Anyone else feel like there are never going to manage it?

Miss_Bolan

Hi everyone

I know there must be other people floating about on MSE who is the same boat as me!

I just feel like, no matter how hard I try, I can't get my savings together for my wedding. It's always one thing after another, emgerency dental treatment, the car breaks etc etc and my savings get whacked.

I am doing all the overtime I can to save money every month, and I am planning on doing the whole wedding for under £2k, but even that seems an impossible goal at the moment! Especially as they have just cut our overtime at work so we are only allowed to work it on weekdays - which means working 50 hours monday to friday to get my hours in!

We are getting married next April and I have about £400 saved. So far our set costs are up to £1700 and that doesn't include mens suits, bridesmaids dresses, decorations for the hall. I know I can do these on the cheap and I plan on diy-ing things, but because I don't have my wedding savings anywhere near at the level I had hoped for I find myself constantly distracted and unable to concentrate on what I need to do because I am worrying so much that I don't have enough saved.

Is anyone else in the same boat? I just want to look forward to my wedding!

maybe it's just the monday blues... any support/advice appreciated!

74jax

Miss_Bolan wrote: »

Hi everyone

I know there must be other people floating about on MSE who is the same boat as me!

I just feel like, no matter how hard I try, I can't get my savings together for my wedding. It's always one thing after another, emgerency dental treatment, the car breaks etc etc and my savings get whacked.

I am doing all the overtime I can to save money every month, and I am planning on doing the whole wedding for under £2k, but even that seems an impossible goal at the moment! Especially as they have just cut our overtime at work so we are only allowed to work it on weekdays - which means working 50 hours monday to friday to get my hours in!

We are getting married next April and I have about £400 saved. So far our set costs are up to £1700 and that doesn't include mens suits, bridesmaids dresses, decorations for the hall. I know I can do these on the cheap and I plan on diy-ing things, but because I don't have my wedding savings anywhere near at the level I had hoped for I find myself constantly distracted and unable to concentrate on what I need to do because I am worrying so much that I don't have enough saved.

Is anyone else in the same boat? I just want to look forward to my wedding!

maybe it's just the monday blues... any support/advice appreciated!

Could you maybe pay for things as they come up, so you don't have the moment 'for other things'?

you say you are up to £1700 at the moment, can you pay the £400 off this now? Or use the £400 to buy your diy bits.

Some people aren't saver's and no matter how good the intention (or impending deadline) just can't do it. But I think if you use the £400 you have now for the wedding, and buy as you go, you could be ok?

Dekazer

I'm not sure I have much practical advice to offer, but didn't want to read and run. It's such hard work saving for and planning a wedding - I think lots of people underestimate it. I certainly wish people would cut me some slack sometimes! This place is certainly the place to be for good money saving ideas - do you use the other forums here too? There are loads of ways to earn extra bits and bobs. E.g. have you done Ebaying before? People will buy all sorts of things - it's definitely worth the effort.

As for feeling blue, have you had any wedding related fun yet? A few things have really helped me enjoy the planning a bit more. E.g. I loved making the invitations using Vistaprint, and it hardly cost me anything - are there any nice jobs you can make a start on?

Sounds like you're working blooming hard at the moment - good luck with everything - I really hope things start to get a bit easier soon xx

jonty1970

I do. Our wedding is 18 months away.
I will properly get down to it next year.

I have already bought my dress, tiara and earrings.

The main worry for me is the food and how to pay for that.

I keep saying to myself "It's only 1 day"
You wouldn't worry this much if it was just a party, so I tell myself it's just a bigger party with posher clothes.

And ask people to help.
My sister is being a great help. She just says "we will sort it and help"

And good luck!

MaggieBaking

I find it a good idea to set out your monthly budget and set aside a high level each month to go first from your salary and then work out what you can spend that month.

What doesn't help is when you have savings it's tempted to spend the "emergency" fund on emergencies, but it sounds like setting money aside for dental work and car repairs should be set into your budget already, with wedding savings being additional to those savings anyway.

My husband worked out for us our average yearly spends on everything - entertainment budget, car etc. So that we know we have an MOT, tax, insurance to pay for our car as well as £200 repair fund. These don't get spent every month so we set aside a monthly amount into our "bills" account which should always have a healthy surplus apart from those months when the big spends come! We have a present fund set aside into another account at a certain amount each month - so it doesn't matter when we have months with no birthdays, and then we have 3 birthdays and Christmas in December.

It also means we have the money to spend when great deals come up a little sooner than I'd have naturally bought it. Using Groupon offers and Tesco Clubcard vouchers means I can get evenings out and little treats so that when money's feeling tight I've got a little treat all lined up. Tomorrow we're going for a Groupon night out I bought a couple of months ago and saved it. Our anniversary present I bought almost 6 months in advance. With Tesco I ordered some vouchers a while ago that we're hoping to use to take my parents out for a treat.

