!!! picture with "Mind your own business." written on it. If it's bad enough, you'll be able to open a pet shop because your mother will have kittens.

Purple_Sunshine wrote: »

and are having digs at me and comparing me to my (much more highly paid) sister. I am getting a payrise soon, but no congratulations from them, just a comment about me managing to mess it up. I confided in my parents about my struggle (expecting it to be confidential), but no, my mum has decided that my struggle is a nice bit of gossip for the rest of the family and friends.

Some parents live through their children. Their children will have the life and achievements that they did not have, and woe-betide them if they don't. At that point they start to get the kicks in to try to boost their own self-esteem. If you suddenly land a shiit-hot job, you'll get the toadying "We always knew you were wonderful" kind of stuff.

Purple_Sunshine wrote: »

I am making some cakes for people and making some money for a little hobby but surprise surprise, my mum is moaning about it. Every time I make savings, save some money, or make some money I get shot down in flames. No idea why they feel the need to criticise and spread gossip, but obviously my struggles and efforts are hugely entertaining to that lot.

It's because you're trying to better yourself and drag yourself out of the hole you're in. This may end up proving your parents talk utter crap. They obviously don't like the sound of that. They are trying to drag you down because they feel more comfortable with you there.

Sorry if it seems I'm having a big downer on your parents, but bad parents boil certain liquids for me...

savingholmes

Hi Purple

Well done on all the efforts you are making to take back control of your money and sort things out

Sorry your family are being quite toxic. They have no right to open your mail - and in fact they are acting illegally in doing so.... hard to enforce I appreciate

When we change - those around us have got comfortable with a certain status quo - and us changing upsets their balance - and they unconsciously start to give off a message of "change back" so THEY know where they stand in relation to you. Runaway bride is quite a good film to watch which illustrates this.... or Muriel's wedding or even My big fat greek wedding.... Once you get to a certain point tho - like ZTD says the pendulum should start to rebalance in your direction and they will hopefully become more supportive....

Try to stick with it in the meantime!

Purple_Sunshine

Ha ha ZTD, I'm loving the !!!!!! mail plan! Evil plotting now lol....I do feel better now, I'm just focussing on my goals and sod the rest of them until they want to have faith!

Thank you savingholmes, it feels good to be doing something and having a focus is really helping me to chill out a bit!

Purple_Sunshine

Sunday 23rd October

Woke up early to do a boot sale, and it was worth it as I made nearly £50 out of little junk pieces I just threw in a few boxes! Hoping to do another one next week and hopefully dig out a few more old bits to sell. Payday a week on Monday and then the proper hard work to pay off debts. I want to be debt free by 25, but who knows, if I really push myself then it may be well before that. And then it'l be on to saving up to hopefully get a place one day.

snozberry

You know I have never thought of buying branded make-up items from poundshops and selling them on for profit. That is damn good thinking. Don't worry too much about your parents. Mine prefer my sister to me and, although it really hurt (and still does now), I turned it into a positive by concentrating on my goals. This was some years ago mind and things haven't changed. I'm the one with the career yet I can't remember they were genuinely nice to me. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger. Just you remember that.

Purple_Sunshine

I will thank you. And with the make up, I thought I'd give it a go and it worked! Got a lot more than I expected too!

Purple_Sunshine

Friday 28th October

Stress!! Trying to pay off Quick quid in full using a Credit card, but apparently their system doesn't support credit card payments over the phone, so they've sent me a link which keeps going wrong. I keep calling them and telling them but all the advice is to keep trying. I have never known such an unhelpful lot and its starting to stress me out!