Secondary School Child - Home Alone

needanewjob

My DD has just started in high school and is getting herself out of the house, locking the door and to the bus stop on time (so far). I have been home before her so far but from next week I'll be stating & finishing work later, so she'll be coming home to an empty house for an hour after school. At first I was very anxious because she'd never been on a bus, let alone on her own before. She has a mobile and knows she can go next door if there's a problem, but I am much more relaxed about it now. She's an only child, 11 and a half, but quite sensible. During the school hols she was on her own for a couple of hours am & pm. Trust your child and your own instincts.

Spendless

looby75 wrote: »

He's not keen on being on his own but needs must, there isn't any childcare for high school age children that I know of, so the suggestion that you shouldn't ever leave a child under 13 on their own just isn't practical IMO.

I totally agree. Most of us don't live on the doorstep of a Secondary school. Many of us have more than 1 child and the majority of us don't have multiple birth kids as our only children. it therefore stands to reason that when first borns go to High school we aren't able to be at home as the same time as meeting the needs of a younger sibling elsewhere and or being at work when childcare doesn't usually exist.

Children in England and Wales go to Senior school aged 11, even if you have a child born in the first few days of September they will still do yr 7 under 13 years of age, if you have a late July or August born child they'll do years 7 and 8 before getting to 13. Meanwhile they can and do catch school buses/public transport buses, cycle or walk longer distances unaccompanied by an adult, are responsible for their own work, packing of bags, some even take GCSEs (our friends daughter sat Spanish GCSE in yr 7) but when it comes to them letting themselves in with a door key and sitting in the front room watching tv and raiding the bisuit tin for an hour or so alone, suddenly we shouldn't really be doing this- bonkers!

theladsmum

Children in England and Wales go to Senior school aged 11, even if you have a child born in the first few days of September they will still do yr 7 under 13 years of age, if you have a late July or August born child they'll do years 7 and 8 before getting to 13. Meanwhile they can and do catch school buses/public transport buses, cycle or walk longer distances unaccompanied by an adult, are responsible for their own work, packing of bags, some even take GCSEs (our friends daughter sat Spanish GCSE in yr 7) but when it comes to them letting themselves in with a door key and sitting in the front room watching tv and raiding the bisuit tin for an hour or so alone, suddenly we shouldn't really be doing this- bonkers![/QUOTE]

Well said! There was no choice for us when my son started secondary - he had a key to let himself in, and is alone for 1.5 - 2 hours until we are home. Rules set - lock door, do not answer it to anyone, no friends in. I have gradually relaxed those rules - he is now in year 9. We have had no mishaps at all.

On the other hand, no way would I leave him to get himself up and out in a morning! I am lucky that his school serves breakfast in the canteen so I drop him off on the way to work. Left to his own devices he would go back to sleep and wake up at lunch!!

Taadaa

My son travels to and from school on a bus by himself, and he lets himself in every evening more or less, and is alone for an hour or so. Like you, I don't like it at all but I have to work to keep the roof over our heads. He has done it since he was 11. The best practice is that children aren't left alone until they are 13, but there is no minimum age limit in law. As others have said, if he is sensible and can be trusted, then try not to worry too much. A little bit of independance might be good for him now anyway.

Savvy_Sue

Spendless wrote: »

I totally agree. Most of us don't live on the doorstep of a Secondary school.

That can be an advantage, of course. Mine were never home from secondary before 4 pm, which was an hour later than primary, just because of getting the bus home!

esmy

If he doesn't start secondary school till next year you have lots of time to start 'practising' the bus journey and being in the house alone for an hour or two, maybe starting around his 11th birthday?? This will give him (and you!) confidence that he'll manage and plenty of opportunity to iron out any problems.
What worked for me was a trusted neighbour who could be called on if needs be, clear rules about what they could and couldn't do and a call from me each day at the time they would be home to check all was well. Downsides were that they missed me far more than I had expected they would and the biscuit bill went up dramatically!:) Upsides were seeing them gain in confidence and responsibility and occaionally the dog would be walked or the washing up done.
What about school holidays? Will you need to think about child care for him?

Spendless

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

That can be an advantage, of course. Mine were never home from secondary before 4 pm, which was an hour later than primary, just because of getting the bus home!

Opposite way round where I live Sue. Secondary school in next vilage with a dedicated school bus and a finish time 20 mins before Primary school and my DD is often late out (3.40 this afternoon). DS met me in the playground - after dumping his schoolbag behind our dustbin cos he'd forgotten his door-key, so there he is finished for the day whilst he waits for little sister to come out. it always used to amuse me with parents with big gaps, when their Secondary school were waiting in the playground for their 4 year old siblings to finish their school day 9little ones get longer breaks though).