Anyone else feel like there are never going to manage it?

Dorisx

I dont think it matters what in particular you're saving for, your savings always seem to get eaten up by something that you wernt saving for in the first place! With me and my OH we had saved up enough to move into our first rented flat - we spent that and kept some 'aside for rainy days' .. the car broke and used our 'rainy day fund'. We started saving for our house deposit, we decided we'd have a small cheap holiday, the holiday itslef was cheap, being there however turned out to be ALOT more expensive than we expected so once again savings where wiped out! Although to be totally honest we probably shouldnt have went on holiday when we where suppossed to be saving and I really have no excuse for my savings going but all I'm trying to say is it doesnt matter if your saving for a wedding, a car, a rainy day ect if you remind yourself that the savings are there then the first problem that occurs you'll use your savings - try and think what you would have done had you not had those savings and do that! ... I know sometimes that seems like it isnt possible but if you didnt save before then what would you have done if the car broke ect?! .. .Im not saying go and get loans ect btw! lol - it just seems anything that goes wrong I always turn to my savings straight away because its the 'easy option' if you get me.x

anibell

Hi everyone

I know there must be other people floating about on MSE who is the same boat as me!

I just feel like, no matter how hard I try, I can't get my savings together for my wedding. It's always one thing after another, emgerency dental treatment, the car breaks etc etc and my savings get whacked.

I am doing all the overtime I can to save money every month, and I am planning on doing the whole wedding for under £2k, but even that seems an impossible goal at the moment! Especially as they have just cut our overtime at work so we are only allowed to work it on weekdays - which means working 50 hours monday to friday to get my hours in!

We are getting married next April and I have about £400 saved. So far our set costs are up to £1700 and that doesn't include mens suits, bridesmaids dresses, decorations for the hall. I know I can do these on the cheap and I plan on diy-ing things, but because I don't have my wedding savings anywhere near at the level I had hoped for I find myself constantly distracted and unable to concentrate on what I need to do because I am worrying so much that I don't have enough saved.

Is anyone else in the same boat? I just want to look forward to my wedding!

maybe it's just the monday blues... any support/advice appreciated!

I know how you feel....been feeling the same lately But I'm lucky to have a very supportive fiance who is always able to calm me down.
You should be very proud of yourself that you've managed to save some money and you will get there As other people have suggested I would be inclined to pay that money now (and get a receipt!) It'll look good having a smaller bill to pay
Do the men have a suit they can wear as apposed to buying a new one? Do the bridesmaids have similar coloured dresses in their wardrobes they can wear? I'm not having bridesmaids as (a) I can't choose between 5 people (b) I can't afford to have 5 bridesmaids and (c) if I choose one or two people I would be upsetting the rest and can't have that as I am very close to all of them. I'm having 2 flowergirls and they are going to wear their own dresses so saving on that too. I got my wedding dress off ebay, brand new with £300 price tag still attached , for £31 and it's lovely so bargain! And I'm doing my own invites too.
I know it's sounds boring to do but when I really need to save I write everything down on a monthly basis. Write down what you have coming in that month, your essential bills and look at what you have left after paying it out. Look at a realistic (and I stress realistic!) figure you could save and stick to it. Yes I know boring, boring, boring but it works for me.

Miss_Bolan

anibell wrote: »

I know how you feel....been feeling the same lately But I'm lucky to have a very supportive fiance who is always able to calm me down.
You should be very proud of yourself that you've managed to save some money and you will get there As other people have suggested I would be inclined to pay that money now (and get a receipt!) It'll look good having a smaller bill to pay
Do the men have a suit they can wear as apposed to buying a new one? Do the bridesmaids have similar coloured dresses in their wardrobes they can wear? I'm not having bridesmaids as (a) I can't choose between 5 people (b) I can't afford to have 5 bridesmaids and (c) if I choose one or two people I would be upsetting the rest and can't have that as I am very close to all of them. I'm having 2 flowergirls and they are going to wear their own dresses so saving on that too. I got my wedding dress off ebay, brand new with £300 price tag still attached , for £31 and it's lovely so bargain! And I'm doing my own invites too.
I know it's sounds boring to do but when I really need to save I write everything down on a monthly basis. Write down what you have coming in that month, your essential bills and look at what you have left after paying it out. Look at a realistic (and I stress realistic!) figure you could save and stick to it. Yes I know boring, boring, boring but it works for me.

I have sent a chqeue to the photographer today for £100, I only owe him another £100 and then he's paid (I have a very reasonably priced photographer!). I feel better already having done something proactive The only reason I am not paying off more as you have all suggested is because my savings are all in a local credit union (they come directly out of my wages into that account) so getting to the place to get the money out is a mission as they have one branch and you have to physically go there to get the money, and when I am only having half hour lunches because of my overtime it doesn't give me much chance. This £100 wasn't in that account though so I am using it for now.

