Could my partner take my house from me if we were to split ?

zag2me

The Law is biased towards the woman, especially when children are involved. Personally I wouldn't bother getting a mortgage if you think the relationship isn't going to last.

thesaint

MJMum wrote:

I think suggesting that his GF's parents should house his child would count!

You conveniently forgot the rest of what he said.
quote"I would give more than 100% support to my child - I love my child to bits.

So of course I would pay maintenance.

No matter what happens I will always be there and support my child in every possible way.

If we did breakup my girlfriend could (and has in the past) go back to her parents." unquote


So it was an assumption. Thanks

thesaint

zag2me wrote:

The Law is biased towards the woman, especially when children are involved. Personally I wouldn't bother getting a mortgage if you think the relationship isn't going to last.

The law isn't actually biased towards women in 95% of cases. The law is not actually gender specific in cases of children. Where the bias is in Solicitor's and Judge's interpretation of it.

I agree with the sentiment 100%

MJMum

and support my child in every possible way

EXCEPT - put a roof over its head!! :rolleyes:

money_saving_expert_5

$$$ wrote:

Without knowing the details of the OP's relationship I think some of the comments are a bit unfair.

I'm in a similar situation (except I am married).

We both work and are saving for a house. She earns around 2/3 of what I do. I save around 75% of my net income - she rarely manages to save more than 10% or so. We share all bills.

We love each other - but she's been through a lot. Serious illness which has left her mentally and physically scarred. As well as string of abusive relationships.

Every couple of months or so I am pretty much guaranteed a beating from my missus (which has included being whacked around the head with a high heeled shoe and most recently dragging her finger nails down my face drawing blood). Basically everything gets too much for her and the red mist will come down.

She is normally very loving, giving and generally wonderful. I've tried everything I can to try and mitigate the Hyde side (she generally gets angry when I talk about external help - she comes from a culture where people don't do that).

Now I can see there might come a time when I might not be able to stand this anymore - and if we have bought a house together I can see I'll be stuffed. She's not likely to be too impressed with any suggestion of a legal agreement either.

You can't help the one you love even if they can be utterly terrible people sometimes.

Thanks for being understanding $$$ - I am in a similar (tho not quite the same) situation.

I am not going to go into my personal relationship.

But I will say that she also has the jackal and hyde characterstic.

And mental health problems and bad previous relationships have also played a part.

People around me are telling me to put my foot down and stop letting her walk all over me or even walk away from her completely.

We did not plan for a child it was just one of those things (contraception failed).

Even so I love my child and think the world of my child.

Regarding the legal agreement, my girlfiend would also not be very impressed with the suggestion of a legal agreement either - in fact all hell would break loose if I even mentioned such a thing.

She is very volatile and I'm always walking on thin ice.

I am very put off from getting a mortgage now

kittiwoz

Perhaps you should keep your finances totally seperate. If she paid you rent as a lodger and you paid her for all the things she does which allow you to focus on paid work, eg. childcare, cooking, cleaning I wouldn't imagine she would have any claim on the house since she wouldn't be a co-habitee. Maybe someone with more experience or knowledge in the area could comment?

money_saving_expert_5

barnaby-bear wrote:

Maybe he should have thought more carefully about who and when he had a kid with?

Things dont always work out like that. Contraception is NOT 100% effective. It was definitely the wrong time and maybe even the wrong person, but the mother has the final say.

Saying that I love my child and of course I wouldnt just kick my own child out on the street. I would also pay maintenance and support my child.

barnaby-bear wrote:

I certainly don't want to pay (via my tax) for some stranger's kid to be housed - his kid his responsibility.

And I am taking responsibility for my own child.

This post is going off on a tangent and turning into a slagging match.

And people do not know the personal and confidential details about our relationship so should not be commenting.

And people are wrongly accusing me of not being prepared or wanting to support my child.

All I want to know is if my GF can strip me clean financially if I was to get a mortgage and then we split.

Acc72

MJMum wrote:

EXCEPT - put a roof over its head!! :rolleyes:

I get the impression the OP would want to put a roof over his childs head - it is just that he doesn't also want to pay to put a roof over his girlfriends head.

As the OP would not be living in this house, he obviously needs to also put a roof over his own head, so therefore this does not seem unreasonable to me.

Reading the comments, there are obviously 2 camps - depending on your gender.

barnaby-bear

money_saving_expert wrote:

All I want to know is if my GF can strip me clean financially if I was to get a mortgage and then we split.

Probably not much financial gain of the property but she may well get to live there because housing the child seen as the priority.

clutton_2

i think a court would ask - what is in the best interest of the child ? if OP bought this mortgage and then the relationship split up. No-one can second guess a judge, but, the judge will be thinking - where should this child live, with the least amount of disruption to its life. These are the questions that OP needs to address now, and try to address without his feelings towards his partner clouding his judgment - very difficult i know.