Court case worries

autumn23_2

Edit: update in post 18.

This is the only place I could think of posting this. Sorry if it is in the wrong forum but as this includes my H2B as well as me I thought this would be correct.

My H2B and I were the victims of a crime earlier this year. The case is going to crown court as the magistrates' court didn't think they were able to give the right sentance as it is not a first offence for the person and it was a very serious crime as well.
The evidence is strong - there is DNA evidence, we were able to describe the person exactly, our accounts match etc. but I am confused about if I should go to court or not.
The person after pleading not guilty at every other 'hearing' so far has decided to plead guilty at the hearing before the crown court case (if they hadn't my partner and I would have had to go to court but would have had 'measures' put in place for us). So we know the case is up soon but we are both not sure if we want to go to this case or not. We do not need to sit in court it is our choice if we do or don't.

We are both in two minds I am ashamed to say. There are many reasons (I am not listing all of them however)
a) the person questioned my H2B's sexuality during the crime!
b) the person was very agressive towards my partner and me
c) the person made sexual comments towards me
d) the person said about raping not just me but my H2B also
e) the crime involved a weapon

The incident has made me very anxious. We both have PTSD as a result of what happened (this has been diagnosed for both of us, it was seen as acute stress disorder at first but went on for much longer that it changed to PTSD).
Since it happened I have had a hard time sleeping, I don't go out as much, I'm worried about my H2B if he is out longer than he says he will be, I get 'jumpy' when I hear loud sounds etc. I also can't forget what was said, the face of the person, what the person did etc. It is getting out of hand as to all of the mental distress I am enduring.

I have seen a shrink about this but it has made very little differece. I refuse to use medication because my mother is on medication very simular to what I would be put on and she has not been able to come off of them even though it has been a decade! I don't want to go down that route. Yes I feel horrid but I don't want to feel nothing like she does. My mother may smile but doesn't really 'feel' it if you understand what I am on about.

Anyway the main reason for this is because of how I am I am not sure of what to do as to this case. Part of me wants to go but another part of me is scared to be honest. I am afraid of seeing them again as I have seen them in passing since the crime and did not react well. Basically I got as far away from them as I could as fast as I could and broke down! I am afraid that if I do go I will be hindering myself in healing and getting over what happened. However the other side of me is wondering if I can get over this at all if I do not go. I am very conflicted.

I know my H2B is having the same thoughts as we have talked about this. We keep coming up to a wall. We know we do not want friends or family to go as we are afraid for them as he is dangerous and they do not know everything as it is and will be shocked about everything and even more worrid than they are. But the question is if we should go.

Honestly what would you do? Do you think you would be able to be in the same court room as a person such as this?

3v3

If you are not required, why put yourself through it? It sounds like you have been through a horrendous experience already and it will take time to come to terms with it (I doubt anyone, ever, gets completely "over" a dreadful experience). Attending, when you are not required, is unlikely to benefit either of you.

If it is the result of the court case which is what you are hoping to know by attending, could you contact the officer in the case and find out that way?

autumn23_2

3v3 wrote: »

If you are not required, why put yourself through it? It sounds like you have been through a horrendous experience already and it will take time to come to terms with it (I doubt anyone, ever, gets completely "over" a dreadful experience). Attending, when you are not required, is unlikely to benefit either of you.

If it is the result of the court case which is what you are hoping to know by attending, could you contact the officer in the case and find out that way?

No we are not required to go. There will be a lot of evidence as well as statements about how we have been effected since. Yes we have been through a lot, it is a daily battle for both of us although my H2B won't admit how bad it is for him but I know it is effecting him nearly as much, if not as much or more, than it is me.
I understand that we may never get over it fully but it has been quite a while and we haven't progressed as much as we hoped. I do wonder if this is because it isn't final? There is still a court case so we don't feel like there is an 'end' as it is still open.

We are both wanting to know the outcome. We have a victim support officer as well as a police officer who will report back to us just as they have been.

Why go? Well we both want to make sure the person doesn't try and pull a fast one I suppose. If we are there we get to put our side across then and there if it is needed (unlikely I know but this person is just the kind to try) instead of the court case being postponed and as we have waited long enough we do not want that to happen. The fact this person is still out on the streets is nearly enough for both us us to go just so we know they are being put away, that everything gets taken into account etc!
Part of me sees what you are saying about it not beneffiting either of us but it is very hard. At first I was sure about not going but as time goes by I doubt myself.
I suppose we are both hoping for the calm to come over us if (hopefully when) the person is put into prison, but there is always a small chance that they will be let off! I don't know how we would react if there were seen to be not guilty and we were in the court room at the time. After all just because they have pleaded not guilty before going doesn't mean they won't change their mind/story etc to make it harder/more of a grey area? I can't see how they would be we do worry.