I do understand how hard it is, we had an £800 dentist bill to pay a month before our wedding. But as I hadn't been to the dentist in a while we were prepared for a spend. Our car also needed some work doing which got done whilst we were on honeymoon - but we had budgeted for it all year.

Don't forget that for your wedding people around you will love you and want to do the best for you. I've offered my close friends when they got married to give them wedding money earlier if they needed it, I asked some people for ours if they could provide a service in lieu of a present. I didn't have any room in the budget for bridesmaids but I knew my sisters were planning on getting new dresses for my nieces. I spoke to them and offered them money towards what the girls wore but apologised saying I didn't have the time or the finances in getting them dresses. In the end my sisters were able to arrange it all themselves with no input from me and my "token" covered all of it - they helped me to be able to afford bridesmaids after all Perhaps with your bridesmaids you could say "I'm really sorry but budget's tight - I'd be happy if you wore any black dress and I can give you £30 towards your outfit. The stress of trying to find 3 really cheap dresses that match all bridesmaids will be gone and they will be happy - after all you can spend anything from £20-£200 on a nice dress, and they can wear what they're comfortable in.

I'd be happy to bake cakes, create (and pay) for table decorations for my nearest and dearest, is there someone you know who you could ask for help? With Christmas coming up you can always ask anyone who traditionally gets you presents if they could get you something wedding related instead? Like asking your parents to buy you some place name cards for the wedding or tissue paper to make decorations... http://www.marthastewartweddings.com/article/pom-poms-and-luminarias

VICSH

I felt exactly like this the first few months of being engaged. I am not a saver but o/h is and between us we have saved most of the wedding budget. I found/ find paying for things a bit a month from my salary helps my florst said we can pay her £25 a month up to the wedding so there wasnt a bit hit against our savings.
Try Ebay, I sold loads of stuff and kept the money in Paypal whihc then went on to pay for other things for the wedding I needed to pay for.
Maybe you could write a list on everything you need to buy/ pay for and then slowly pay things off of each of them? If you cant pay for them now jsut put a bit of money in a month against each thing OR maybe when you get paid your overtime put that striaght into another account as it is not money you are used to like your salary?

bubbles0169

have you done an SOA to make sure you are spending only the minimum amount possible on your outgoings? make sure you have researched all of the best deals for your utilities(using cash back sites where possible)
why is your salary being used to cover emergencies? whats your oh paying for?
have you cut out all unnecessary spending, that shop bought sandwhich/coffee all mounts up
have a look at all the tips for demotivating and getting the best deals from EVERYTHING you buy

Miss_Bolan

Thanks everyone for your replies!

I know that, for some reason, I am not a great saver. I don't understand why really becuase I am not a big spender either. I haven't had a hair cut in 12 months because it seems a lot of money to spend at once, and the only clothes I ever buy come from boot fairs and charity shops, the last time I went in a shop and actually bought new clothes was in February, and that was using vouchers I got for my birthday!

I don't know how to get my savings in order, I wish I knew where I was going wrong. My partner is absoultely rubbish with money and I manage the whole house budget, including his account most of the time!

I think I may take some of the advice though, rather than waiting to pay off all of the wedding bills 6 weeks before (when most of them are due) maybe I'll use what I have got to pay off what is due already, so at least while my savings will look rubbish my 'amount due' will be less!

I have sold a few bits on ebay, I am going to leave the money in my paypal for anything that comes up which I can get off ebay.

I plan to do my invites this weekend (I have all of the paper etc to make them and most of the stamps) so at least that willl be something I can tick off, maybe it will get me motivated again!

Thanks everyone for your help and advice

bubbles0169

http://www.makesenseofcards.com/soacalc.html
this will help you see whats going on, keep your reciept for everything you buy then fill this in
thats good that your not extravagant but its also baffling as to why you dont know where your money is lol
post it back if you want any more help after youve done it x

MaggieBaking

I had a similar problem with money, not knowing what I was spending but feeling like I lived relatively cheap and yet it all went anyway. Fortunately hubby got a tight grip on our finances with budgeting etc. A couple of years ago we transitioned to spending everything possible on our debit card so that we can easily track our money and outgoings. We use Love Money to budget it all up, you just need to tell it once that payments to Tescos are groceries and to Tesco Forecourts are petrol and it automatically remembers each time and updates. All gets shown up in a v handy pie chart to show you exactly what proportion of your outgoings is spent on what.

And as a quick Money Saving tip - I took the MSE Finance IQ test and it said if you downgrade each grocery item to a brand down, you could save £1700 a year. Something to think about

Margey

Work out what you get every month, so food, bills etc. and then leave a certain amount of money aside for emergencies, or just in case. Then the rest you can put into savings. Try and be really strict on yourself. Things are expensive nowadays and its tough even saving for a holiday. You have some time left to save. So just work it out (which might be depressing, so maybe don't do it on a monday ) and then see how much you can save.

Your goin to have a lovely day, whether you have spent a lot of money or not!