Anyone else feel like there are never going to manage it?

catlovin_gal11

I find it so awful, that in these cash strapped times, people still feel they have to spend so much on a wedding, and don't even have much enjoment out of planning it. I think the fun of it is, to have a fun day where everyone can enjoy, without spending so much. It doesn't have to be all bells and whistles for you to have a great day. Friends of ours got married on our local beach (lucky it was a good day!), hired a marquee cheap and had the celebrations in their parents back garden. There are ways and means round it. Chat up a small pub and see what they can do for you. See what you really do want to spend the money on and cut the costs elsewhere. Don't end up feeling pressured to spend money you don't have , or else you won't enjoy the day. It should be a day to enjoy and have fun, not worry about the expense of it. Hope you have a great day of it Miss Bolan!

Miss_Bolan

catlovin_gal11 wrote: »

I find it so awful, that in these cash strapped times, people still feel they have to spend so much on a wedding, and don't even have much enjoment out of planning it. I think the fun of it is, to have a fun day where everyone can enjoy, without spending so much. It doesn't have to be all bells and whistles for you to have a great day. Friends of ours got married on our local beach (lucky it was a good day!), hired a marquee cheap and had the celebrations in their parents back garden. There are ways and means round it. Chat up a small pub and see what they can do for you. See what you really do want to spend the money on and cut the costs elsewhere. Don't end up feeling pressured to spend money you don't have , or else you won't enjoy the day. It should be a day to enjoy and have fun, not worry about the expense of it. Hope you have a great day of it Miss Bolan!

Thanks catlovin gal, trust me the wedding is being done on the minimum amount of money possible! We have approximately 150 guests (about 20 of which are children) - we have big families and to us there is no point in a wedding unless family and friends are there! So we are doing what we can for this many people using as little pennies as possible.

So far our costs set in stone (and paid) are as follows:

Ceremony venue: £555 (£100 paid £455 to go)
Registrar: £330
Intention to marry notice £0.00 (£67 paid already)
Recepeption venue: £120 (£170 total, £50 paid)
Photographer: £100 (£250 total, £150 paid)
Wedding Dress: £0 (£90 total, paid for)
Invites: £0 (£20 total, paper, ink for printer etc, paid for already)

The other costs which are not set in stone, but are estimated are:
£500 - catering (buffet style food, OH cousin has a catering business)
£120 - £180 bridesmaids/flower girl dresses x 7 (if they cost more than this my BM's are insisting on paying the difference)
£150 wine - for the reception and after ceremony drinks
£150 - suits x 3 (possibly 4) but this is a complete estimation as we are likely to get 2nd hand/ebay suits as the style my partner wants is not typical wedding style, so I think renting is out.
£50 rings (maximum cost cheap for now, maybe one day we will get 'better' ones!)

Anything not on the list is being done through friends and with blagging favours (i.e. DJ is a family friend, if I have a cake my friend is making it, a friend - or maybe me - are altering my dress etc). Our wedding has a recycled/eco friendly/book theme and we are trying todo what we can to decorate the hall using recycled items. I am not bothering with booking cars etc - i'll get a taxi if I have to!

Overall, I am aiming for the whole wedding to come in at about £2k.I know the main place in the budget to save money would be:

a) invite less people - for us this is not an option, our wedding is about the joing of two people and two families - need our guests to make our day what it is.

b) The ceremony venue - I know this is expensive, and a registry office would be a 10th of the price, but I have to make a decision here - do I get married somewhere because it's cheap, or somewhere meaningful? For me and my OH, it is very important it means something special, we love our ceremony venue, it's special for us, and for my soon to be step-children.