LittleMrsThrifty

You could have a chat to your Victim Support Officer and Police Liaison Officer - or any other support professional you have been in contact since the incident. They will be able to advise you, based on prior experience, whether going to court will help or hinder your recovery. It may be that going to court offers 'closure' in the same way a funeral does. Noone liked funerals, but they know they have to be there. But it may be that it could cause memories to resurface which reverse your good progress. Only a professional can really advise you on this.

It would also be worth establishing whether your safety would be compromised by going to court. Of course we don't know the situation (and wouldn't expect you to disclose it on a public forum) but the police should be able to advise you on this.

I really do hope that, regardless of whether or not you decide to go to court, you and your husband have a smooth recovery and wish you all the very best.

peachyprice

autumn23 wrote: »

Why go? Well we both want to make sure the person doesn't try and pull a fast one I suppose. If we are there we get to put our side across then and there if it is needed (unlikely I know but this person is just the kind to try)

Would you be able to though? If you're not there as witnesses or part of the court case would you be able to be called upon? I would have thought not as witnesses have to be declared, I doubt they would just call you from the public gallery.

IMO, as long as you have someone there to let you know the outcome there is no need to go and be put through the trauma of having the whole thing trawled over again.

Also bear in mind, if you're not part of the case will you still get 'measures' put in place, or will you HAVe to sit in the public gallery? What if you breakdown whilst listening to the evidence being re-hashed, are you prepared to risk that happening in public and infront of the defendant. And what if the case doesn't go as you expect? Are you willing to sit there while they let him free?

Lots of questions you need to ask victim support.

tiny_tear

Going might help you get some closure...

ceh209

The person has pleaded guilty - you being there won't change the sentence he gets. If he changes his plea, they won't suddenly say 'oh well there's no witnesses here at the moment, we'll have to let him go.' They will contact you!


It's up to you whether you think you need to attend for 'closure'. If you think you do, go to the court on another day and sit in the public gallery - this can be with your VSO or on your own. I sat in the public gallery for a case for a couple of weeks, and the only time I saw the defendant was when he was entering/leaving the courtroom because of the way the courtroom was arranged - if he's currently remanded in custody then you wouldn't have even seen him then. It all depends on how the court is laid out so go and have a look if you think that's what you want to do.


If you want any more info about my court experience then do PM me xx

BugglyB

If the person has pleaded guilty then the case is going just for sentencing. You say you want to be there in case you have to put your side across, well at a sentencing hearing you wont get the chance to do this - you will just be a member of the public watching.

Ask Victim Support or your police officer about making a Victim Impact Statement. This allows the impact of the crime on you and your family to be acknowledged in court, and puts across your side of what happened.

emsbet

As others have said if he has already pleaded guilty then this next hearing is sentencing and you will just be either sitting in the public gallery or with the Vctim Support people at the court.

You say that you and your H2B have already provided a victim personal statement? If so this will be read out by the lawyer acting for the CPS and a copy will be given to the judge, who will take this in to consideration when sentencing. The victim personal statement is how you get to put your side acreoss.

As someone has suggested if you think you might like to attend the sentencing contact Victim Support and they should be able to arrange for you to go look around on a day prior to the hearing. Once you've seen the layout etc you may be able to make a decision .

Also are you receiving any counselling as part of your treatment for PTSD? Could you ask your counsellor what they think? xx

pinkshoes

Watching him being sentenced might give you some form of closure and it could help with the healing process?

RacyRed

You poor loves, what an awful situation to be in after what sounds like a really horrendous attack.

I agree with everything said before, at a sentencing hearing your statements will be read but you will not be given the opportunity to say anything. If he changes his plea to not guilty the case will be referred for jury trial at a later date and you will probably participate in that.

One thing to be very, very careful of is that the public gallery could have his family and friends in it, especially if he has been out on bail, they could be right next to you. If it were me, I wouldn't go into the court, but what I'd be tempted to do is find a cafe or something in view of the court and wait in there while the sentencing hearing is on - they don't usually take all that long - I did jury service in a crown court last year and we got a feel for how long the sentencing hearings took.

From your vantage point you may be able to see HIS relatives and friends coming out of court without him, so you know he has been sent down. And you avoid having to endure what could be an unpleasant time in court.

Your VSO/PLO will let you know what happened at the hearing. Talk to them and listen carefully to their advice about going to the hearing.

If you do go, you need lots of your nearest and dearest around you, really you do, so you should tell them what they might hear before they attend - might it help to get it out in the open? Why hide what a barstward this man has been? If a weapon was involved then there was nothing you could do to stop what was happening or being said. Maybe telling those you love what really happened would help your recovery far more than attending the court hearing?

You both sound so fragile hun, be gentle on yourselves.