My little bro..

Lifeisbutadream

I wonder whether someone could help me give some advice to my younger brother?

I have asked about my brother before, but the situation has changed somewhat now.

My brother earns £17K - his wife kicked him out of their home and he now lives in a bedsit.

They have a 3 year old son.

My brother is currently paying half of the nursery fees for their child, and he has him half of the time - she earns £25K and is getting all the child related benefits.

SHe is now moving away (100 miles away) to live with her new bloke. SHe has told my bro that she still expects him to have their son for half the time and to pay half the nursery fees.

He has rung the CSA today (first time they have been involved) and they told him not to pay her any more until they have sorted it out and that he should be paying around £12 a week (rather than the £100 a week that he is currently paying)

He rang her today to tell her he was stopping payments. Obviously she is not happy about this and has told him that he can only see their son once every 2 weeks now.

So I have a few questions:

Is he likely to be entitled to legal aid?
Can she just take their son 100 miles away?
What should he do about payments to her - does this figure sound right?

bestpud

I can't answer the other questions, but there is a calculator on the CSA website, so you can check how much he would pay. The £12 sounds like it may include a deduction for having him so often.

Mammato1

Hello,

I suppose we are not hearing the whole story - I am on the other side trying to move away from my ex and have good reasons for it. Obviously you will always support your family member.

Just a few answers for you - very, very unlikely that he would get any legal aid, you need to be on a much lower income but obviously if he is paying towards child care costs then they would take it into account.

He can chack out various solicitors - they usually do assessment for free - they will tell him whether or not he would qualify (as I said very unlikely). A word of warning though - if he stopped paying what he was paying they won't take it into account - they only look at the situation at the point of assessment.

£12 sounds reasonable, providing he still has the child half a week (otherwise it would be higher). My ex was earning much less and I was getting £23 a week as he does not pay anything else or do not have our child over at his.

As for her expectation that your brother would still see the child as often and contribute the same amount - this is totally unreasonable. Also the costs of travel will be high and any court would expect that both parents share it - either meet half way and 'haqnd over' or one person delivers a child and another brings it back or alternate times, etc.

Hope this clarifies things a bit.

Lifeisbutadream

Mammato1 wrote: »

Hello,

I suppose we are not hearing the whole story - I am on the other side trying to move away from my ex and have good reasons for it. Obviously you will always support your family member.

Just a few answers for you - very, very unlikely that he would get any legal aid, you need to be on a much lower income but obviously if he is paying towards child care costs then they would take it into account.

He can chack out various solicitors - they usually do assessment for free - they will tell him whether or not he would qualify (as I said very unlikely). A word of warning though - if he stopped paying what he was paying they won't take it into account - they only look at the situation at the point of assessment.

£12 sounds reasonable, providing he still has the child half a week (otherwise it would be higher). My ex was earning much less and I was getting £23 a week as he does not pay anything else or do not have our child over at his.

As for her expectation that your brother would still see the child as often and contribute the same amount - this is totally unreasonable. Also the costs of travel will be high and any court would expect that both parents share it - either meet half way and 'haqnd over' or one person delivers a child and another brings it back or alternate times, etc.

Hope this clarifies things a bit.

Thank you - I dont really want to get into the 'he said, she said' part - last time I posted it was suggested that my bro was a wife beater etc.

I stayed on good terms with my sister in law until she cut all ties with me - I know what has happened from both sides and although I would always support my bro I would never support him if I thought he were wrong. Her own family have now turned against her as well, so that pretty much says it all to me. Her reasons for moving away are 'to make a fresh start and to be with her boyfriend that she has known for 2 months.

My bro is also in the midle of a breakdown, he is not strong enough to fight any of this, which is why I am trying to help him.

onetomany

hows half time each going to work when you live 100 miles away? sorry but this will come up what about school etc? i think she can move anywhere in th uk and if he went for a contact order thro the courts they will take the travelinto considaration, he could go for custordy but him not haveing a home will go against him sorry if this sounds harsh he really needs to get legal advice

Mammato1

Lifeisbutadream, I am sure there is a lot to a story, no need to get defensive and I really feel for your brother - he obviously is commited if he paid so much and had a kid over.
That's why I'm trying to help posting what I know for certain.

Forgot to say, some CABs have arrangements with solicitors who then provide half an hr consultation for free on CAB premises. Otherwise it is costly.

Yes, difficult with school and he wouldn't be able to have half week here, half there - I think that's out of questions (also disruptive for any child) but if he was to see the child at the weekend, he could insist on splitting the costs and time to travel (to which she will probably say no, and then he will have to either fight in court or if he feels he can't at the moment he will have to agree).

If I was to move away from my ex I would not ask him to pay but this is just me.

FBaby

He could fight for custody on the basis that he currently has the child half the time and she is choosing to move, he might a good case, but of course, that would involve cost and having to be strong. Still, it is his one chance to fight if the prospect of seeing his child only 2 days every other week-end is one he is not prepared to accept without a fight. Good luck to your brother.

DeeLasVegas

The child is only 3 so schooling wouldn't come into the equation....yet.

Mammato1

Yes but time flies and before you notice the child will be at a school age.

Agree, if he doesn't fight now the chances will be much slimmer later on. But the court will take into consideration his housing situation, no doubt.

Also before the case goes to court, the solicitor will most likely advise family mediation which is around the rate of £90- £140 a session. This is a mechanism to keep cases away from court if possible. In my opinion, it can be (more often than not) a waste of time as mediation is not legally binding and any party may walk away or break arrangements at any point. Yet, if you refuse to take up mediation and the case goes to court, it is quite likely the judge would assigne all (or more) costs to the party which declined family mediation.
So there you go - even more money!
I earn less than your bro and if it wasn't for hefty childcare costs I wouldn't even be eligible for leagal aid for mediation. I just made it (and as I said I earn 2K less than he does).

There are fora for single parents (and single fathers) - you can google them up - many knowledgeable ppl out there.

And there is also Gingerbread - an organisation for single parents with helpline. Maybe he could try there as well?

DeeLasVegas

Is there already a custody/residence order in place detailing the current living arrangements? Or is this an informal agreement between them.

Lifeisbutadream

DeeLasVegas wrote: »

Is there already a custody/residence order in place detailing the current living arrangements? Or is this an informal agreement between them.

Its an informal arrangement at the moment.