Me and my OH are going to make invites this weekend and I am really looking forward to getting them done and sent.

I am afraid I am being a bit greedy with bridesmaids, I am having 3 adults (my sisters and best friend) and 3 flower girls (my niece, niece-to-be and step-daughter-to-be). However, my sisters and friend are insisting on helping towards the cost of their own dresses if we can't find anyting in budget that they like (and by budget I mean £20 or £30!), but I am quite relaxed about what they actually wear and we are all going to go shopping in the January sales to get dresses everyone likes! We also have to get a dress for my partners best woman, who is his sister. As for my flower girls I am thinking of getting fairy girl outfits for them (probably off ebay) so they won't cost much.

Suits are a bit more of a problem, we don't need many, but my partner wants something a bit different (retro style 50's wasitcoat etc) so we may fine something second hand, but then it's finding something my dad and the one usher can wear that's similar! I am ebay hunting for that too :-)

Your dress sounds like a bargain anibell! Mine was only £90 but does need some work, I am considering doing it myself

I have written a 'budget' many many times, but never seem to be able to stick to it, there always seems to be something which the budget has not considered! I know I must be better though, I think this will also be an activity this weekend, making a budget we can actually stick to!

anibell

I have sent a chqeue to the photographer today for £100, I only owe him another £100 and then he's paid (I have a very reasonably priced photographer!). I feel better already having done something proactive The only reason I am not paying off more as you have all suggested is because my savings are all in a local credit union (they come directly out of my wages into that account) so getting to the place to get the money out is a mission as they have one branch and you have to physically go there to get the money, and when I am only having half hour lunches because of my overtime it doesn't give me much chance. This £100 wasn't in that account though so I am using it for now.

Me and my OH are going to make invites this weekend and I am really looking forward to getting them done and sent.

I am afraid I am being a bit greedy with bridesmaids, I am having 3 adults (my sisters and best friend) and 3 flower girls (my niece, niece-to-be and step-daughter-to-be). However, my sisters and friend are insisting on helping towards the cost of their own dresses if we can't find anyting in budget that they like (and by budget I mean £20 or £30!), but I am quite relaxed about what they actually wear and we are all going to go shopping in the January sales to get dresses everyone likes! We also have to get a dress for my partners best woman, who is his sister. As for my flower girls I am thinking of getting fairy girl outfits for them (probably off ebay) so they won't cost much.

Suits are a bit more of a problem, we don't need many, but my partner wants something a bit different (retro style 50's wasitcoat etc) so we may fine something second hand, but then it's finding something my dad and the one usher can wear that's similar! I am ebay hunting for that too :-)

Your dress sounds like a bargain anibell! Mine was only £90 but does need some work, I am considering doing it myself

I have written a 'budget' many many times, but never seem to be able to stick to it, there always seems to be something which the budget has not considered! I know I must be better though, I think this will also be an activity this weekend, making a budget we can actually stick to!

You seem to be getting there Credit unions are a great way to save - the fact you can't actually get there to withdraw money could be a blessing in disguise :rotfl:(Reminds me I need to open an account)
Your ideas for the bridesmaids dresses and flower girl outfits sound great. My niece to be and my friend's daughter would love fairy outfits....mmmmm....can I pinch your idea please???? :rotfl: I've said to the parents that the girls can wear their own dresses but having second thoughts now!
I've bought a few things off ebay after selling several items myself. I think we only need 2 or 3 suits - for H2B, maybe best man and my son who's walking me down the aisle. Will be hitting the sales also which my son will love.....not! :rotfl:
I'm doing my own bouquet and will maybe do a little posy each for the flower girls (other flowers are included in venue and catering cost which overall was a lot cheaper than we initially thought) And yes...dress was a bargain and I absolutely love it. It arrived about 10 minutes before my son had to leave for school and his first word was 'wow' when I opened the parcel....he's not usually so easily impressed! It's brilliant that you want to do your dress yourself....have you thought about offering your services in exchange for a small fee? Just a thought. Good luck with the budget

White_Sapphire

I've had so many panics about the budget! I'ma a student so work part time (sometimes very part-time depending onthe hours available), and although we are extremely lucky in having parents who are able to contribute, we still want to pay for as much as possible ourselves.

I've also been worrying about sticking to the budget which itself I'm worried about raising funds for, so have concentrated this week on updating our spreadsheet with estimates for everything. We're over budget at the mo, but not by as much as I feared, so hopefully we'll be able to either cut back a bit or raise the extra.

If you do a detailed budget (include everything, including postage for invites), then you know where you stand. Even if it's not what you hoped you'll feel better for just having everything written down!

Miss_Bolan

Hi everyone, sorry to resurrect this thread but I'm feeling very down and need to write it somewhere in the hope that I will feel better.

2 bits of good news last week:

1) I passed my driving test (mainly I was relieved because I couldn't afford any more lessons or to retake the test!)