Shockingly this is the first time I have written down my estimated costs for things I haven't yet paid for - I know I have missed things! Can anyone see anything glaring I am missing?

bubbles0169

Are you having a DJ? are you having flowers? does the cake come under catering?
i know these arent essentials(apart from transport!) but it depends if you do want to include them or not

Miss_Bolan

bubbles0169 wrote: »

Are you having a DJ? are you having flowers? does the cake come under catering?
i know these arent essentials(apart from transport!) but it depends if you do want to include them or not

My nieces dad is a DJ and is kindly doing the music for free :-) flowers I am hand making from book pages/fabric and I am not really bothered about having a cake, but I have a friend who bakes who is very insistent on making one! So if I do have one it'll be from her

Scarily I have sat and done a list after using this thread https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/3574085 and the results are a lot more than I think I have given thought to! Below are what I have put in as estimated costs (where there is a dash this is being hand made or given to us!). There is no honeymoon as we are kindly being given this as a wedding gift from my in laws to be!

£50.00Wedding rings
£100 Bridal gown
£30 Veil/headpiece
£30 Shoes
£30 Jewelry
£- Garter
£2 Hosiery
£75 Groom's Suit
£25 Groom's shoes
£100 Groomsmen
£180 Bridemaids/flower girls
£- Bows for seating
£60Table centerpieces
£15 Archway
£30 Lighting (fairy lights)
£- Bouquets
£- Boutonnières
£- Corsages
£550 Ceremony
£170 Reception
£- Band/DJ for reception
£250 Photographer
£- Videography
£- Tables and chairs
£500 Food
£150 Drinks/wine
£30 Linens/tablecloth
£- Cake
£50 Favors
£30 Invitations
£- Table setting
£10 Guest book
£5 Reception napkins
£50 Plates/cutlery
£7 Parking
£15 Taxis
£67 Intention to marry
£330 Officiant
£30 Hair & Make-up
£100 Bachelor/ette parties
£50 Hotel rooms
£50.00 New glasses
£75.00 Passport
£47 Registrar fees on the day
TOTAL £3,293.00

So far I have paid £529 towards things, but on this estimate I am looking at £2775 still to go!! I have over-estimated on everything in this budget, and have not included the little things which I want, but I think will now have to be put on the back burner (like a sweet buffet and photo booth). But the estimated costs are WAYYY more than I had in my head - it looks like it's time for a rethink....

wanchai_2

If it's any consolation, you are doing so well with your budget and should be proud!!! I wish mine was coming in that cheap.

Having said that, we are only spending what we can afford.

sugarwalsh

Why not ask your bridesmaids to buy their own dresses? It might not sound 'traditional', but I think it is fair - especially with 7 of them! My bridesmaids (2,3 and 14) all have different dresses in white. They will wear white tights and shoes, pretty hair accessories and they all hae a wrap. I have paid for some parts, but their mothers (I'm the mum to the 3 year old!) are very happy to get shoes/tights/accessories. Basically I said that I would prefer them in a lighter colour, but the most important part was they were happy in their dresses. This only really effected the 14 year old, but I know it gave her real joy to choose her own dress etc. for flowers they will carry a few stems of fake sweetpeas each, costing about £4.50 each. That way I wont get upset if I see them throwing them around etc!!

A friend of mine couldn't afford her bridesmaids dresses so they all wore black dresses they already owned and her mum made some matching shawls from a pretty bit of lace. They looked beautiful as they all had dresses which suited their individual styles yet the shawls pulled the look together.

Megan

Idiophreak

Miss_Bolan wrote: »

There is no honeymoon as we are kindly being given this as a wedding gift from my in laws to be!

Not meaning to be gloomy, but be 100% sure of what they're paying for.

My parents paid for flights, accommodation, hire car and a fair amount of activities.

We paid for:
Change of name to passport
Visa applications (well, ESTA, but y'know)
Plug adapters
Sun cream, bug spray, medicines etc
New clothes
Gas for the car
Plenty of meals out, extra activities etc
Presents / souvenirs
Digital camcorder
Memory cards
Restocking the fridge on return...

And it goes on...thankfully we covered a good deal of this with survey vouchers, tesco points and wedding gifts..But you need to be aware how many, if any, of these things you need/want to budget for

sugarwalsh

Maybe you could take the honeymoon at a later date when you have recovered financially from the wedding! You may also find you spend the first few days recovering from all the excitement and not really relaxing and enjoying it!

Megan