Deciding what do with your life

studentphil

There must have been positive things you have got out of your time at university. Think about them. Write them down.
Met a few good friends
Helped me find knowledge I could never have dreamt of
Let me think about Religion more
Developed my Computer knowledge whilst there
Made me question my values

There must be things in your life you are proud you have achieved. Think about them. Write them down.
proud of sticking with learning to drive
Learning to Swim
Getting good A level Grades
Being able to cook

There must be skills you have. Think about them. Write them down.
IT skills
logical thinker
level headed (when I need to be)

xadoc

studentphil wrote:

I know I must work on my emotional state as it is very damaging to me.

That's fine. Start today. Every day try something new. But most importantly try to force yourself to see the positive in things.

There's a positive slant to even the bleakest situations - try to find it, you can even make a joke of it. (it's one of the essences of black comedy) While it doesn't change the situation it can make you feel a bit better about it and put things into perspective.

studentphil wrote:

I know I have a lot of skills and I am a useful person to myself. The problem is getting an employer to see that.

That's good to hear. Don't worry about employers. You're unlikely to get the first job you apply for. Don't worry about it. You're unlikely to get the first job you're interviewed for. Don't worry about it. Like anything, job application and interview skills are a skill and take practice (for most of us mortals anyway).

The best advice I can give in that regard is to read the job descriptions and person specs. Attack a job application as if it is an essay, they say they want X, you say you can do X and give an example of when you did it which was successful. Echo the words they use themselves. That's it. It's not rocket science. Try to come across as affable and human. Generally employers are human.

These days, most applications are sorted by panel giving 'points' for elements of job description and person spec they are looking for covered. The candidates with the most points get selected for interview. Then you do the same again, but this time the affability is probably as important if not moreso.

These people need to want to work with you (unless it's a massive multinational and you're being interviewed by someone you'll never meet again), don't be afraid to make a witty comment, if one occurs to you. Relax as far as possible - you're interviewing them too, you don't necessarily know you want the job yet!

But tell yourself with the jobs you really really want that you'll try your best, and you'll put the application in, but that realistically, if you really really want it, probably so will lots of other people, the competition will be tough so you won't beat yourself up if you're unlucky. If you don't get it, maybe it wouldn't have been the 'perfect' job anyway. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over again.

Accept rejection gracefully, ask for feedback if you think you can handle it, but don't expect to get more than a vague 'someone else had more experience' or something else not particularly helpful to you. Interviewing is actually quite stressful for the interviewer!

Don't fire off generic CV's or application forms, take time and effort tailoring each. Quantity is good, but quality is better.

Never ever undersell yourself. If you don't know how to do something say so, but emphasise that you're a quick learner etc and give an example of when you learnt something quickly and effectively.

Most of all - be positive (have you noticed a theme yet!)

studentphil wrote:

I am also a very competitive person and I am extermely concerned about my friends getting better jobs than me or being more successful than me. So that is a key thing that annoys me that I am not out competiting my friends in Employability at the moment.

Aww. Don't sweat the small stuff. Someone will always be richer than you, cleverer than you, prettier than you, better liked than you. And you will always be richer than someone else, cleverer than someone else, prettier than someone else, better liked than someone else. Unless your friends are gods, no-one's perfect. They can't be everything at once and there's probably things about you that they envy and admire.

Come to terms with who you are and what you can achieve. You can only strive to achieve your best; don't judge yourself by other people's standards as you can never be happy this way. Some people have skill, some people have luck, some people have both. Who cares? It's what you have and how you enjoy it that counts.

Take pleasure in the things you enjoy. Try not to be envious of your friends. You're probably used to being a high achiever. Well enjoy watching their success for once and be glad for them! Your time will come. Remember the hare and the tortoise?

What is success anyway? You don't have to answer that question. Personally, I feel that if you have an answer to it you will never think yourself successful enough because you will always be striving to live up to something and never stopping and enjoying the scenery.

I can't remember the statistic, but a high percentage of millionaires don't think they have enough money, and don't rate themselves as being particularly happy. They always want more, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but I'd rather be poor and happy than rich and unsatisfied.