2) I have been given £500 towards my wedding (it's a long story, but in a roundabout way it's from my nan)

But, as is always the case, bad news follows good and I am back to square one! Bad news this week:

3) The car broke down on the way home from work on Tuesday. I have already spent £300 on it in the last 6 weeks as the clutch broke, and then something with the wheel bearings. This was something different - and of course not something cheap. It's the head gasket, it's going to cost £500 to fix at a garage! So now we are car-less, and trying to arrange fetching my partners kids on the nights with have them with the help of family. My dad is hoping he can fix it for around £100 with help, but it might be a long job and we might be looking at over a week for it to get fixed, and there's a chance he won't be able to. Which means a week of paying for a car park we aren't using, relying on buses (the service is rubbish) and inconviniencing friends and family by needing lifts to fetch the kids as it is literally impossible to do this on public transport! (and my partner's ex is being an absolute cow, as always, and will not even consider helping us even though we are frequently picking up the kids and dropping them at hers when she is ill/needs help - that's another story though!)

I am just so fed up, I understand that cars break, but why does it have to be a major breakdown every other month!! I know I should have a budget for it, but when you have the luck we do with cars (I have spent over £500 on car repairs this year) then the budget never builds up because it's always being used! (if anyone has the answer to this I am open to suggestions!)

I am fed up, I think this has been the final straw as I am struggling to try and be positive about it. I have been feeling physically unwell and very tearful since it happened, which I know is stupid. People have bigger problems and I do know this, and that's making me feel even worse because I know I am being stupid and selfish getting upset about it, but I just can't snap out of it.

Sorry, I know this is not very wedding-y, and I'll stop going on, hopefully writing it down will get it out of my system!!

sugarwalsh

Oh, what rotten luck. I really feel for you. We started out planning a cheap wedding and now it's not so cheap. I keep having minor panics, but there isn't much point really, what will be will be.

You said in an earlier post you have £400 towards wedding and you are now getting £500 from your gran. That doesn't leave you with so much to find between now and April. The best way I have found of paying off debt/starting to save is whenever I get money in my account (tax credits once a week, maintenance, child benefit, wages) I paid some off my debt and now I save it towards my wedding. It doesn't matter how small the payment, it soon starts to mount up. It is just a case of physically going on to my bank account and transferring it.

Also, have you expressed your concerns to you oh and family? They may have no idea you are so stressed and may be able to offer help.

MEgan

Miss_Bolan

sugarwalsh wrote: »

Oh, what rotten luck. I really feel for you. We started out planning a cheap wedding and now it's not so cheap. I keep having minor panics, but there isn't much point really, what will be will be.

You said in an earlier post you have £400 towards wedding and you are now getting £500 from your gran. That doesn't leave you with so much to find between now and April. The best way I have found of paying off debt/starting to save is whenever I get money in my account (tax credits once a week, maintenance, child benefit, wages) I paid some off my debt and now I save it towards my wedding. It doesn't matter how small the payment, it soon starts to mount up. It is just a case of physically going on to my bank account and transferring it.

Also, have you expressed your concerns to you oh and family? They may have no idea you are so stressed and may be able to offer help.

MEgan

Thanks Megan, I know this is good advice, I think what I am going to do is make a normal MSE budget plan as if I was paying off debt (which I also need to do, but that'll be after the wedding!) and then stick the 'spare' amount into savings instead. I am desperate not to get more in debt, I am trying to reduce it slowly while also saving for the wedding and it would make the last few months of reducing my debt pointless if I end up getting more in debt for the wedding!

I will see if I can do something constructive today, I am going to make some lists and spreadsheets and hopefully I'll feel more hopeful!

*Also edit to add my family are aware and have been brilliant, unfortunately everyone is on a budget (I always say it would be really nice if just one of us had a bit of spare cash!) but they have been supporting me how they can and I am very lucky to have them! x

lovecake

I think a lot of people are in the same boat! Try not to let it worry you too much - you should be enjoying your wedding planning!

You will probably be surprised at how many people are willing to help though! - My work mate is making the favours, my nanna is making the cake and a family friend is paying for my bouquet as a gift.

My tip would be to trawl the many fantastic wedding blogs for diy ideas - if you're not that creative you can get step by step guides to make stuff like invites, favours etc. I'm going to have a go at making my own birdcage veil :S

Maybe if you open an ISA with a standing order to go out of both of your accounts each month? Even if it's just for a smallk amount at least it will be something saved. There is a guide on here somewhere as to the best interest rates. We have a wedding ISA and get a few qiud each month in interest and every little helps! Also it means that you're not tempted to touch it as it's not as accessible as your regular accounts.

Hope some of the ideas on here have helped!

Good luck! Xx

lovecake

Here is where the ISA advice is - we went for the Northern Rock one, it was really easy to open online.

http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/savings/best-cash-isa