Comfortably off and reasonably happy is fine by me.

xadoc

studentphil wrote:

There must have been positive things you have got out of your time at university. Think about them. Write them down.
Met a few good friends
Helped me find knowledge I could never have dreamt of
Let me think about Religion more
Developed my Computer knowledge whilst there
Made me question my values

There must be things in your life you are proud you have achieved. Think about them. Write them down.
proud of sticking with learning to drive
Learning to Swim
Getting good A level Grades
Being able to cook

There must be skills you have. Think about them. Write them down.
IT skills
logical thinker
level headed (when I need to be)

Brilliant.

Don't stop now. Add more when you think of them (and don't feel you have to share them here if you don't want to).

Don't stay up late (I know I'm not helping) it's actually better for you to use the day as circadian rhythms intend - be up and about in daylight, it's good for you in all sorts of ways.

I really have to go to bed now. I'll be grouchy tomorrow otherwise. And your hour is up :rotfl:

squirreltufty

Murphy_The_Cat wrote:

SP, I think that you (& everyone else) will find this thread from 17.08.06 very enlightening.

Yes folks, that thread is 5 months old, and yes, I was quite helpful on it, and yes, so were a lot of people, and yes, I do wonder why I bothered.

MTC

Thanks Murphy, I hadn't seen that thread before. I have been looking for ways to make use of my vast skills portfolio, and the link you posted may be just the thing. :beer:

Murphy_The_Cat

squirreltufty wrote:

Thanks Murphy, I hadn't seen that thread before. I have been looking for ways to make use of my vast skills portfolio, and the link you posted may be just the thing. :beer:

no worries squirrels - if one person (you) benefits from the help and advice that has been offered to the StudentPhils, then that is a good thing.

Mrs Cat swears blind that it was worth every penny.

MTC

Murphy_The_Cat

needmoney wrote:

and please tell me am I the only one left who thinks he's real.

Nope, Quasar half thinks that he could be genuine.

As for the rest of us .................................................

MTC

needmoney

Murphy_The_Cat wrote:

Nope, Quasar half thinks that he could be genuine.

As for the rest of us .................................................

MTC

I hadn't seen that post from months ago either and had been thinking lately that you'd been a bit hard on him, sorry for that. You gave him a bit of invaluable advice there I only wish I was young enough to use it.

I think he's real and like all the people here would dearly love to help him, i honestly think he's depressed and in a possibly well meaning but stifling home life and can't quite see his way out of it. Lots of people in situations like this and it takes courage/help to get out of it. Hard for us to understand but I genuinely hope he can succeed.

Incidentally would it be too intrusive to ask what job your wife does.

Gabriel-Ernest

I don't believe he's genuine, but I go along with the fantasy when I feel like it. Very occasionally there's a half-decent debate, at least to start with before the 'Pity Mes' come to stay again.

Murphy_The_Cat

needmoney wrote:

Incidentally would it be too intrusive to ask what job your wife does.

Not at all needmoney.
As of yesterday, she doesn't have a job at the moment as she has just started her maternity leave :j . Prior to that, for the past 2 years and a bit, Mrs Cat worked with me for 3 days a week.

But at the time that she went to the Careers Analyst, she had left Uni with a food related degree, but didn't know what to do with it. After visiting them, they opened her eyes/steered her into a different direction, and she then pursued a career in Sales, with her starting from the bottom and eventually finishing up as National Account manager/ Sales manager for a UK industry leading company. (plus she got to visit America, China, Hong Kong, Portugal, Spain, Germany & France as well)

Then She/We had MTK and our priorities changed.

But she would never have considered the Career path that she chose, it was only the Career Analyst that suggested this route to her after looking at her skills/strengths.

MTC

piper5

ahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha brilliant!! another all about 'phil' thread!!
whats quite exciting about this one, is the idea came from a 'city workers' thread in which every one witnessed phil turn it around on him.... AGAIN!! so now he has pulled the idea up but.. oh.. look, its all about phil again!!
i seriously dont know why you bother phil, surely there must be careers advisors at uni, people who can point you in the right direction, i mean you are asking a bunch of strangers about career advice and everyone is different with different opinions!!!
you are clearly, yet again, wasting everybody's good natures, time and helpful advie to ignore, yet again, and bring it back to MSE in ooohhh 3 months time!!!
what do you want to do phil, its your life, and im no artist so i aint painting the picture of it for you!!!!